


Cuddle Buddy

by bealovelylady



Series: UshiHina Mini (And Not So Mini) Fics [14]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Couch Cuddles, Dumb Ushijima, Fluff, M/M, Size Difference, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:14:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 55,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23676688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bealovelylady/pseuds/bealovelylady
Summary: Ushijima: Tired and stressed.When a coworker hands him a business card for a cuddling agency, is this just what he needs or simple foolishness?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: UshiHina Mini (And Not So Mini) Fics [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1073484
Comments: 182
Kudos: 639
Collections: Best Stories of All Time





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fflowerpower94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fflowerpower94/gifts).



> This fic was written for fflowerpower94! I hope you enjoy it 😘 Sorry it took me so long to get around to posting it! 😢

“You seem stressed lately, Ushijima-san.”

Olive eyes turned up slowly, tired, to look at his fellow co-worker in the small, company break room. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in here before. Usually you go out for your lunch, don’t you?”

Wakatoshi nodded slowly, too tired even to answer properly. It was true that work had been getting more and more stressful lately, but that wasn’t really all it was. After all, Wakatoshi was almost 35, and his mother had been on his case for the past few weeks about finding a suitable bride, even offering to look for women for him. It tired Wakatoshi out more than anything, and now his private life was stressful along with work, and Wakatoshi just wanted a moment of peace to find him. 

A hand settled against his broad back and Wakatoshi looked up in surprise, his co-worker standing there with a small, knowing smile. “Maybe a girlfriend would help, even if it’s just casual-“

Wakatoshi groaned so loud that the water in his glass rippled, and his co-worker laughed out shortly, then fell to silence. His hand pulled away and he pulled out his wallet, rifling through it. 

“Well, I don’t know how you prefer to relieve stress, but this service has always helped me a lot when I was particularly stressed from work and my personal life, so check them out if you’d like to.”

A business card was set by Wakatoshi’s hand and just like that, he was alone again, only his thoughts to nag him. He sighed wearily and swept up the card without looking at it, stuffing it in his suit pocket. It was almost time to get back to work; he wondered if it would be better to stay late and avoid personal issues or head home early and avoid work issues. Either option seemed depressing.

x

With a tiredness that sunk to his bones, Wakatoshi peeled off his suit jacket in the early hours of the morning. He’d barely been able to drive home, he was so tired, and now all he wanted was to collapse. Out of the corner of his eye, something fluttered down to the floor, but he was too tired to mind it, slipping out of his button up shirt and pants as he made his way to bed, falling atop neat covers, asleep in an instant. Tomorrow, at least, he’d have the day off, and so he could sleep in for a while and ignore the world. 

x

Wakatoshi sat squatted down, the mess of clothes he’d left lying around last night neatly collected in his arms now, but he sat silent as he stared at the floor near the entranceway. A small card, white with soft, grey writing, sat silent and innocent on his hardwood floor, and Wakatoshi was in a trance, staring at it. He was trying to remember where it had come from, how it had ended up here. Ahh, yes, his coworker had given it to him, and he’d stuck it in his pocket. It must have fallen out last night in his effort to remove clothes as quickly as possible. Wakatoshi picked it up and stood again, slowly moving to his bedroom to hang up his clothes from yesterday. The business card, he set on the bed for now, until he could examine it better or just throw it away. 

With a tired sigh, he hung up his suit jacket and pants, his shirt going into the hamper to be washed. His tie was stored again with all the others he owned, and he stood for a long moment staring down at the drawer with the neat rolls of so many ties. Over the 15 years he’d been slaving away at his company, he’d collected so many ties, and now he barely wore half of them anymore, and yet he couldn’t find it in himself to throw old ties away. Staring at them, he wondered what the point had been, back when he’d been trying so hard and had bought so many fancy ties with new paychecks. He scrubbed a hand over his neck; he was so tired of everything, tired of trying, and yet he had a responsibility, a job to do. Just because he was tired, he couldn’t just throw away the years he’d spent climbing his way to the top. He could have only dreamed to be such a big man when he’d graduated college at 21, and yet here he was. 

And he was lonely. God, he was so lonely. He’d certainly had a few suitors back in the day, but the less time he had for them, the fewer they became until there was no one left who wanted to deal with a tired, angry workaholic. 

He closed his tie drawer and sat heavy down on his bed, already made again. His hands swept back and caught over something rough, hand pulling up again to examine the offending item. That business card again. With a sigh, he stood to toss it away, no energy to even try anything new, but as he stood over his open trash can, he stopped.

“Cuddle Bunnies”, the card proclaimed as the business name. There was a phone number and website, but what caught Wakatoshi was the handwritten note in the corner. “Until next time,” in cute, curly handwriting, most likely from a girl. The name too, “Hinata” with a heart. Wakatoshi swallowed, trying to decipher what it all meant. So this was a service where girls brought bunnies to your house for you to play with and cuddle? This was stress relief? Wakatoshi couldn’t even remember what bunnies looked liked, but more importantly, what it was like to speak to a girl. He froze, wondering if he was crazy for actually considering it. Slowly, he set the card on his kitchen counter, closing his trash can by depressing the foot pedal. He shuffled off to his living room in his dorm pants and college sweater, the most dressed down he’d been in years. He sat down and turned on the tv, begging his mind to shut off for a few hours before his mother would undoubtably call him. 

He just wanted to stop thinking for a while.

x

Wakatoshi closed the door behind him, a relatively short Monday considering, but it was nearly 9pm and Wakatoshi was bone tired. He leaned back against the door behind him, letting out a long, slow sigh. After a moment of rest, he pulled himself up again and shuffled out of his black trench coat, hanging it up neatly before tugging off his suit jacket next, loosening his tie. He pulled his shoes off and set them neatly to the side, before stepping into his slippers and shuffling to his bedroom to hang up his suit jacket and roll up his tie. He unbuttoned his top two buttons, which felt extremely casual, before moving into the kitchen to find a take-out menu to get some food delivered, too tired to cook anything at all. 

With phone in hand and his food order put in, Wakatoshi stared at his kitchen counter, mind stuttering. Before him lay that business card, Hinata’s name like a lure begging him to consider. He opened the browser on his phone and typed in the website address, watching it load. 

Wakatoshi skimmed over a description and too many little graphics of cute bunnies. On the menu, there was a tab called, “Meet our Bunnies”. He tapped on it, waited again for a new page to load. 

“Oh,” he murmured softly as the pictures loaded, not bunnies at all, but human beings. Then, “Oh,” again when he found Hinata’s photo. Hinata, a boy with curly, bright orange hair and too many freckles to count. “Oh,” whispered Wakatoshi as he clicked back to the first page and actually read over the business’ description. 

“Feeling tired or stressed, or simply lonely? Please let one of our Cuddle Bunnies ease some of your worries~ We are an on-call service that delivers a companion and cuddle buddy to anyone in need of a little human contact and company.”

At the bottom was a disclaimer stating that it was not a sexual service and that no requests to do so would be tolerated. Wakatoshi felt some distaste rise up with the idea of even considering needing this, but before it got to his rational mind, he was quietly accepting the idea. After all, he was a lonely man, and this is what the service was created for, whether it was slightly shameful or not. 

“Okay...” he murmured as he dialed the number on the card. He couldn’t remember why he shouldn’t be doing this, why he would normally immediately dismiss the idea of calling someone over just to... cuddle. Could he even cuddle? He couldn’t recall ever doing it before. But the phone was already ringing, and when a pleasant girl answered, Wakatoshi completely forgot his concerns. 

“Ahh, is Hinata working tonight?”

“Are you a return customer?” the girl asked cheerfully.

“Ah...” Wakatoshi paused. “No.”

She giggled, and he blushed, unused to reactions like this. He felt suddenly socially awkward and 14 again. 

“I’ve actually never... even cuddled anyone before.”

She laughed a little softer this time, finally assuring him that many of their customers had been new to it when they began as well. “Our cuddlers will guide you, but it is up to them to do most of the work anyways. You asked for Hinata? Did you find him on our website?”

“Ah...” Awkward again. He looked down at the card in his hand and found himself saying, “A co-worker recommended him.” 

“Oh, wonderful! He is working tonight, so you are in luck! He should be coming back from his previous client’s any moment, and I will send him over whenever you’re ready.”

“Sure, whenever he can make it...” Wakatoshi scratched at his neck. “I mean, if he needs a break before he comes...”

The girl laughed again, dismissing his concerns sweetly. She asked for his address and contact information, saying she would be sending over a small document for him to sign, stating that he would not do anything untoward to the Cuddle Bunny sent to him. He electronically signed it as soon as he got off the phone. 

He nearly dropped his phone when the doorbell rang. “Already?” he whispered, turning slowly to answer. He pulled his door open and forgot for a moment he’d ordered food nearly half an hour ago. “Oh, let me get... my wallet...” he murmured, wondering why his heart was racing. He dug in his coat beside him and paid the kid a good tip for bringing him his dinner. With a sigh, he sank down at his dining room table and ate in absolutely silence, something he found he truly enjoyed recently. When an hour passed and Wakatoshi was beginning to wonder when Hinata would be coming, he pulled out a bottle of wine and poured himself a glass. His phone lit up and one glance at it made him wonder if the night could get any more depressing. He debated answering it as his front doorbell rang again. He picked his phone up, silencing the call from his mother and stuffing it into his slacks’ pocket. With wine glass in hand, he moved mindlessly to answer his door. 

“Hello! I’m Hinata from Cuddle Bunnies! Sorry to make you wait!”

Wakatoshi nearly dropped his wine glass. He stared at the bright-eyed male on his doorstep, the other looking back with slowly growing concern. 

“I’m sorry, did I get the wrong place?” Hinata looked back down at his phone in wide-eyed concern, but Wakatoshi was still stuck on his first impression. Hinata was tiny, almost half his size, and aside from that, he didn’t look a day over 18. With panicked eyes, Wakatoshi looked around outside and then opened the door for Hinata, waving him in urgently. 

“No, I called,” he assured a hesitant Hinata. 

“Oh, good! I was worried-!” Hinata’s whole face lit up, but he was still standing outside and Wakatoshi was beginning to sweat now, thinking any moment someone would see him with a glass of wine in his hand and a teenager on his doorstep. 

“Please come in!” he rushed, more commanding than inviting, but Hinata giggled as he wiggled his way inside. He turned back to Wakatoshi as he shut his door firmly, beaming wide up at the tall man. 

“Thank you for asking for me by na-“

“How old are you?” 

Hinata paused, blinking big, brown eyes, a little stunned. He giggled again, his lips pulling up into a smile, though he looked slightly flustered by the harsh question. Wakatoshi cleared his throat and shifted on his feet. “I just mean- you look-“

“I’m 20!” responded the redhead with a big smile, reassuring, but Wakatoshi felt a weight settle on his shoulders, his age weighing him down suddenly. He slowly scrubbed a hand over his face, but at the very least, the boy before him was legal. 

“You’re very small,” said Wakatoshi without thinking, his hand still rubbing at his eyes. When the hall went very quiet, he slowly dropped his hand. Hinata looked so utterly crestfallen that Wakatoshi felt terrible. “Ah, no, I mean- it’s not... a bad thing...”

Big, wet, brown eyes looked up at Wakatoshi and it was like a punch to the gut. He suddenly wasn’t sure he could do this at all and not make it extremely awkward. 

“Would you like some wine?” he asked with a weary sigh. 

“I would, but I’m not allowed-“

“You’re too young,” thought Wakatoshi aloud with a start, but Hinata just laughed a little bit in confusion. 

“No, it’s in the contract. I can’t drink on the job.”

Wakatoshi felt suddenly very tired and very stupid. “Oh,” he murmured as he shut his lips tightly. He shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, thinking this was a terrible start to this whole thing. Why had he even called to request the service? He was out of his mind. He should just call it off now. But when Hinata looked up and smiled at him, he forgot what he’d been thinking about. Just like that, his sanity and worry fled him again.

“Do you prefer the couch or the bed?” Hinata asked, Wakatoshi shocked out of his mindless stare. He blinked, confused. 

“Umm-“

“Ah, that’s right, you’ve never done this before, right?” Hinata looked around the apartment behind him, his movement slowing down as he went. “Wow,” he murmured quietly. When he turned back to Wakatoshi again, he was a little quieter. “I knew this was a nice area, but this apartment must be so expensive...”

Wakatoshi blinked at him, looking around too like he’d just seen his place for the first time. He wanted to shrug it off as no big deal, it was his home, but he didn’t truly know how to respond to what Hinata had said. No one had ever been inside his apartment before, aside from his mother... He stared at Hinata, realizing suddenly that this stranger was truly his first guest. 

“I’m sorry, that was rude!” burst the little redhead, grinning awkwardly. “I just meant to look around and then I... What I wanted to say was, we can start on the couch since this is your first time, or we can even just talk-“

“Okay,” said Wakatoshi automatically, suddenly nervous like he’d never been before. Hinata nodded with bright eyes and stepped out of his shoes, bouncing into the big apartment as he looked around. Wakatoshi fixed his shoes with a crooked frown and then went to set his glass of wine down on the kitchen table. 

“Oh, you can still drink if you’d like to!” Hinata told him, inspecting the living room now and Wakatoshi’s entertainment console that he barely used. “Wow!” whispered the redhead in awe. He turned back to Wakatoshi with big eyes. “You must be a very important man,” he said as his eyes roved over Wakatoshi still in his work clothes, standing by his big, empty dining room table. Wakatoshi felt the space between them suddenly like a chasm, and he wondered when he’d started feeling so disconnected from everyone else. He refilled his glass and gulped it down, begging the wine to give him courage and make him stop saying foolish things. He filled his glass again. “Can I get you something else to drink? Or some food?”

“Water is fine,” Hinata said with a big smile as he turned to survey the couch. “I ate before I came.”

Wakatoshi stiffly moved into the kitchen to fill up a tall glass with water from his fridge, picking his own glass up again as he awkwardly stepped into the living room beside Hinata. The redhead looked up and gratefully took the water from Wakatoshi, drinking it all down in one go. 

“Ah,” he giggled in great relief as he set the empty glass down on the glass coffee table. He turned back to Wakatoshi with a bright smile. “Thank you! Are you okay with the couch, then?”

Wakatoshi nodded stiffly and retrieved two coasters, setting Hinata’s glass and his own down atop them. Hinata hurled himself at the couch, crawling to sit on his knees as he waited for Wakatoshi with a big smile. The brunet awkwardly took his own seat, a few inches away from Hinata. 

“I’ve never done this before,” he said like Hinata didn’t already know. The redhead giggled and waved off Wakatoshi’s concerned look. 

“You can do whatever you’d usually do to relax. You can turn on the tv or play a game or even just sit here in silence, and I’ll just cuddle you if that’s okay.”

“I’ve never cuddled anyone before either,” Wakatoshi felt compelled to say, like Hinata was drawing out all of his secrets. 

Brown eyes went wide and Hinata asked, “Really?! Not even with a girlfriend?”

“Never really... had one of those either.” Why was he saying all of this? Hinata looked so heartbroken for him, yet somehow his sad life didn’t hurt as much as Hinata with that expression. The redhead shuffled closer and declared, “Leave it to me!” as he slotted his tiny body into the crook of Wakatoshi’s. Thin legs draped over Wakatoshi’s lap and he felt suddenly frozen. His arms hung useless against his sides, Hinata trying to get in between it and Wakatoshi’s body, but his mind refused to cooperate. 

“Hey, put your arm around me and hold me, okay?” Hinata said, big eyes looking up across the plane that was Wakatoshi’s chest. He looked so small against the man, but more than anything Wakatoshi found it... really cute. He swallowed and wondered what he’d gotten himself into. 

Like his arm was made of lead, he lifted it slowly, cradling it around Hinata’s small frame. The redhead sighed happily and snuggled closer, shutting his eyes as he hummed. 

So, what was it he’d said? Do what he usually did to relax? Wakatoshi had forgotten how to, so he just sat silent as he stared at the wall before them, wishing he could shut his brain off. After a while, Hinata looked up again, eyes cracking open. 

“Do you want to talk?” Hinata asked softly, Wakatoshi silent for a long while after. He felt like his body was slowly giving in, and he pulled Hinata a little closer. 

“I don’t have anything interesting to say,” Wakatoshi murmured quietly, and Hinata laid his head back against the man’s chest. 

“That’s okay,” he said sweetly, and Wakatoshi felt himself finally sink into the couch and relax. He leaned back and shut his eyes, thinking that this wasn’t so bad after all. It was the most peaceful he’d felt in a very long time. Hinata was surprisingly able to sit very still, though he seemed like someone who usually liked to bounce off the walls. 

“Do you like it? Cuddling?” Wakatoshi asked after a very long, peaceful silence. 

“Yes!” crooned the redhead, shuffling a little closer and hugging Wakatoshi’s waist. “It helps me calm down too.”

Wakatoshi felt a laugh rise, but he let it die out in his chest. Still, it was the closest anyone lately had brought him to laughter. He smiled gratefully, a tiny thing, and pulled Hinata’s head back to his chest without thinking much about it. 

Minutes passed peacefully and Wakatoshi thought he could stay like this forever. But soon Hinata was pulling gently away, smiling softly. 

“Your hour is up, unless you’d like to extend.”

“Oh,” murmured Wakatoshi as he slowly sat up again. “No, that’s okay. Thank you.”

“No problem at all! I enjoyed it, and it seemed like you really needed it!”

“Yes,” murmured Wakatoshi as he watched Hinata bound off, taking his glass to the kitchen, and then to the entryway to pull on his shoes. 

“Please call for me again anytime! If you enjoyed it, that is!” His smile fell for a second, Wakatoshi having slowly made his way over. The man didn’t respond, still trying to figure out if this was weird or a good thing. He simply nodded and walked Hinata to the door, seeing him out quietly. Hinata lingered for a moment before nodding silently and running off. Wakatoshi shut his front door, a dumb fool. He stood there for a few minutes, wondering if he could process anything that had happened. Instead, he finally just made his way to his bedroom, where he undressed and crawled under his covers, asleep in seconds flat. 

x

Wakatoshi was wearing a hole in his hardwood flooring. He had the phone number for the cuddling agency pulled up on his phone, but so far he still hadn’t been able to dial. It was only Wednesday, and yet he couldn’t stop thinking about Monday night, about Hinata who had made him feel so calm. He hadn’t slept well last night, which wasn’t unusual but felt worse than usual when compared to the wonderful sleep he’d gotten Monday night. Aside from that, today had been horrible at the office, and the stress was making his toes curl. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to dial the agency. 

It was weird, he knew that. He knew it because he hadn’t been able to even tell the man who’d recommended the company to him about it. He knew it because the thought of his mom finding out made his stomach turn and knot up. And yet, here he was. 

He set his phone down after another half dozen paces, telling himself it wasn’t needed. He didn’t need some tiny thing cuddling him to be able to find peace. He pulled a frozen meal out of his freezer and stuck it in the oven, pouring himself a full glass of wine. He stared at it, looked at his phone again. He didn’t need it, he really didn’t. He sat down silently and ate his food, drank his wine. He tried to watch TV. It was 10; they probably wouldn’t even send anyone out this late. 

But Wakatoshi was so tired, tired of trying to stay awake, tired of restless sleep and this feeling that itched in his very bones, that nothing he did was ever good enough. But mostly he was tired of the loneliness that clawed at him like a feral cat, that ate away at him every day. And yet, when his mother called, he dismissed every profile she sent his way, too tired to even try. He glanced to his left side where his phone lay, staring, staring. 

He was calling before he even knew it, really. Something possessed him. “Cuddle Bunnies! How may we assist you today?”

“Sorry for calling so late,” Wakatoshi whispered to the cheerful girl on the other end. He couldn’t even tell if it was the same girl as last time. They all sounded the same to him. 

“No problem!” she said happily. “Is this your first time calling?”

“No, I’ve... I’d like Hinata to come.” He fumbled his words, frustrated that he felt embarrassed just asking for the redhead. He gave his name and address when prompted.

“Sure! He’s here now! I can send him over to you in about half an hour, Ushijima-san.”

Wakatoshi cringed at his debatably bad decision calling and the way she said his name like he was so perfectly wonderful. “Sorry,” he murmured as he hung up, shame swelling inside his body. He sat very still for exactly 34 minutes, until his doorbell rang and now he had to face the consequences of his actions. He stood up with his head low and shuffled to his front door.

“Ushijima-san!” greeted a cheerful redhead, smile big and wide. “You called for me again!”

“Yes, and sorry,” murmured Wakatoshi as he bowed his head lower, Hinata laughing in confusion. 

“It’s okay!” he said, a note of bafflement in his tone. After a moment of silence, “Why are you apologizing?”

Instead of answering right away, Wakatoshi held his door open and bid Hinata to come inside. Once the door was shut and Hinata had his shoes off, Wakatoshi looked to the side and murmured, “I called you here just two days ago.”

“So?” giggled Hinata, smiling bright with relief to realize it wasn’t anything but Wakatoshi being silly. He skipped to the couch and called Wakatoshi over with a wave of his hand. When the man was seated stiffly next to him, Hinata laughed again. “You’re thinking too much about it! There are people who have contracts with us for someone to come every night. If it’s what you need, then we want to provide it for you.”

Wakatoshi’s cheeks pinked up a little, and he turned to look at Hinata from the corner of his eye. He still wasn’t sure if this was really okay, but when Hinata snuggled back up to his side again and asked if he wanted the same as last time, he hummed in quiet acceptance. His arm slid easier around Hinata this time, and his body relaxed a little quicker, though the worries he harbored in his mind about this whole thing lingered. 

After a while, Hinata looked up with a small frown. “You’re still stiff. What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” Wakatoshi said, knee-jerk reaction, and Hinata shook his head. 

“I’m here to help you relax, so please stop worrying for at least a little bit. Unless I’m doing something wrong?”

“No,” choked Wakatoshi. He cleared his throat, going a little red, and repeated, “No.”

He shocked when a hand began to rub over his chest, his button-up shirt pulling a little this way and that. Hinata was slowly petting circles on his pectorals, and as deprecating as Wakatoshi might have thought it was from anyone else, he felt himself slowly relax under Hinata’s hand. 

“You’re good at this,” Wakatoshi murmured sleepily. Hinata smiled proudly against his chest. _Too good_ , he thought, but he didn’t say that aloud. 

The hour was over too fast. Soon Hinata was collecting himself off the couch and gathering his things. He offered again to extend, but Wakatoshi silently shook his head as he watched Hinata go from the spot he’d sank into in his couch. He couldn’t bring himself to move, but Hinata assured the man he could see himself out, and Wakatoshi just watched him go with an unsettling disquiet in his soul. It took him fifteen minutes to pull himself up from the couch, and by then Hinata’s warmth was already fading. He silently locked up his house and dressed for bed. Sleep came to him easily, but in the morning he felt a loneliness he’d never acknowledged before. He stared for a long time at his alarm clock, across his big, empty bed. 

Work ate him alive, and he barely even had time to think for himself, and yet Hinata was constantly there in the back of his mind. Not like he had the time or energy to figure out why aside from that fact that Hinata was the only thing that could get him to settle down and find peace. When his mother called, he actually gave her some time to look over the profile of a new girl she’d sent over, though still letting it go without answer for now. 

x

“Ah, Ushijima-san! It’s been a little while. Would you like to request Hinata again?”

Wakatoshi found it a little unsettling that the girl on the other end of the line knew who he was by now. This was only the third time he’d called in, but as soon as he said his name, she recognized it. And it really hadn’t been that long, had it? Today was Wednesday again, the first time in a while since Wakatoshi had come up for air. Even his Sunday had been claimed by his mother, and so he’d gotten no rest for a whole week. 

“Yes,” he murmured, heat rising to his cheeks again, but if the girl on the other end noticed his tone of voice, she didn’t comment. 

“He should be back soon from his last client, and I’ll send him over as soon as he gets back!”

“Ahh... Whenever... is fine,” he whispered, though his mind was screaming that the sooner the better. The girl on the other end laughed like she could see right through him. 

“Would you like Hinata to let you know when he’s on his way?”

“N-“ Wakatoshi started to say without thinking, but he paused for long enough, making the girl giggle again. 

“I’ll make a note to have him contact you.” And with that, she hung up, and Wakatoshi was left with a warring mind. He ate his dinner and paced his apartment. He should just start calling in the car, or maybe set up a contract like Hinata had mentioned before. That’s what half of his brain was telling him, the other half reminding him over and over of the shame, of the fact that this was just temporary and not actually a true solution. He was just placating himself, and foolishly so, he told himself. And yet, still, he would have never guessed cuddling would do it for him, but here he was, shamefully and yet undeniable attached to the act. 

His phone buzzed in hand, Wakatoshi too distracted by his thoughts to even look at it. By the time Hinata got to him, Wakatoshi’s mind was a mess, and he pulled Hinata quietly inside, very impatient as shoes were removed. Hinata turned to give a greeting but Wakatoshi was already walking to the couch, expecting Hinata to just follow him. He sat down heavily, right arm raised and Hinata smiled sweetly as he curled into the spot created for him. 

“Hello to you too,” he murmured to Wakatoshi as he pressed his head to the man’s chest. Wakatoshi grunted out a rough reply, and Hinata giggled. He sobered after a moment and asked quietly, “It’s been a while; bad week?”

Wakatoshi grunted again, not really wanting to talk about it, just wanting his body to hurry up and relax. Hinata was so warm against his side. His small body was a perfect fit against Wakatoshi’s. He was slowly sinking into the couch, Hinata a wonderful, quiet presence beside him. Finally, his mind was slowing down after a whole week of running and lack of sleep. He slowly let his head roll to the side, staring silently at a mess of red hair, at a swirl on top of Hinata’s head and peeks of freckles even there amidst wild hair. He felt the need suddenly to touch a dark, apparent freckle, but his arms were heavy and his breath was coming slower. 

Ushijima was never sure about this whole thing until he had Hinata in his arms. He wasn’t even sure how to describe the feeling, but it felt more like home with Hinata glued to his side than his actual home. When Wakatoshi sighed wearily, the last of his daily worries sliding away, Hinata glanced up with his big eyes and smiled cautiously. 

“If you ever need to talk-“

Wakatoshi gave a tired smile, eyes shutting, realizing that even Hinata’s voice was soothing to him. “Just tell me about yourself,” he murmured without much thought, but Hinata smiled a little bigger and snuggled closer. 

“Hmm, let’s see! I’m in my second year of college now, and more than anything I want to be a vet! I hate English and history, but luckily this semester is the last time I have to take those classes.” Hinata giggled, and Wakatoshi found himself mindlessly smiling. “Let’s see... I love pork curry buns and spicy ramen the most, and broccoli is the only veggie I can force myself to eat. I love video games...”

Wakatoshi glanced at his tv console, at the systems he’d bought over the years and the games, and he recalled mildly that he’d also really enjoyed video games at one point. The more Hinata talked, the more he remembered the ease of being that age, when college courses were the hardest thing to deal with, when he’d come home and just play games until the early morning hours. Back then, he’d known how to relax by himself, had known how to shut his brain off, but either age or his work environment had pulled the knowledge from his mind. Hinata had gone quiet a little while ago, and so Wakatoshi asked, without really knowing why, “Do you think it’s shameful for a man like me to need something like this to relax?”

Hinata’s head tilted back, craning to see Wakatoshi’s face. His freckles were so pretty against pale skin, and Wakatoshi started counting them silently, eyes following a path like stars in the sky, trying to find the Big Dipper or the answer to life’s questions. “No, why would I?”

“I fear it’s very shameful,” Wakatoshi said quickly. 

“Is that why you’re always apologizing?”

“Sorry-“

Hinata laughed, raising bright eyebrows, and Wakatoshi pressed his lips together. 

“Instead of apologizing, you should ask for things you want without shame. People like it when men like you are confident and speak their mind.”

People? Wakatoshi wondered if it was his imagination that Hinata’s voice caught on that word. Were his cheeks a little pinker too? He dismissed it as the heat from their two bodies.

“I think I leave much to be desired as a man,” Wakatoshi murmured as he shifted his eyes up, thinking of all the women who had quietly rejected him or left him when discovering how he truly was. He was big, sure, and mean; he’d never been good with words or telling people how he felt. 

“There’s always room for improvement!” Hinata encouraged, smiling big against Wakatoshi’s chest. “Maybe you can try asking for one selfish thing a day, even if it’s small.”

Wakatoshi frowned, already feeling the weight of just the idea too much for him. Hinata laughed when he saw the expression on the tall man’s face. 

“You can always start with me.”

“You are already my selfish request,” Wakatoshi murmured, not realizing how it sounded and wondering why Hinata was suddenly hiding his face, why his ears were going red. 

“You can ask for more than that,” Hinata choked out, though Wakatoshi highly doubted he could even ask for this much sometimes. Even if Hinata said he should, what was he supposed to ask for? What did he want? Peace, rest, quiet. These were things that he couldn’t ask for from another person, he thought. 

Silence fell again and Hinata slowly uncurled, pressing closer again to Wakatoshi’s side. He automatically tightened his arm around the smaller male, his mind pleasantly thoughtless. 

“You can take your time and ask anything whenever you’d like,” Hinata whispered just as he pulled away, just as his hour was up. Wakatoshi watched him as Hinata quietly sat for a moment, not moving either. Was Hinata waiting for him to ask something? What was his option at this point again? Brown eyes met his own and Wakatoshi gave the other a goofy, mindless smile, one that made Hinata giggle. He jumped up and ran to his shoes, Wakatoshi following slowly behind this time. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, watching over the smaller male. Big brown eyes followed the line of his body up, watching him with a slight blush to his cheeks. He stood once his shoes were on, quiet as he folded his hands, like he was waiting for the words to say. 

“You can call for me any time. Please don’t feel shameful about it at all. Or someone else... if you prefer-“ he stopped, looked to the side. “I enjoy spending the time with you-“ he whispered under his breath, and Wakatoshi blinked down at his mess of curls, at his freckles highlighted by red now. 

“I’m sorry for burdening you with my worries. I will try to sort them out myself-“

“No, that’s what I’m here for! Any worries you have, you can always...” Brown eyes darted up, so big and wide and glistening that Wakatoshi’s last working brain cell bid him farewell. Hinata’s lips pressed together, and instead of finishing his sentence, he just smiled. 

“Anyways!” he yelped as he pulled his buzzing phone out, glancing at it before turning to the door like suddenly he wanted to disappear. Wakatoshi noted his ears were red again, wondered if he should bring it up as a health concern, but Hinata was gone before he could think of how to phrase it. 

x

Wakatoshi felt like his eyes were crossing as he stared at the papers before him, stress piling up on top of stress until even his vision was affected. He stood up from his desk with a clatter when he couldn’t take it anymore, mumbling to his assistant as he marched himself gloomily to the break room, where he pressed his head to the drink machine and tried to find his land legs again, head swimming. 

“Ah! Ushijima-san!”

Slowly, the brunet turned his head to look to his right, someone familiar standing watching him with an amused smile. 

“Did you not take my advice?”

Wakatoshi pushed himself off the machine he was using as his main support and looked a little closer at the co-worker before him. “Oh!” he hushed when he finally placed him. It was the man who’d given him the business card for Cuddle Bunnies. Wakatoshi went suddenly very still, and the man before him tossed his head back and laughed. 

“It’s great, isn’t it? Did you call for Hinata, too?”

Wakatoshi’s lips pulled down into a confused frown, wondering why the fact that this man mentioned Hinata by name was making his stomach knot up. 

“Ah, Hinata is wonderful, isn’t he? He’s always so kind, and tiny, which makes him perfect-“

Wakatoshi didn’t even register that his fist was flying out until he heard the crack of it against the drink machine beside him, didn’t really even know it was him until he felt the pain of it. The man before him went quiet, eyes wide but still smiling like he was trying to hold back a laugh. As if this was a comedy show, a can clinked out of the machine and dropped into the opening. Wakatoshi turned dumbly, and then bent to pick it up. He held it up like this was his excuse. “Sorry,” he murmured. 

“Well, make sure you call on Hinata more often if you’re still feeling this stressed,” advised the co-worker with a smile, his hand sliding off Wakatoshi’s shoulder as he walked past. Wakatoshi clenched at the drink in his hand and tried to remember where he was and who he was. He never thought he’d been so angry before in his whole life, but when he glanced to the side, he saw the way the front of the drink machine bent in a little from his fist. It didn’t really connect that he’d done that, much less the reason why. Slowly, he walked himself out, frowning. He drank the cool drink that he would usually never touch with a ten foot pole and slugged through the rest of his work day. At 8:59, he went home. 

x

His apartment was quiet as always when he opened the door, but today it unsettled him even further. The whole ride home had left him feeling like something was wrong, like he’d forgotten something important, but he couldn’t place his finger on it. Now, the silence ate at him too. 

He pulled off his shoes and hung up his coat as always, pulling his laptop out of his bag and setting it on the dining room table. He doubted he’d be able to get any more work done tonight, but the intention was there somewhere. At least he could appease himself by saying he’d tried. He dug for a take-out menu and called his favorite Chinese restaurant to treat himself. And when he’d sat down at the table with a glass and bottle of wine, he called Cuddle Bunnies to treat himself again. 

“Thank you for calling Cuddle Bunnies! How may we assist you today?”

“This is Ushijima Wakatoshi. Could I have Hinata come tonight?” Wakatoshi was too tired to beat around the bush tonight. 

There was a slight pause that surprised him, and he slowly sat up straighter. 

“Ah, actually, Ushijima-san, Hinata isn’t working tonight. I’m very sorry.”

Wakatoshi let those words settle over him, tried to process them. Of course that made sense. Hinata was a college student, and more than that, a human being; of course he couldn’t work every day. Still, Wakatoshi hadn’t ever considered this would be a problem to arise. “Oh,” he murmured, not sure what else to say. He was about to hang up without another word when the girl spoke again. 

“If you don’t mind, we could send someone else over for you! All of our Cuddle Bunnies are top rate, and we could even match someone to the same size as Hinata if you’d like.”

Wakatoshi stared at the wall before him, trying to comprehend someone else coming over to cuddle him. It wasn’t like it wasn’t a good alternative, especially after the day Wakatoshi had had, but something kept him silent. A voice whispered softly in his head. 

“No, thank you,” he said to the girl instead, hanging up with that as his greeting. He looked down at his hands, looked over at the empty couch. 

He wondered why it had felt so wrong to think of someone else instead of Hinata coming. They were all just doing a job, after all, but for some reason... for Wakatoshi, it could only be Hinata.

He scrubbed at his face and stood up from the dinning room table. Taking his bottle and glass with him, he dusted off his favorite gaming system and stuck in a game he’d played over and over again back in the day. He sank into his couch, alone, only his wine to comfort him as he pondered the reason why it had to be Hinata, and why he missed him so much even now. 

Not for the job he did, but just for... Hinata.

x

Wakatoshi thought he was going crazy. He lay staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, dead tired but far too stressed to sleep at all. Everything was piling up at once: a big project due, another omiai his mother was trying to rope him into, and all Wakatoshi could think about was cuddling a tiny, little body to his own. His side felt cold, his bed empty. Well, it had always been empty, but now he felt it. He rolled over and looked at the clock. There was just no way; it was nearly 1 in the morning. He rolled back and ignored the deep need to grab his phone and call just to make sure they weren’t open. He begged his mind to shut off. 

When it became too much, he sat up with an angry huff, grabbing blindly for his phone and pressing into his recent calls. It was right there at the top, of course it was, but even as he dialed it, he didn’t expect much. He pressed the phone to his ear anyways and listened to the line ring and ring. When an answering machine clicked on, telling Wakatoshi what he’d already guessed, he hung up and tossed his phone down, angry even if he’d known the cuddle agency would be closed this late. 

If only he had Hinata’s number! He scrambled out of bed and raced to his kitchen in the dark, searching blindly for the business card. He turned on a bright light and searched with a frenzy that made him feel crazy. When he got his hands on it, he flipped it over, not sure why he was expecting there to suddenly be new information on the card. But the back was blank, and on the front was only Hinata’s signature, that little note and that tiny heart he’d drawn for someone else. Wakatoshi sank to the floor, so frustrated that he wanted to yell into the silence. 

“What has happened to me?” he begged the silence, but the silence did not respond. He sank against his kitchen counter and thought that all he wanted was to just sleep through tonight, and tomorrow he could see Hinata. 

The hours passed slowly and finally Wakatoshi scraped himself off the floor to get ready for work. He stood and stared blearily at his empty apartment, trying to remember the words Hinata had told him. What was it again? To be selfish? Selfish Wakatoshi wanted to call out of work, to know Hinata’s number and demand him to come, but reality wasn’t so kind as to let him do those things. Wakatoshi trudged to his bathroom and hoped that maybe a cool shower would do what eight hours of sleep should have.


	2. Chapter 2

“Thank you for calling Cuddle Bunnies, how can we-“

“Is Hinata working tonight?” Wakatoshi was somewhere beyond the normal realm, beyond tired and beyond aggravated and feeling very out of place in his own body. He’d felt useless all day, a robot going through specific motions, his brain feeling like mush. Even now, his rude behavior and the words he said felt like someone else was controlling his body. 

“Uh- Yes,” the girl on the other end choked in surprise and then quickly pulled her cheerful attitude back. “Would you like me to send him over, sir?”

“Yes,” Wakatoshi murmured out as relief flooded through him, the first time he’d felt semi-normal in days. “Please,” he added, his manners coming back slowly. 

“Your name, sir?”

“Ushijima.”

“Ah, Ushijima-san, of course!” There was a pause and what sounded like a hand over the mic of the phone. Muffled voices sounded, and Wakatoshi blinked at the wall behind his tv. What had she meant by “Of course”? When she came back, she was still as cheery as ever. 

“Is there a problem?” he asked slowly. 

“Not at all!” she assured him. “Hinata just walked past, and I relayed the message that you wanted to request him again.”

Wakatoshi’s whole face flared red, and he just stared at the wall before him in dead silence. The girl on the other end told him Hinata would be over in 30 minutes, the usual rigamarole, and then she bid him a good evening. Wakatoshi slowly lowered his phone and looked at the time. 

30 minutes. A surge of something rushed through his body and suddenly he felt renewed, like he could try again. He had time to order dinner and take a quick shower. He called the first take-out place on his phone as he marched himself to his bathroom, excitement in his veins like electricity, and he couldn’t sit still a moment longer. He smacked the faucet in his shower onto the highest heat and peeled his clothes from work off, stepping in after he’d placed his usual food order. Fifteen minutes later, he was pulling on jeans and his favorite burgundy long sleeve shirt, making sure his teeth were brushed and hair was mildly tamed. He usually gelled it back, but he let it dry down today, moving back into his living space to clean up the minimal mess he found there. 

When the doorbell rang, Wakatoshi grabbed his wallet and marched himself to his entry way, pulling his door open with gusto. A tiny voice squeaked out in surprise, and Wakatoshi found himself staring down at Hinata with a steaming, brown paper bag in his arms, offered up as sacrifice. 

“I met the delivery guy downstairs and told him I’d bring your food up!” the tiny redhead explained in a high voice, his eyes wide and stuck on Wakatoshi. 

“The tip...” murmured Wakatoshi, still caught off guard that it was Hinata at his door and not the delivery man like he’d expected. 

“Ah, I paid him-“

Wakatoshi pushed his door open and rushed forward to collect Hinata and food into his arms, rushing him inside with something akin to the craziness he’d felt the other night coursing through his veins. He locked his door behind them and carried Hinata inside, bridal style. A few steps inside, he pulled Hinata’s shoes off for him and set him down by the dining room table, where he silently took the food from the small male and grabbed two plates to make. 

“I got enough food for you, too,” Wakatoshi said calmly, while his mind was frantically trying to figure out why he’d carried Hinata in like that, as he scooped food into small heaps on the plates. “I’ll pay you back for the tip, too, but I don’t have cash on me right now.”

“You don’t have to,” whispered a tiny voice, Hinata absolutely silent until then. Wakatoshi stopped, fork in hand and finally looked over at his guest. Hinata looked a little pale, staring with giant brown eyes like he didn’t recognize Wakatoshi at all. 

“What’s wrong?” Wakatoshi asked suddenly as he straightened up, an awkward concern brewing up inside. 

“No-“ squeaked Hinata, hands up and shaking as he tried to smile. “Nothing.” A beat of silence passed between them, and Wakatoshi was really starting to worry when Hinata began to laugh. He sank down to a squat, his laugh vibrating through Wakatoshi’s dead apartment. Wakatoshi felt it rush over his soul like new life, and slowly he set his fork down on a plate, moving to stand before Hinata, unsure of what to do. Awkwardly, he squatted down before him. When Hinata finally calmed down and looked up, his eyes were glistening and his cheeks flushed, a big smile on his lips. “I didn’t think you could look so... normal.”

Wakatoshi’s head jerked down to look at his shirt and jeans, his bangs slipping over his forehead. He self-consciously pushed them back, unsure whether looking normal was a good thing or not, or the insinuation that Hinata hadn’t thought he was normal before. 

“I just meant,” whispered Hinata happily, “that you surprised me looking so casual and... soft...” The last word was barely audible, Wakatoshi looking up to catch Hinata go red again. This time, he thought to bring it up. 

“Hinata, your face is very red.”

Hinata’s eyes bugged wide, smile slipping a little and his face went somehow even redder. Wakatoshi leaned forward, very concerned now as he put a hand against Hinata’s forehead, checking his temperature like he knew what he was doing at all. 

“You feel a little warm-“

“Damn it, Ushijima-san...” grumbled Hinata in wild embarrassment, looking up again with wet eyes, almost pleading, and Wakatoshi pulled his hand away, concerned he’d done something wrong. “I’m just happy to see you,” murmured the redhead as he slowly stood, Wakatoshi following his cue stiffly. Hinata looked up at him for a brief moment, then to the food on the kitchen counter. “You really didn’t have to get me food...”

“I...” Wakatoshi wasn’t even sure when he’d been ordering why he’d ordered a double portion, but it had felt like such a natural instinct. Maybe... had he been hoping it would make Hinata get here faster? He looked over the small redhead, trying to figure out why Hinata’s presence was so... balming. Instead of trying to put the feelings he didn’t even understand into words, he grabbed the plates and walked them to the living room, turning back to go fetch Hinata only to find him standing just behind Wakatoshi, shyly looking at the ground with a soft smile. Again, Wakatoshi’s body moved before he could decide what he wanted to do, sweeping Hinata up again and sitting both of their bodies down on the couch together. While Wakatoshi had struggled all of his life with asking for things, Hinata made being selfish feel... easy. Wakatoshi wrapped an arm around the redhead as brown eyes finally turned up to look at him. 

“I missed you,” explained Wakatoshi like it wasn’t a big deal, though it certainly felt like a very huge deal. He’d barely functioned the last few days. 

Hinata pressed his lips together to hide a tremble in them, nodding his head. “I missed you too, actually,” he said with a laugh. “I heard you called the other night when I was off-“

“Yes, and last night as well after your agency was closed.” Wakatoshi didn’t know why he was spilling his secrets like that, but he wasn’t ashamed of them in the face of Hinata’s beautiful smile. 

“Oh,” giggled Hinata, smiling brightly again. He looked down at the food on the coffee table and then back up at Wakatoshi. “You look less stressed than you usually do.”

Wakatoshi shook his head. “I’ve never been more stressed in my life.”

“Then...” Hinata asked with wide eyes as he reached up slowly and tugged softly at Wakatoshi’s shirt. 

“Ah...” murmured Wakatoshi, leaning back and pulling Hinata to his chest. “The thought of getting to see you gave me a peace of mind I haven’t had in ages.”

Hinata felt warm against his side, and Wakatoshi found himself selfishly thinking that this was the best place for Hinata to be. The hand curled into his shirt gripped a little tighter, and Hinata snuggled his face to hide it against the man’s chest, Wakatoshi completely unaware of what his words were doing to poor Hinata. 

“We should eat,” murmured Wakatoshi almost sadly when his stomach began to grumble, pulling back to the edge of the couch, Hinata in his arms. The redhead uncurled himself slowly from Wakatoshi’s side and picked his plate up. He took a big bite, Wakatoshi watching in satisfaction, before he grabbed his own plate up. They ate in silence, brown eyes often slipping big to Wakatoshi’s face to watch him. When Hinata was done with his portion, he set his plate back on the table, shifting and folding his legs under himself as he faced the brunet. 

“You shocked me with how handsome you look,” Hinata said, breaking the peaceful silence around them with his soft voice. Wakatoshi looked over in surprise, just now noticing that Hinata had been watching him. He wiped a hand self-consciously over his mouth. “I mean, you always look handsome-!”

Before his eyes, Wakatoshi watched as Hinata’s words caught up to him and how he suddenly flared red. Wakatoshi set his fork down and reached up once again in concern, but Hinata sat up straighter and declared, “I’m not sick, just embarrassed!”

Wakatoshi froze, hand in mid-air, trying to process this new information. “Why?” he asked dumbly as his hand fell away, disappointed for who knows what reason, fingers tingling. 

Hinata looked at him with big, brown eyes, silent, like this was something Wakatoshi should know or figure out by himself. The brunet frowned, and Hinata pulled his own lips up into a smile, fondness so warm and soft in his gaze. 

“Anyways,” huffed Wakatoshi, turning away, now embarrassed himself. “I’m sorry you had to see me dressed so casually-“

“I’m telling you it’s fine,” grinned Hinata as he leaned into Wakatoshi’s line of sight. “I’m glad you’re able to relax around me, Ushijima-san.”

Wakatoshi silently finished the last few bites on his plate and then set his atop Hinata’s empty one. Slowly, he sat back again, watching Hinata, who sat smiling at the edge of the couch. 

“Hinata,” Wakatoshi called, pretty brown eyes snapping to his face. “I want to try it... like you said I should.” Confusion knitted Hinata’s brows. 

“Being selfish,” Wakatoshi explained, scratching at his chin, embarrassed again. He looked away and therefore only heard Hinata’s soft inhale of air. 

“You can ask me anything you want, Ushijima-san!” rushed an eager Hinata, shuffling closer to the man. 

Silently, Wakatoshi raised his arm and waited, eyes averted still as his face went from pink to red. Hinata blinked at him, confused, or waiting. Even when Wakatoshi stubbornly waved his hand at Hinata, the other stayed where he was. Wakatoshi’s head snapped back to Hinata, annoyed until he saw the very wide, hopeful look in Hinata’s eyes, like the small redhead was close to tears again. 

“Come here... please...” Wakatoshi murmured as something like emotion prickled up his throat, making his voice thick. 

“Yes!” hushed Hinata as he moved very fast now, curling under Wakatoshi’s arms and against his side. Wakatoshi tried to act annoyed as he pulled Hinata’s legs over his own and grabbed him tight, pulling him closer. When he pulled Hinata’s face to his chest, it was only to hide the way Wakatoshi’s face went wonky for a minute, red and smiling wobbly. 

“You should know by now that this is what I want,” he murmured like he was still annoyed, and Hinata was surprisingly quiet in response.

“I thought you should say it,” Hinata finally whispered, though it should have been something more like, _I wanted to hear you say it_. 

Wakatoshi sank back against the couch, every worry and stress leaving him be for a very small moment as he let Hinata’s warmth seep into him. He shut his eyes and wished he could have this all the time, at any time. He wasn’t sure what that was called, how to ask for it, but it had become something clawing and raw the more Wakatoshi had spent time alone. It didn’t feel like something one of the women his mom was trying to set him up with could fix. It felt like something only Hinata could solve, but what was that feeling called? Wakatoshi sighed and pulled Hinata closer, craving the warmth and peace Hinata freely gave. Hinata felt more and more like Wakatoshi’s sanity, and without the redhead by his side, he was beginning to feel more and more lost. He didn’t think it healthy, but he’d never lived a healthy lifestyle anyways, not when it came to his work or personal life. Still, Hinata felt like a selfishness he wasn’t sure he could ask for, and yet, how could he do without? 

As the hour began to end, Hinata reluctantly pulling himself away, Wakatoshi felt something rising up, something visceral and angry. He didn’t even look at Hinata as he pulled the redhead back to his side, as he murmured with a red face, “If you don’t have anywhere else to go, let me extend the time.” 

Hinata had never gone so soft and gooey against Wakatoshi’s side, hugging closer to the man. “Of course,” he whispered in a voice so happy that it was trembling. “Thank you.”

Wakatoshi sighed, still staring at the ceiling like a child; if he couldn’t see Hinata, Hinata couldn’t see how red his face was. “I should be the one thanking you.”

“How much more time would you like?” Hinata asked him. 

_All the time in the world_ , but Wakatoshi didn’t say that. He didn’t say anything at all, because giving this thing a time limit felt soul crushing. Hinata accepted his silence and snuggled closer. Silence hugged around them again, warm and peaceful. Wakatoshi wrapped his other arm around Hinata as well and turned a little towards him. Selfish requests rushed through his head one after the other, but he’d already voiced two today, though all in all, they weren’t that crazy. 

Hinata’s hand slowly relaxed in his shirt and began petting softly over Wakatoshi’s chest, and Wakatoshi felt his lids grow heavy, begged himself to stay awake to savor every moment. All too soon, another hour was up, Hinata’s phone buzzing on the coffee table. Very slowly, like taffy pulling apart, Hinata pulled himself out of Wakatoshi’s arms. The other watched him go with so many warring emotions. He stood stiffly and followed Hinata to the entryway. In his mind formed the question he wanted to ask most of all, for Hinata’s number, but he swallowed the words and just let Hinata go in silence. 

At the door, the redhead turned back and smiled sweetly. “Thank you for dinner, Ushijima-san. I hope you’ll call for me again soon.” He paused, hand on the doorknob like he really, really didn’t want to go. Wakatoshi didn’t want him to, either, but he didn’t say a word as the other just nodded quietly and exited the apartment. 

Wakatoshi felt instantly lonely. He wrung his hands together where he stood. 

He ached for Hinata. 

x

Wakatoshi straightened the slippers again for the millionth time. He’d been worried about them since this morning. He wasn’t even sure what had compelled him to stop at the small shop by his work, but with only a vague idea, he’d found slippers that had called to him, and now he was trying to figure out, obsessing really, where to put them so they’d be seen without mention, to have them be neat and not in the way, but visible. If Hinata didn’t notice, Wakatoshi would be so sad, but yet he wasn’t sure if he could point them out either. His face flared even at the thought of it, and he sat somberly in his front entryway, wondering how he’d gotten to this point. 

He really... enjoyed Hinata. Time with the redhead seemed to never be enough. Maybe he should ask about doing a contract, but something held Wakatoshi back. Was it because he selfishly wanted Hinata to like coming to his place, to not be forced because of pen and paper? Well, he was still paying for a service, but Wakatoshi thought somehow better of it this way with no express requirements to be met. And yet, he wanted to see Hinata every day, all the time, to know he’d be there whenever. 

He stood up in a rush and moved into the kitchen, staring next at the ingredients on the counter. Once upon a time, a long while ago in college, he’d learned how to make simple dishes for himself, and he’d been fairly adapt at it. All that had been pushed to the wayside when he’d started working, however, no time or energy at all anymore. It wasn’t like he didn’t like cooking, it just felt lonely when it was dinners made only for him. 

Hinata would be coming soon, so Wakatoshi set some water to boil and pulled out a sauce pan for his tomato sauce and sausage. Pasta was one of the easiest and yummiest dishes he could make, and he figured the least likely to make wrong. He hoped Hinata wouldn’t eat before he came, but there was no way to ask the girl on the other end about it when they assumed Hinata was just coming over to cuddle. Wakatoshi wondered if he was breaking some kind of rule by doing this, but it had been so long since he’d wanted to cook, or been able to eat with anyone, and Hinata was so cute- Wakatoshi shook his head and added oil and salt to his boiling water, pasta tossed in next and a timer set. 

He was in the middle of draining his noodles when the doorbell rang, catching him so off guard that he yelled, “The door is open!”, not sure what else to do when his hands were full and he was dealing with scalding water. 

Still, the front door opened and Hinata called out, “I’m coming in!” Wakatoshi felt a thrill down his spine, a smile tugging shyly at his lips. The door shut again and Wakatoshi set his pot down, waiting for Hinata to appear or say something else. The entryway, however, was silent, and Wakatoshi felt his feet move a little faster the closer he got. He stopped and stared wide eyed at the crown of Hinata’s head, trying to make sense of what was happening. Hinata was staring at the ground before him, deathly quiet. 

“I made dinner-“ Wakatoshi tried cautiously, wondering if maybe something was wrong. “Ah, I mean... welcome. Come in... Hinata?”

The smile on his face was gone, and worry began to creep up his spine the longer the silence stretched. Finally, Hinata whispered, “Are these for me, Ushijima-san?”

Wakatoshi blinked, confused, trying to find the context he needed. His eyes darted down and suddenly he remembered the slippers he’d bought, a soft orange color with little round birds embroidered on the top. He shuffled in his own slippers, wondering if he’d overstepped, buying Hinata house slippers for his place. “Yes,” he squeaked out. “If you’d like to, that is-“

Hinata sank down to the floor in a squat so fast that Wakatoshi swore he’d fainted. “Hinata!” he yelped and he crouched down too, reaching out in case Hinata might topple over. His face was hidden in his knees, arms hugging around his legs. His ears were nearly invisible, the same color almost as his hair in shadows. “You didn’t have to...” squeaked a tiny voice, and Wakatoshi relaxed against the floor in a heap of bundled nerves. 

When Hinata looked up, his whole face was red, freckles shinning so pretty, his eyes wet. Wakatoshi had to hold himself back from hugging the tiny redhead in an effort to awkwardly comfort, still unsure if he’d done the right or the wrong thing. “You don’t have to use them-“

His words fell away as light lips caressed over his cheek, and the two of them froze like neither had expected it, Hinata leaned forward but in a daze, Wakatoshi stiff with surprise. The redhead lingered for a beat in the kiss before rushing back, face red as can be as Wakatoshi stared at him with wide eyes. Hinata stood up suddenly, pushing his shoes off with his toes in a hurry, shuffling into the slippers waiting for him, before he beamed, lips wobbly in embarrassment, down at Wakatoshi. “Silly, of course I’ll use them! They’re perfect!” Wakatoshi didn’t think it was his imagination this time when Hinata’s voice broke on the last word. 

The feel of the kiss lingered on his cheek, but still Wakatoshi’s shoulders relaxed and he sighed out deeply, not even aware until now how worried he’d been about the darn slippers. He thought it better for both of them if he didn’t mention or ask about the kiss. Slowly, he stood, trying to inconspicuously look Hinata over, examine his new slippers on small feet. “Well.. welcome,” he murmured quietly, scratching at his scalp, unsure of what to do anymore. “I made dinner,” he said again, and suddenly Hinata was crying and laughing, and Wakatoshi felt really out of his element. 

“You don’t have to make me dinner! And get me slippers-“ Hinata shuffled in his new footwear and glanced to the side. “I’ll start to think unnecessary thoughts...”

“Well...” Wakatoshi began, but he really didn’t know what to say about it. He scratched at his scalp again, looking towards the kitchen. “I mean, I have to eat anyways so-“

Hinata laughed again, an adorable, wobbly sound, tears still wetting his cheeks as he hopped up the small step into the house, a little bit closer to Wakatoshi’s height now. “I’m grateful,” he whispered happily, smiling brightly. Wakatoshi found himself caught, staring and nodding dumbly. Stiffly, he turned back to the kitchen to make plates, Hinata following him diligently. 

“Can I help?” Hinata peeked around the taller man at the pots on the stove, glancing around the kitchen. 

Wakatoshi knew the polite thing to say was that Hinata was a guest and shouldn’t worry about it, but by the time it took him to decide on whether to say that or not, Hinata was already opening cabinet doors in search of plates and pulling two out to set them on the counter by the stove. He beamed brightly and Wakatoshi didn’t have the strength anymore to tell the other to go sit. He looked down at the tiny human bouncing next to him, trying to peek into the pots, and found himself thinking this wasn’t so bad... With a blink, he turned to the stove, wondering where his mind had been trying to lead him. It felt warm and pleasant, but the thoughts were gone in a flash. He straightened his spine with a cough and began to dish out the noodles and sauce, Hinata telling him, “A little more, a little more,” until his plate was fuller than Wakatoshi’s.

“Will you eat all that?” Wakatoshi asked, skeptical, but Hinata was already searching for forks in the drawers, humming happily. Wakatoshi watched as he zipped back to his steaming plate with two forks in hand and took a big bite right then and there, like he couldn’t wait at all. With a mouthful, he turned to Wakatoshi with big eyes, smiling so big it had to hurt. There was sauce on his lips, and for a split second, Wakatoshi thought of wiping it off, sanity fled for a brief moment. When Hinata giggled, he was thankfully brought back to reality, realizing with a start how... inappropriate that would have been. He turned and pulled free a sheet of paper towel, handing it over while his face was still turned, cheeks warm. 

“It’s so yummy!” Hinata gushed behind Wakatoshi, the scrape of the fork against the plate as Hinata took another bite. He hummed pleasantly, Wakatoshi’s whole face flushed now. 

“Do you wanna eat on the couch again?” Hinata asked him around a mouthful of food, Wakatoshi turned to his own plate again quietly. Hinata was too endearing for words, even with his mouth stuffed full and talking around noodles and meat. 

“Yes,” Wakatoshi choked out, trying to remember how to be a man. He picked up both his and Hinata’s plates and walked their food to his coffee table, Hinata traipsing behind with a giggle. The smaller male plopped down on the couch as Wakatoshi asked about drinks. 

“Water or tea is fine!” Hinata grinned, already digging in again. 

Wakatoshi pulled out two cans from his fridge, tea for Hinata and a beer for him, thinking he desperately needed it since his brain was deciding to have weird thoughts. By the time he came back, half of Hinata’s plate was gone. “Slow down,” he murmured as he sat, staring at Hinata in awe. 

“It’s so yummy, Ushijima-san! It’s been so long since I’ve had homemade food!” Hinata was almost crying over his pasta, like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. Wakatoshi swallowed his bubbling pride, feeling oddly satisfied with the fact that Hinata of all people was praising him. He turned to his own plate and began to eat quietly, Hinata providing a soundtrack with his hums and innocent compliments. Wakatoshi had finished his whole can of beer ten minutes into their meal, and was debating on another to keep his sanity when Hinata fell back against the couch and sighed so happily. 

“You don’t have to feed me, but I’m so happy I got to try your cooking, Ushijima-san,” murmured a very happy Hinata. When Wakatoshi turned to look at him, he grinned and giggled, rubbing at his belly. Wakatoshi clenched his fist in his lap, thinking maybe he did need another can, his mind racing with thoughts of how cute Hinata was right now. 

He just... really enjoyed Hinata. That was all it was, but then why was his heart beating so fast? Wakatoshi couldn’t logically understand his body and mind; strange things were happening and for goodness sake, it was just... Hinata... Wakatoshi stood in a rush to clear their plates away, grabbing himself another beer while he was at it. He popped it open and took a sip before sinking down beside Hinata again, the redhead now ready and waiting, slippers on the floor as his feet were tucked under him. He was so petite at times, especially when he sat like that, and it made Wakatoshi remember just what their age difference was. He sighed and sank back, Hinata already wiggling under his arm. That warmth was so familiar by now that Wakatoshi’s mind instantly responded, relaxing, thoughts drifting away. He turned his head to lay against the back of the couch, unaware of brown eyes watching him very quietly. 

“How’s work?” Hinata asked after a while, turning his eyes away like he hadn’t been memorizing Wakatoshi’s slack features. 

“You know...” murmured Wakatoshi, tired and content. He teetered somewhere between spilling all of his worries to this tiny human and not saying anything to keep their time together sacred and unblemished. “I don’t want to bog you down with that stuff...”

Hinata nodded, wrinkle lines forming on his forehead that Wakatoshi couldn’t see. 

“How’s school?” Wakatoshi asked instead, not really sure if he cared about the answer or just about hearing Hinata’s voice. No, of course he cared! Hinata’s voice was just... 

“-shijima-san? Ushijima-san?”

Wakatoshi jerked his head up, eyes wide as he looked at Hinata. “You fell asleep,” whispered the other with a quiet smile. He’d been sitting perfectly still since Wakatoshi dozed off, watching. 

“I wouldn’t have woken you up, but my hour’s up, and I didn’t think you’d want to sleep here tonight.”

Wakatoshi swallowed slowly, distinctly upset that he’d missed so much time with Hinata. He grabbed at a slim arm, blinking away tiredness as best as he could, but he was so sleepy. 

“Stay,” he said in his gravelly, sleepy voice. Hinata blinked wide, cheeks going a little pink. “However long I can keep you for, just stay.”

It was probably the sleep and the beer that was making Wakatoshi so honest, but to Hinata, that didn’t matter. He beamed wide, trying to hide his blush by giggling. “You’re getting better at it, Ushijima-san,” he crooned. “Asking for things you want.”

Wakatoshi slowly sat up, his movement slow with sleep, and without a word he pulled Hinata to his chest as a feeling he couldn’t explain filled him up to the brim. He couldn’t believe it, really. Hinata was so small, and very obviously a male, so much younger than him too, and above all, just doing a job, but Wakatoshi had a moment of crystal clear focus as he realized it was already far too late. 

Wakatoshi, at some point, had really, really come to like Hinata. And now the very thought of Hinata leaving in a bit turned his whole world upside down. He didn’t like it; he hated it. 

He was really, really screwed. 

“Just for another hour, at least,” he murmured to Hinata’s hair, which smelled so perfectly sweet, so soft against his nose. He wished he could be truly honest, but that would break this wonderful thing they had going apart. After all, Wakatoshi wasn’t allowed to feel these things for Hinata, according to the very contract he’d eagerly signed. 

Hinata talked to him softly, Wakatoshi making sure to stay awake this time, until their second hour was up and dragging into a third. He wanted to beg Hinata not to go, but he wasn’t allowed to be so selfish. 

He walked Hinata in his slippers back to the front door, seeing the other off once again. Hinata lingered at the door, eyes averted as his mind raced, but in the end, like always, he turned and walked away with only a simple goodbye between them uttered. 

Hinata clenched a hand over his chest, trying to breathe in the cold, winter air, and Wakatoshi dragged himself to his bed, wondering why he’d let Hinata go, neither of them smart enough to recognize the feelings of the other. 

x

Wakatoshi sat stiff and tall, feeling too large for the small room he sat in, a private dining space off of the main restaurant. His watch ticked softly in the silence, and all he could do was wait with a rising sense of _I don’t want to be here_. 

His mother had grown increasingly more insistent that Wakatoshi meet some of the women she was finding for him. Last weekend, the day after Wakatoshi had last seen Hinata, his mother had burst out in tears, saying she would never see grandchildren at this point, and so had guilted Wakatoshi into this date now. “She’s wonderful, darling, you will love her!” his mother had blabbered happily after he’d begrudgingly accepted. He didn’t even know the girl’s name, a teenage stubbornness having risen up when his mother had showed him the girl’s file. It all felt too official for Wakatoshi’s very minimal desire in the whole thing, but the least he could do was try for his mother. Time away from Hinata made him think that not finding someone else would prove detrimental to him, his feelings for Hinata only growing more and more every day with no hope of going anywhere at all. 

Hinata was so young, he was the same sex, but most importantly, he was doing a job, and Wakatoshi had absolutely no right at all to be selfishly falling for him. Even in his wildest daydreams, anything with Hinata would never work, and so he had to try to make himself into a family man, if only for the sake of his mother and his future wife. He had to discard his feelings for Hinata, and he had to do his duty. 

The sliding door slid open to Wakatoshi’s left, and he turned stiffly to find two women in kimonos on their knees, heads bowed. One was the waitress who had seen him to the room, the other lady dressed in a formal kimono, and probably the date he’d been waiting for. A rock settled in his stomach, an impending sense of dread. 

The girl in the formal kimono carefully made her way inside the room, moving to the other side of the table that Wakatoshi sat on. Her head was still bowed as she sat down on the pillow provided, as the waitress offered menus and asked about drinks. Wakatoshi ordered a pot of hot sake, tea for the woman. When the door closed again behind the waitress, the woman finally lifted her head and smiled at Wakatoshi, eyes roaming his face as his own eyes did the same. 

“I’m Yuki,” the woman before him said, and he nodded, awkwardly pulling out a business card as she offered her own across the table. 

“Ushijima Wakatoshi,” he told her, as they exchanged business cards and she nodded gratefully. 

“It’s very nice to meet you,” she bubbled as she looked up at him again with a shine to her eyes. His own answer was less enthusiastic, but still he had to be polite.

“It is nice to meet you as well.”

“Your mother has told me a lot about you, Ushijima-san,” Yuki said with a smile. “You’re a successful businessman in your company, and you worked your way up diligently!”

His mother’s need to brag about her son was sometimes annoying and other times helpful. It kept him from having to “brag” on himself, which he never did. It was especially helpful now, since he felt no desire to speak at all. 

Yuki was pretty, nothing mind-blowing but not unappealing to look at either. She had shiny, thick black hair that was tied back into a bun, and her frame seemed small in her bulky kimono. Wakatoshi tried to find anything about her that he thought interesting, but nothing in her appearance drew him to her, and even as she spoke, nothing could hold his interest. He tried as best he could to listen to her, but his mind kept drifting, to work, to anything else, to Hinata...

When the sake came for him and the tea for Yuki, he swallowed a cup instantly before ordering food for the two of them. Yuki, as a perfect woman should be in these situations, was quiet and let Wakatoshi take care of their food. He found it mildly annoying, though if Hinata had done the same, he didn’t think he’d care. No, it would make him feel prideful. He shook his head, begging his mind to at least behave, but the more he drank, the more boring he found Yuki, and the more his mind drifted to Hinata. By the time dinner was over, Wakatoshi was bored out of his mind and fairly inebriated. When Yuki suggested dessert, he quickly dismissed the idea of it, thinking maybe a round of more alcohol at a bar would set his mind at ease. They walked out of the restaurant together in silence, where Wakatoshi called a cab for Yuki, he himself already trying to find the closest izakaya. 

“It was very nice meeting you,” Yuki was saying, eyes up at Wakatoshi even as he was too drunk to realize he should pay any more attention to her. “Hopefully we can meet again. I really enjoyed our time together tonight and I would love to get to know you-“

Wakatoshi shifted on his feet and Yuki fell to silence as Wakatoshi said, “Your taxi is here.” He pulled the door open for her without another word and she shuffled inside the car in silence while he paid the driver. She rolled down her window in hopes of speaking to Wakatoshi again, but he turned promptly, not even waving over his shoulder as the taxi pulled away. His mind was muddled, hazy from alcohol and his confusing emotions. He shuffled into the closest bar and found a seat inside, ordering a whiskey and a plate of dumplings. He just wanted to forget his worries and his racing thoughts, so he chugged down the first glass the bartender poured for him, immediately requesting another. The bar was quiet, which was fine by Wakatoshi, as he swirled the brown liquid and ice in his glass, trying not to think about a certain redhead. 

He had to be out of his mind to ruin the date as badly as he had, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to even be civilly polite to the woman who’d bored him to tears. And yet it wasn’t like anything would ever work out with Hinata, so maybe his best lot in life really was to just die alone. He rested his forehead on the hand holding the top of his glass and he shut his eyes, so tired of it all. He wished it was easier. He wished he was more selfish, that he wasn’t such a workaholic, that he was just a plain man who didn’t have to worry about status or producing an heir or making anything of himself. If he was those things, he could tell Hinata how he felt, he could hope that Hinata felt the same, and whatever came after that. What would a man like that hope for? A relationship. It felt so disconnected from Wakatoshi’s world that it was hard to even imagine Hinata returning his feelings. 

But Hinata was so kind, and so pretty, and so wonderfully warm and tiny and really, very perfect in Wakatoshi’s eyes. While he had found nothing memorable about Yuki, he could list a million things now about Hinata. It had been a few days since he’d seen the redhead, too, and yet he could perfectly visualize his face, his mannerisms, hear his voice call his name. 

Wakatoshi pulled out his phone, staring blearily at it. He had to get home before he had a breakdown in a bar. He paid his tab and carried himself out of the place with some sort of semblance. He hailed a cab and rode home in silence, steeped in drunken thoughts that only expanded and confused him all the more. By the time he got home, he felt so empty and lonely that he sat in his entryway, trying to just remember what the point of everything was. When all he wanted was to see Hinata, to be with Hinata... 

Very sharply, he suddenly remembered Hinata’s sweet kiss to his cheek, so vivid that his hand raised to his face like it was just a moment ago that the redhead had kissed him. With a blinding heartache, Wakatoshi shed a tear, too drunk and lonely to care that he shouldn’t be crying over a college student. He pulled out his phone, hand still to his cheek to keep the memory of the kiss there, and he dialed without even looking at the time. 

“Thank you for calling Cuddle Bunnies, how may I assist you?”

“This is Ushijima Wakatoshi. Is Hinata working tonight?”

“He is, sir, but our last shift ends in 15 minutes, so-“

Wakatoshi sank against the door behind him, feeling very unprepared, too drunk to think what he should do in this situation. 

“Ushijima-san?”

Wakatoshi frowned, trying to remember how to form the right words. He wanted to see Hinata; that was the only logical response he could come up with, so that was what he said. 

“Could I set you up for a time tomorrow?” the girl on the other end asked sweetly, hopefully unaware that Wakatoshi was drunk out of his mind. “Ushijima-san?” she asked again. 

“No, it has to be tonight,” he murmured just as she called, “Oh, just a moment, sir.”

The microphone on her end was muffled, but Wakatoshi swore he could make out Hinata’s voice on the other end, whether he was dreaming or not. He sighed wearily and hung up, not capable of dealing with the situation any longer. Hinata wasn’t coming. He’d have to pull himself off the floor and deal with that like a fucking adult, but right now, he was sad. 

As he slowly sobered up, he pulled himself off the floor, the smell of alcohol clinging to him. He pulled off his coat and shoes and walked himself slowly to his bathroom to take a shower and wash off the disappointment of today. 

He dried his hair slowly, pulling on a pair of dorm pants, his mind too muddled to feel tired. He thought he’d distract himself with a video game, maybe something to soak up the queasy feeling in his stomach. He put his dirty clothes in the hamper by his bathroom and made his way back out to the living room. 

A knock on the door froze him, actually made him stop dead. Another knock, like maybe they thought the first one hadn’t been loud enough. Wakatoshi tried to run through in his head who it could be. His mother? Yuki? Either way, he should make his way as silently as possible to the door to check through the peephole. 

A third knock, falling off from urgency into timidness, and Wakatoshi felt warmly fond of the sound, like he knew who it belonged it. He could hear the shuffle of feet outside now as he pressed his hand to the cool door, heart hammering very suddenly. 

“Ushijima-san?” called a voice more familiar and welcome than his own, and Wakatoshi didn’t spare a moment in yanking his door open. 

“Hinata,” he rushed in some kind of wild, confused elation. On his doorstep stood the man he’d been thinking of all night, looking more like a dream than anything else ever had. Was he still drunk, he wondered, but Hinata’s smile was enough to convince him he probably wasn’t. He couldn’t have concocted such purity in his head. “What are you doing here. I thought-“

Hinata shuffled his feet again, eyes stuck to Wakatoshi, words coming slow. “I convinced them to give me another hour.” Wakatoshi found it a little odd, but he didn’t have any reason to doubt the words. He waved Hinata inside. Once the door was shut, he felt a little ashamed, rubbing at the back of his head. 

“I can go change,” he told Hinata as he stood in only an old tee and his favorite comfy pants, but Hinata just waved him off as he pulled his shoes off, almost too eagerly pulling on his slippers. 

“I hope it’s okay that I came!” he said in a rush, looking anywhere but Wakatoshi. “You hung up so we weren’t even sure-“

“It’s always okay,” Wakatoshi said so easily that he realized he was still churning enough alcohol in his blood to make himself be shamelessly honest. “You can come... anytime, Hinata.”

Brown eyes shifted to the tall man, so suddenly that Wakatoshi was caught a little off guard. Hinata’s eyes seemed to sparkle in the low light of the entryway. 

“I’m sorry it’s so late,” murmured Wakatoshi as he now tried to find anything else to look at aside from Hinata’s piercing gaze. 

“It’s never too late for you, Ushijima-san,” whispered the redhead, an honest response to mimic Wakatoshi’s own honest remark from earlier. Hinata walked into the apartment, patiently waiting for Wakatoshi near the middle of the space on direction on where to go. “What do you want to do?”

Wakatoshi stepped up into his apartment and looked towards the couch, which looked wildly unappealing now. His video game console sat abandoned again, Wakatoshi’s eyes slipping to the bedroom that lay down the hall to the right. Hinata waited so patiently for Ushijima’s answer, like he was breathlessly awaiting to hear if Wakatoshi would be selfish and ask for what he wanted. 

What Wakatoshi wanted, very suddenly, was to take this gorgeous creature to his bed. He wanted to do unspeakable things, but mostly he wanted Hinata to fill that space, to convince Wakatoshi of what he already knew. Wakatoshi’s whole world felt complete with Hinata here, and he knew now that no one else would fill his emptiness like this tiny redhead. No one else would fill the gaping holes in his life. Everything had morphed into a Hinata-sized hole, and Wakatoshi did not have the energy to try to deny it any longer. 

Eyes shifted back to the redhead, earnest brown eyes staring back, maybe tinged with the same burning desire Wakatoshi felt, or maybe that was just his own desires translating the situation to his advantage. 

“The bedroom,” he called. “Are you allowed to...?” He pursed his lips slowly, afraid to say too much and get too invested in the idea of Hinata, in his bed, glued to him, feeling him. 

“Yes,” whispered Hinata breathlessly. “Whatever you want, Ushijima-san.”

“I want you to call me Wakatoshi,” he said without a moment of pause, his mind churning out too many thoughts at once. 

Hinata’s eyebrows raised slightly, eyes going a little bigger. “Yes, Wakatoshi,” he breathed. “Whatever you want.” 

Wakatoshi felt drunk with power. Hinata’s voice was making his hair stand on end, electricity in the air. He was so sinfully perfect and compliant in this very moment that Wakatoshi felt frozen with fear of doing something without thinking. 

“I’m going to get us some water if you want to... go ahead,” he choked out stiffly, nodding towards his slightly-opened bedroom door. 

“Yes, Wakatoshi,” said Hinata as he turned, Wakatoshi frozen solid for a moment as the words and tone of Hinata’s voice washed over him, stirring so many sinful desires that Wakatoshi felt he might explode. He rushed to his kitchen, too much noise as he grabbed glasses and filled them, but his hands were shaking so badly that he was spilling water everywhere. He hurriedly wiped the counter down and picked up the glasses, trying to calm himself. His pulse was throbbing in his veins, heart pumping too fast, probably. Wakatoshi was riding a high that was better than anything else he’d ever known, but with his feet planted for a moment, he reminded himself to ground his fantasies and remember sanity. Hinata was still doing his job and he had signed a contract that legally bound him to behave. 

Calmly, he walked into his bedroom to find Hinata sitting quietly on his bed, eyes taking in everything, inhaling softly but deeply. Wakatoshi’s bathroom was leaking out the scent of his shower, and more than any other space in the house, this room smelled distinctly of Wakatoshi. He handed Hinata’s cup off and drank down his own. 

“Thank you for coming so late,” Wakatoshi began quietly. He scratched at his scalp, frowned. “I had some drinks tonight, so you have to tell me if I do anything I shouldn’t. I want to respect you and the... contract I signed.”

Hinata watched Wakatoshi quietly as he sipped at his own water, slowly setting it down on a bedside table when Wakatoshi put down his own empty glass, as if Hinata was only here for Wakatoshi, to give every moment of time to him. That power head trip rushed back, Wakatoshi shaking it off as Hinata crawled slowly into the middle of Wakatoshi’s bed. He began pulling the neat covers back, Wakatoshi watching with rising heat and concern. 

“Hinata,” he called, but the other was quiet, strangely so. “Hinata!” he called again, and finally the redhead turned and smiled that devastating smile of his. 

“It’s okay,” he told Wakatoshi softly, crawling under the covers. “As long as this is what you want...”

Wakatoshi didn’t respond, instead just climbing stiffly into his own bed beside Hinata. The heat was unbearable almost, Hinata so, so close to him. His heart wanted to pound out of his rib cage. Their thighs touched and Wakatoshi turned to pull Hinata’s upper body against his own in a hug, trying to find a moment of sanity before everything Hinata did made him loose control or rationality. 

“Hinata, I want you to know that I never want to do anything inappropriate toward you, so please promise that you’ll tell me if I’m going too far.” When Hinata didn’t respond, Wakatoshi whispered, “I don’t think I have enough sense right now to not do something stupid...”

“Wakatoshi,” said Hinata, an arrow to the man’s heart, and he looked down cautiously at the angel in his arms. Hinata was smiling his normal smile, all bright-eyed happiness. “I will let you know, don’t worry.”

Wakatoshi felt a check in his heart, his mind slowly calming at the reassurance. He nodded slowly. God, he’d asked for this, but why did it feel so disappointing when Hinata said he would keep Wakatoshi in line. 

“We can lay down,” Hinata told him with a smile. Wakatoshi felt stiff, but slowly he pulled them down to his mattress. The pillow that had never been used before now held Hinata’s head, his hair laid softly across it like a halo. Wakatoshi felt a strange stir in his gut. Hinata curled against his side as he always did, Wakatoshi staring silently up at the ceiling. Hinata’s slow breathing filled the dimly lit room. 

After a long while of silence, Hinata asked, “Do you want to talk about what happened?” Without a word, Hinata had sensed Wakatoshi’s unease and conflicting thoughts. 

Wakatoshi could so easily tell Hinata everything, but deeply woven in the story of the night was his own feelings for the man, and he didn’t trust himself not to reveal too much. He shook his head, trying out a small smile. 

“Thank you,” he murmured instead. “Just having you here is enough, though.”

Hinata snuggled into Wakatoshi’s neck quietly, the cool air caressing over Wakatoshi’s other half of his chest, uncovered by blanket or Hinata. Slowly, he turned his head, Hinata shifting back to look up at him. Still, he felt there was too much distance between them, and so very slowly, he shifted to his side. When Hinata said nothing, he pulled his other arm over Hinata’s small frame. Brown eyes watched Wakatoshi quietly, never uttering a correction. Wakatoshi slowly tightened his hug. 

“Thank you, Hinata,” he murmured as he slowly pressed his nose to soft, curled hair. His body felt warm for the first time in a very long time, his heart happy and his mind relaxed, truly relaxed. Hinata was a miracle that Wakatoshi should always honor and respect. He could never overstep the boundaries that had been set, because losing Hinata would be worse than anything else. “Just tell me when you have to go,” he said softly even as his lids grew heavy and his thoughts faded away. 

“Okay, Wakatoshi,” whispered the angel in his arms. Brown eyes watched Wakatoshi in the dim lighting of the room, never wavering as the man slowly fell asleep and began to snore ever so softly. Hinata’s smile fell softly as he finally let his own emotions show. A melancholic sadness so deep settled over his features. 

Hinata had lied earlier. The company didn’t know he was here at all; he’d come of his own volition, because more than anything he wanted to see Wakatoshi, and because he’d sensed that Wakatoshi needed him, whether that was his own selfishness or not. 

He had foolishly fallen in love with his client, and he knew nothing good could come of it, but Hinata had never, ever backed down from feelings like this, and he had never, ever felt so strongly for anyone else before. 

As minutes turned to hours, Hinata stayed there in Wakatoshi’s arms, wishing this night would last forever, wishing he would never know a day without Wakatoshi’s hold on him.


	3. Chapter 3

Wakatoshi startled awake as a beam of sunlight stretched across his face, tossing to his back and eyes snapping wide open. Instantly, there was a pain like something he’d just had was now missing. He let his eyes adjust and slowly looked around. His room seemed the same, but there was a different feeling. When he glanced to his right, he noted the ruffled sheets and the pillow that usually lay untouched, now sunk in a little in the middle. He turned again and slowly pressed his hand over the sheets next to him. Warm. There was a lingering warmth there, like whoever had been with him had just left. 

Hinata. 

Wakatoshi shot up and bumbled his way out to the living room, his heart desperate, but the rest of the house was quiet and empty. Wakatoshi sighed wearily and sank against the wall, so tired. 

He shuffled back into his bedroom to change his clothes and wash his face, Hinata lingering in the back of his mind like a tease. Any moment, he thought he might turn around and see the redhead there, waiting, but he was alone. 

He moved back out into the main living area of his apartment and started up his coffee machine, moving around his kitchen to set up everything he needed to make fried eggs and toast. He moved automatically, his mind drifting elsewhere as he worked. When all of the prep was done, he stood at his kitchen counter and ate, in silence, as if he needed it to remind himself constantly that he wanted Hinata here. 

A small note caught Wakatoshi’s eye as he made his way to the living room to sit down and try to sort out his feelings. It lay almost innocent atop the coffee table, sitting underneath a coaster so as not to flutter away. Cute, bubbly handwriting marked the surface of the paper, Wakatoshi snatching it up in an instant. 

_Please call for me whenever. - Hinata_ , that signature little heart at the end. But the real prize was the phone number written at the bottom. Wakatoshi pulled out his own phone to make sure, but no, it wasn’t the number for the Cuddle Bunny agency. This was Hinata’s number. He typed it rapidly into his phone and instantly opened a new message. There, his fingers stalled. What was he supposed to say? “I miss you already”? “You should have just stayed”? “Come back this instant so I can-“... Wakatoshi shook his head and stared at the white screen. 

_Hinata_ , was all he sent in the end. He set his phone slowly down, hoping for an instant response, picking up his game controller instead when nothing came, searching for a distraction. He was halfway through a campaign, in the middle of a fight when his phone buzzed. He dropped his controller, his character slowly dying on the screen, but his phone was more important. 

_Wakatoshi? I’m sorry, I was in class until just now!_ , was the response. Wakatoshi’s heart soared. It seemed, at least, that Hinata hadn’t left because he hadn’t wanted to be there... Wakatoshi scratched at his face and thought to himself that it was so childish of him, but he couldn’t help but feel relieved. 

Wakatoshi typed out three different answers all having to with what Hinata should do next with his cute little self, but in the end settling on, _Yes, this is Wakatoshi. How was your class?_

A few moments later, the sounds of muted battle in the background as his tv replayed the moment of his character’s death over and over as it panned the battlefield, Hinata responded. _I couldn’t concentrate..._

Wakatoshi frowned, moving to turn off his tv and then sinking back into his couch. _Did you not sleep well?_ Perhaps he had kept Hinata awake? Had Hinata felt annoyed at staying? Wakatoshi had never thought he could be such a worry wart.

 _No_ , came first, and Wakatoshi felt his heart jump into his throat. _I slept very well!_ Wakatoshi’s heart settled again and he sighed. 

_Thanks to you_ , and there went Wakatoshi’s heart again. He pressed a hand to his chest and thought that Hinata would surely be the death of him. 

_Come over whenever_ Wakatoshi almost sent, but instead he typed out a mild, _I’m glad._

 _I have another class_ , Hinata sent him a few minutes later. _I have to go, I’m sorry!_

Wakatoshi slowly let his hand slip down to his couch, soul aching. He wanted so badly to just ask Hinata to come when he was done, to be with him and they could just play video games all day or snuggle or talk or... Wakatoshi scrubbed a hand over his face, thinking he was already so far gone. 

Was this a good thing? Was it okay for him to egg on these feelings of his? He knew there was a very good likelihood he would only hurt himself in the end, but Hinata felt like a drug, a really good, high class drug and Wakatoshi didn’t have the strength to ween himself off. When his phone chirped again, he jerked it to his face, but it was just his mother this time. 

_I got an angry call from Yuki’s mother! Tell me right now what happened!_. Wakatoshi wearily tossed his phone down, wanting to escape all of reality that didn’t have to do with Hinata. 

Was that what it was, he wondered mildly. Maybe Hinata was just a good distraction. After all, the redhead had absolutely no ties to his normal, stressful life. Hinata was so easy on his soul, so good for him that maybe Wakatoshi had let himself get too lost. He rubbed a hand over his face again, suddenly very tired. 

The hours passed by and Wakatoshi spent them either in torment or desperately looking for distraction. When he’d cleaned his whole house, finished up work assignments that he really didn’t need to worry about yet, and cooked a full course meal, he sat down and thought maybe he should stop fighting it and see where things led him. If his heart was broken in the end, at least he would have a good, firm ending, not this wishy washy nonsense his feelings were currently doing. 

He picked up his phone and dialed.

“Thank you for calling Cuddly Bunny! How may we assist you today?”

“This is Ushijima. I’d like to request Hinata.”

x

There was a soft knock on the door, and Wakatoshi shot up from where he sat, on the step to the entry way, his front door open in a split second. Hinata’s eyes were wide, hand still slightly raised, and slowly he laughed. 

“Sorry,” murmured Wakatoshi, but Hinata was already hustling his way inside.

“You called for me via the agency,” Hinata said quietly after Wakatoshi had shut the door, the space they stood in too small for conversation, but Wakatoshi didn’t move. 

“Yes,” he responded, not understanding the frown on Hinata’s face. 

“Even though I gave you my number,” Hinata said next, still not looking up at the man. 

Wakatoshi slowly raised a hand and scratched at the back of his scalp, a nervous habit by now. “Well, I wanted to-“ He stopped there. How could he say that he didn’t want to assume that Hinata would want to come if it wasn’t for the job? “You know, so you get paid for this...”

Hinata was quiet for a while, turning to slip off his shoes and pull on his slippers. “We only have a few hours now,” he said as he eyed the spread of food on Wakatoshi’s table, feet faltering and a sadness creeping over his expression that robbed Wakatoshi of breath. He turned with wet eyes and a big smile and laughed, “I would come even if I didn’t get paid. I mean, just eating your food... and stuff... is good enough for me.” His small lips pressed together like he was afraid other words would fall out, and Wakatoshi stood awkwardly in his entry way, feeling like he should be punished, that this sad look on Hinata’s face was it. 

“Ah...” murmured Wakatoshi quietly. “I didn’t want to presume...”

Hinata looked back at the dining room table and bubbled out a soft laugh. “You made so much food.”

Wakatoshi stepped up behind Hinata and gave a nervous laugh that sounded odd in his register. When was the last time he’d laughed? Again, he kept his true motives a secret as he simply said, “I felt like it.”

Hinata whirled around and grabbed suddenly at Wakatoshi’s hand. His heart lodged into his throat at the feel of that tiny, warm hand in his own, feeling like he might melt any moment as Hinata laughed and pulled him to the table. Hinata let go of his hand all too soon, trying to figure out what he wanted to eat, Wakatoshi realizing maybe too late how close he was standing to the other. In fact, he didn’t realize it might be too close until Hinata had to crane his neck way back to look up at him. 

“It looks yummy,” Hinata said with a glint in his eyes, like he hadn’t seen food in ages. Wakatoshi nodded awkwardly and moved stiffly to grab two plates for them. Hinata plucked one from his hands and was already piling his own plate high by the time Wakatoshi could blink. 

“Oh my gosh, everything looks so good,” whispered Hinata as he stuffed a piece of meat into his mouth right where he stood, no time to wait. Wakatoshi watched it all with a sense of overwhelming pride warming his insides, something he’d never ever felt like this before. He didn’t move as he simply watched Hinata fawn over all the dishes he’d made, taking a little bit of everything. With cheeks stuffed with food and his plate so full it was a small mountain, Hinata finally turned back to Wakatoshi with wide, shining eyes. Wakatoshi wanted to kiss this sweet being, but he clenched his hands on his plate and rooted his feet. Hinata glanced at his empty plate, smiled as best as he could. He swallowed and sighed, happy. “Come on, you eat, too!”

Wakatoshi nodded, feeling a little happy to be scolded by this tiny redhead, as he filled his own plate. Looking at Hinata’s, he wondered where the redhead put all that food, his body so small. Were his toes hollow? 

Hinata shuffled, satisfied when Wakatoshi had a full plate, moving into the living room like it was already their normal spot. Wakatoshi dropped his head to hide a tiny smile and followed the other. When he sat down with a little distance between them, Hinata was quick to close the gap, thigh to thigh until warmth spread between them. Wakatoshi knew he could get way too used to this if he let himself. As they ate, Hinata was surprisingly quiet, even with his mountain of food. Wakatoshi followed suit, enjoying just having the time to spend with the redhead. 

“I’ll take your plate!” Hinata offered happily when they were done, the redhead finishing in record time, but Wakatoshi just took both quietly and walked them to his kitchen, back with a wet napkin for the redhead, who wiped his face and hands with a grin. 

“Come here!” he said with a huff when Wakatoshi went back to the kitchen to toss the paper towel and come back with drinks. Hinata slithered to the middle of the couch and smacked at the cushion beside him. In his eyes was a small panic, and even Wakatoshi could feel their time limit breathing down his neck. He didn’t want it to be this way, but he’d made that mistake on his own. He slid beside Hinata, the other instantly molding to his side. 

It was so warm and perfect, and it brought up memories from last night, just a feeling that warmed Wakatoshi to his toes. 

“I’m sorry I fell asleep last night,” he whispered softly as he drew another arm around Hinata. It was easier to talk when he couldn’t see those bright eyes and that pretty smile. 

“You were tired,” said Hinata sweetly. “I was just happy to be here...” A warm cheek pressed to Wakatoshi’s chest, the heat felt through the thin material of his shirt. Hinata was blushing. Wakatoshi felt the urge again to kiss, maybe his forehead, or the crown of his head, definitely his lips. 

They didn’t speak of the short time they had, trying to savor every moment as Hinata told Wakatoshi about his day, as Wakatoshi noted there was nothing interesting about his own. It was interesting now that Hinata was there, but he didn’t say that. 

“My business and economics class is by far the hardest one this semester, and I feel like I’m barely holding on to a passing grade,” Hinata groaned as he snuggled his face to Wakatoshi’s chest, a hand slipping up to rest on a pectoral. Wakatoshi tried to calm his heart, but it was no use, and he was sure Hinata could feel it.

“I could help you,” Wakatoshi offered in hopes of distracting. Hinata’s head jerked up and he pressed off of Wakatoshi’s chest, looking up with big eyes. 

“Oh my god...” he whispered. “Really?” He was almost in tears, and Wakatoshi felt cruel for thinking he was adorable. 

“Well, my degree was in business, so I think I could. I was never good at helping others study, though...” Wakatoshi was not good with words, and the concepts that made sense in his head were hard to explain in language. He frowned, but Hinata was already too excited to notice. 

With hands grabbing into Wakatoshi’s shirt, he suddenly climbed into Wakatoshi’s lap, the tall man inhaling sharply, eyes wide and looking up at Hinata as the smaller male sank easily down so they were hip to hip. Hinata had not yet noticed their position, too excited about the idea that Wakatoshi could help him. When he bounced, it was even worse for Wakatoshi, and he begged his body to behave. 

“Wakatoshi, really?! That would help me so much, you don’t even know!!”

When it got too much, Wakatoshi had no choice but the grab Hinata’s hips and pull them down to his own, at least keeping the man from moving and jirating, but it was already too late. Hinata went suddenly very quiet, very still. Wakatoshi couldn’t look at him, cheeks deep red. Hinata’s hands tightened ever so slightly on Wakatoshi’s shirt. 

Wakatoshi wasn’t sure what he expected. Hinata to regain his senses and scramble off, to say this wasn’t right, to scold Wakatoshi. But Hinata just sat very silent, the minutes ticking by softly. 

Then, slowly, slowly, the redhead seemed to crumple, falling slowly forward against Wakatoshi’s chest, slotting his small body under the man’s chin and coming to rest there, all heat and pounding hearts and something like a magnet pulling them together, all of it making Wakatoshi gasp softly. The hands on his chest slid down and around and slim arms hugged him tightly, Wakatoshi frozen in a state of intense desire, held captive in heat. His semi-erection was pressed between them, something hard pressing back against it, but Wakatoshi’s brain wasn’t processing that fast. 

“I can help you,” he whispered, his mind still stuck on business homework, and Hinata sighed against him. With a start, he realized that college would be the furthest thing from either of their minds right now. He sat with his arms laying beside him, unsure of what to do for a long time, but the longer Hinata stayed glued to him, and as Wakatoshi slowly accepted what was happening, he brought his arms slowly around to hug Hinata to him. 

“Wakatoshi,” the redhead exhaled softly as arms hugged him back, a sigh like relief escaping his sweet lips. 

“Hinata,” he whispered back. “I’m sorry-“

“You’re fine,” Hinata was quick to tell him, lest Wakatoshi begin to worry about things like that stupid contract or whether Hinata even wanted this or not. His whole body ached; of course he wanted this, but neither could say it, so Wakatoshi was left to fret over useless worries. “This is fine,” Hinata breathed. 

Wakatoshi slowly relaxed against the couch, arms tightening as one hand slowly slid up and into soft, orange locks. Hinata was so precious to him, had become so, very suddenly, that Wakatoshi felt knocked back, breathless in moments like these. He ached for Hinata so bad all the while trying to remind himself that this could be a love that was never fulfilled. What would Hinata want with someone as old as him, and a man on top of that? It left Wakatoshi frustrated on so many fronts, and yet he didn’t think he’d actually wish to change a thing. Because Hinata was Hinata, and he was Wakatoshi, and if anything changed, they may have never even met. 

Slowly, Hinata sat up, his hips rolling against Wakatoshi’s with the movement. Two pairs of eyes met each other in silence, Hinata so close that Wakatoshi could feel his breath on his nose, smell him. He had to make an effort to drag his eyes up from perfect, pink lips to molten brown eyes. His arms at first loosened and then tightened again, wanting to be so selfish as he stared at Hinata, at his eyes, at his lips, his eyes again. Hinata was dangerously silent, his own eyes roaming Wakatoshi’s face as they quietly breathed in such close proximity. Both could feel it coiling in their guts, a great need. Hinata unconsciously licked at his lips, Wakatoshi pressing his own together and then loose, pursing and unpursing. 

Slowly, Hinata sat up, his hands slipping from Wakatoshi’s chest to where his arms still hugged around Hinata’s hips. He held them there, silently begging Wakatoshi never to let go, but creating more space between them so he wouldn’t do something that would break this wonderful thing they had. Yes, even Hinata was unsure and afraid. Still, he loved his time with Wakatoshi and he could be bold in at least that. 

“Next time,” he breathed slowly, “call my phone when you want me to come. I’ll come as soon as I can even if you say in the morning that you want to see me later. Even if we just saw each other, I’ll always want to see you again. I want come, and I want to be able to stay.”

Wakatoshi’s eyes were stuck on Hinata’s face, on his words as he spoke. He swallowed roughly, wishing he could be so bold.

“What I’m saying is, I want you to be selfish and tell me when you want to see me, and I want to selfishly take as much of your time as I can.”

“But your job...” hushed Wakatoshi, frowning. 

“I’ll come when I can,” Hinata promised again, but something about that answer didn’t sit well with Wakatoshi. He couldn’t say it, but the thought of Hinata cuddling anyone else made his stomach churn bitterly. His hands tightened on Hinata’s hips, Hinata’s hands on his wrists clinging tighter too. “So promise you’ll tell me.”

Wakatoshi felt heat rise again, need swelling once more, but all he could say was, “I will. I promise.” What else could be do when this was all he could think about, all he wanted, to monopolize Hinata’s time?

Hinata’s hands relaxed on his wrists, and slowly he drew them up, over Wakatoshi’s buff arms, up to his shoulders. Wakatoshi kept his eyes on Hinata’s the whole time, trying to calm himself down as the other easily stocked his fire with trailing fingertips. Hands locked behind Wakatoshi’s neck and Hinata slowly leaned in again. His lips were so close, but Wakatoshi couldn’t make himself do it, or ask for it. Hinata waited, but neither moved beyond that, both understanding that a misunderstanding of intention, that a kiss, could make or break what they had, both too scared to see which it would be. Finally, Hinata sank back again to Wakatoshi’s chest, hugging him as Wakatoshi easily returned it, the two melting back into one until their time for tonight was up. 

Hinata regretfully pulled their bodies apart like warm taffy, climbing off of Wakatoshi like one word would make him forget all of his worries and clamber back. He stood to his feet and shuffled into his slippers and he waited for Wakatoshi to stand too. Wakatoshi was so tall compared to him, something neither had realized until now that they really liked. When Hinata took Wakatoshi’s hand again, the taller man instantly tightened his own grip, maybe a little bolder than he gave himself credit for. They didn’t let go even after they got to the entryway, Hinata turning back to him. 

“Promise you’ll call,” Hinata asked again, and Wakatoshi nodded. 

“I promise.”

“Is there anything else you want to ask of me before I go?” the redhead asked hopefully, and Wakatoshi felt hope surge in his own chest. 

Did he dare? He wasn’t sure he was brave enough yet. He kept silent for a moment, Hinata’s hand flexing in his own. “And you?” Wakatoshi asked instead, knowing Hinata was braver than him, but Hinata just smiled and shook his head. The truth was there were too many things they wanted to ask for, all of them a test of courage to say aloud. Hinata walked to the front door, hand still in Wakatoshi’s, not letting go until he had crossed the threshold and was stepping outside. Their hands slipped apart and Wakatoshi felt it like a part of his soul was leaving. He watched Hinata walk hurriedly away, like a glance back or a slow pace might make him change his mind. He was gone too fast, his perfect little figure disappearing into the elevator. Wakatoshi shut his door, feeling so lost. 

Mindlessly, he cleaned up their dinner and shuffled to bed. There were missed calls from his mother but Wakatoshi didn’t care. He felt hollow. He sank down to his bed and fell into a fitful sleep. 

x

Wakatoshi sat at his desk, a nervous fidgeting having taken to his feet and fingers. His assistant stared at him in annoyance every time she came in to hand off more notes or papers. 

“Did you drink too much coffee this morning?” she finally asked when his foot tapping became too much. He stilled for a split second and turned to her apologetically, but she waved it off, gone a moment later. His drumming and tapping resumed instantly. 

He picked up his phone and ran his thumb in patterns over the dark screen. He was currently trying to fight every sane molecule in his body. His eyelids felt heavy; he’d woken up at 4 am and had been unable to go back to sleep, and he knew exactly why. 

_Hinata_ , he typed and sent in a moment of courage. He set his phone down to pretend like now he could get some work done, but his phone buzzed a second later and he was back to nervous fidgeting, phone in hand. 

_Wakatoshi!_ And then like he thought that was too much, that he had to be calmer, _How are you today?_

Wakatoshi’s fingers drifted over the keys, thinking of a million honest things he could say, settling finally on the thing he typed out before he could chicken out. _I want to see you tonight._ It was as much of an answer, in the end, as any of the others he’d thought up. It was admitting that Wakatoshi’s body was living for nothing but Hinata’s presence, that his day was awful so far without the redhead, without actually saying as much. Still, his sanity caught up and he added, _I mean, if you want to._

_Yes_ , was Hinata’s rapid response, Ushijima’s text slotting in behind it. _Of course I want to_ , when he saw Ushijima’s second text. 

Wakatoshi grabbed his phone with two hands now, aching to say the words that throbbed in his head, in his veins. He already missed Hinata so badly. He scrubbed a hand over his face roughly. 

_I get out of class at 6._

Wakatoshi couldn’t remember the last time he’d made it home so early. He scratched at his scalp. It would take Hinata and him the same time to get to his house. 

_I might be late._

There was a pause between Hinata’s response, and Wakatoshi thought suddenly that maybe Hinata didn’t want to just wait around for him. He began typing out a message, but his phone chimed again before he could send it. 

_There’s a cafe in front of school, I can wait for you there._

Wakatoshi erased his unsent text and laid his head wearily on his pile of paper work. He didn’t want to make Hinata wait, but he also couldn’t deny that hearing Hinata say he’d wait for him made him feel so alive. 

_Work hard, Wakatoshi!_

Wakatoshi rubbed a hand over his face again, setting his phone down as a blush rose. _Damn it, Hinata_ , he thought. _I fucking love you._

It was far too late for him already. 

x

Wakatoshi practically barreled out of his office building at 7:31. He’d thankfully been able to finish quickly with the motivation of seeing Hinata, but still, he’d been so absorbed he’d missed the time he’d promised himself to stop. He ran to the parking garage below his office building, hand in the air to unlock his car as he ran. He hurled into his car and tossed his briefcase and jacket to the backseat, starting up his car as he pulled out his phone. 

_I’m so sorry. I’m on my way._ He didn’t wait to see Hinata’s response as he peeled out of the garage and into the Tokyo city roads. 

It took him twenty minutes to get to the cafe, and then another ten to find parking that he found suitable. He climbed out of his car, looking most likely like an idiot, as he made his way as fast as he could to the small cafe across from a sprawling, night time campus. He took a deep breath and then calmly opened the cafe door, eyes searching frantically as he tried to appear as calm as possible. Hinata was sitting at the small counter to the right, head bowed over a text book and notes, his laptop open, looking so young and attractive that it froze Wakatoshi. Oh god, he’d really fallen in love with a college student, and this, this felt too much like a date for his frazzled mind. He quietly made his way to Hinata and grabbed the chair next to him to pull it out. 

“I’m sorry, I’m waiting for someone-“ Hinata’s head turned, saying, eyes going wide when he saw who it was. “Wakatoshi!” he hushed with a blinding smile, and Wakatoshi nodded guiltily as he set himself down. 

“I’m sorry for how late it got.”

Hinata didn’t say anything, so Wakatoshi carefully looked up. The redhead was just smiling at him, a twinkle in his eyes that said he didn’t mind, because Wakatoshi was here now. Wakatoshi looked down at the glass of water on the counter. “Did you eat?” he asked in concern. 

Hinata waved him off, but Wakatoshi recalled from his own college days, not of himself but from friends, that money was very tight during these years. He turned and grabbed two menus, putting one on top of Hinata’s books and the other on the empty counter space before him. “Pick whatever you want,” Wakatoshi murmured quietly, ears turning red as he tried to look very invested in purveying the menu before him. There wasn’t a lot of food on it, mostly just sandwiches, and Wakatoshi wondered if he shouldn’t take Hinata somewhere else instead when the waitress appeared across the counter from them. Wakatoshi looked up at her, then at Hinata when it was still silent. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, Hinata’s face scrunched up as he scratched softly at the menu. 

“Umm,” whispered Hinata, glancing at Wakatoshi with big eyes and then at the waitress. 

“Do you need another minute?” she smiled, and Hinata nodded stiffly, deer in the headlights. 

“What’s wrong?” Wakatoshi asked again as he turned back to Hinata, a little impatient. He’d never dealt well with indecisive people, but he tried to remind himself that not everyone was as stiff as he was. While any time before this, he hadn’t cared to let his annoyance show, he was reigning it back because this was Hinata, Hinata the angel, and god, he wished he wasn’t such an angry old man. 

“It’s just... a little expensive, and I don’t think you should have to pay for-“

“I want to,” Wakatoshi said, not quite understanding the hold up. Another shortcoming of his, probably. 

Hinata turned to him and smiled. “It’s not as easy as that,” he laughed softly, scratching at his jaw. God, he was so cute. Wakatoshi blinked and tried to refocus. 

“Are you not hungry?” he asked in confusion, knowing Hinata could scarf down a whole mountain of food. Hinata’s stomach was the one that gave the answer, making Hinata turn bright red. “Am I overstepping...?” Wakatoshi asked slowly as it dawned on him. 

Brown eyes turned to his face and Hinata slowly shook his head. “It just makes this feel like...” He pursed his lips and blushed. “Well, you know...”

Wakatoshi looked around at the small cafe, and all he could think was that if he was taking Hinata on an actual date, it would be somewhere so much nicer than this, someplace that Hinata really deserved. This place wasn’t worthy of a first date, and so he refused to think of it that way, no matter how much his heart protested; he was simply buying the guy he was in love with some damn food. The situation perplexed Wakatoshi, unsure of how to reassure Hinata that he could just eat whatever he wanted. He scratched at his scalp. The waitress had quietly returned, and Hinata let out a slow exhale and a smile as he turned to her, more understanding than Wakatoshi could ever guess. 

“Can I have the daily soup bowl and a grilled ham sandwich?”

“Anything to drink?” she smiled as she asked, Wakatoshi just staring at Hinata with a slightly open mouth. 

“Ah, an iced coffee, please. Two pumps of hazelnut.”

“And you, sir?”

Hinata slowly turned to Wakatoshi and smiled, but the other was still frozen. “Wakatoshi,” he whispered, causing the other to jerk his head back to the waitress. 

“Ahh, just...” he began awkwardly, head darting back down to the menu as he pointed out the first thing he saw. 

“Good choice, sir. And to drink?”

Was she mocking him? He felt so out of his element. He cleared his throat and asked for a black coffee. She nodded, smiling as she walked off to put in their orders. Wakatoshi sighed, turning slowly to Hinata.

“What was that?” he asked, staring at Hinata, the redhead smiling as he looked back down at his textbook. 

“Well, it seemed like you really wanted to do this for me. And, well, it’s not like this is a da-“ Hinata’s eyes sparked up, Wakatoshi having leaned in without really knowing. They were a breath apart. Hinata pulled his lips together slowly, falling quiet. 

Suddenly, despite the location, Wakatoshi wanted more than anything for this be a date. He clenched his hands, not even sure of how to say that, knowing he had to pull back and reign himself in. Hinata slowly inhaled and they pulled back, together. 

“Sorry,” murmured Wakatoshi, but Hinata just smiled as he turned back to his text book, clearing space as he put his things away. “Can I help you with your business stuff?” Wakatoshi asked in a desperate attempt to clear the awkward air between them. Hinata’s eyes went wide and he looked up at Wakatoshi.

“While we wait for our food, at least,” he added, and Hinata quickly exclaimed, “Yes! Please!”

He rummaged in his back pack and produced more textbooks in seconds flat, spreading out note books and pushing his laptop to the side. Then more softly, eyes pleading, “Please help me.”

Wakatoshi’s heart stuttered in his chest, and he had to look down at the book before him to distract from the absolutely endearing look on Hinata’s face. “No problem,” he murmured as he slowly scanned through neatly written notes, through the book to refresh his memory. “Where are you having the most difficulty?”

“Everywhere!” whined the redhead as he leaned in. Wakatoshi didn’t say anything as Hinata came close again, when Wakatoshi could smell his hair and see the texture of it as it bounced softly. He was truthfully only half listening to Hinata, but somehow they spent a productive hour studying and eating. In the end, Hinata looked a little more confident in the subject, and Wakatoshi helped him put away his books and notes. 

“Do you have to work tonight?” he asked, maybe a redundant question, but he had to know as he walked with Hinata outside, the air chilly. 

“No,” Hinata said with a smile, turning to Wakatoshi. 

“Ahh,” murmured Wakatoshi as he scratched at his cheek, afraid to let the rush of relief show too much. “Do you want to... come back to... my place? For a bit?” Wakatoshi was trying to look anywhere but at Hinata, missing the way his eyes brightened happily, smile going wider. 

“I’d love that,” breathed Hinata, olive eyes slipping finally to his face. Wakatoshi’s heart hiccuped again. Silently, he turned and walked to his parking spot, trying to hide the fact that he was speechless with fake confidence. No one was fooled, but maybe that was fine.

“Wow,” hushed Hinata as Wakatoshi stepped up to his car and unlocked it. He thought too late to open the door for Hinata, so he had to awkwardly make his way back around. Hinata was staring with big eyes at the navy car, a fairly normal four door sedan from a high-end manufacturer, but Wakatoshi hadn’t really thought that much of it until now. He looked back at his BMW like he was seeing it for the first time, door held open for Hinata. 

“Leather seats?” hushed Hinata with a giggle. He slid in, looking so tiny in the big seat. “Butt warmers?!” he squeaked whenever he saw the button for it. Wakatoshi shut the door then lest he fall in love even more with an adorable Hinata. He slipped into the driver’s seat and buckled up, starting his car without risking another glance to the side. Hinata was staring at everything with wide eyes. 

“Can I pick some music?” asked Hinata with a giggle as he leaned forward to look at all the buttons on the dash. 

“Put your seatbelt on!” Wakatoshi scolded as he pulled out of the parking garage. He realized too late how it sounded, but Hinata giggled and obeyed. “Put on whatever you want,” relented Wakatoshi, and Hinata laughed again. 

He put on a pop station, turning the volume down so they could still talk, finally sitting back and fawning over heated seats and the sun roof above. Wakatoshi couldn’t admit even to himself that his ego was slowly inflating, being stroked. He couldn’t say that this was making him feel like a big man who might possibly deserve a wonder like Hinata. 

Hinata filled the drive with lots of talking, Wakatoshi happy to listen as Hinata’s voice drowned out the music and his own worries from the day. He parked the car in his apartment building’s garage thirty minutes later and they climbed out, Hinata still chatting as they walked to the elevator. It was only when the doors closed that Hinata went quiet. Side by side, they stood quietly as they absorbed the fact that their time together tonight was not encumbered by a time limit, that this was not a contractual visit, but just two guys, together. 

A small hand slipped silently into Wakatoshi’s and he felt his heart tremble in his chest, eyes straight forward lest he be tempted. The reflection of them on the doors of the elevator made him once again come face to face with the fact that Hinata was 20, 20! And he was an old, tired businessman. 

Brown eyes turned slowly up to Wakatoshi’s profile, and the man watched Hinata smile softly at him from the reflection. Slowly, he sighed and relaxed, his fingers tightening around Hinata’s small hand. 

“Thank you, Wakatoshi,” Hinata said with a breathtaking smile; Wakatoshi couldn’t look straight at him. He felt he hadn’t done much to deserve such thanks. 

“Next time, I’ll take you to a really nice place,” he said, brain not processing the words fully. Hinata went quiet again, lowering his head as he smiled at the floor. When the doors opened, their hands slipped apart and Wakatoshi walked silently to his door with Hinata in tow. 

When the front door to his place closed behind them, Wakatoshi wondered suddenly what they were supposed to do with their time. It wasn’t like Hinata was expressly here to cuddle, so what were they going to do? 

Hinata giggled as he looked at a frozen Wakatoshi. “Let’s play a video game,” he suggested with a soft smile, discarding his bag and jacket and shoes, slipping into his house slippers like it was second nature by now. Wakatoshi slowly did the same, straightening up shoes and hanging bags and coats as Hinata waited quietly for him. When he stood up tall again, Hinata slowly reached out and took Wakatoshi’s hand again, the two watching each other for a moment. There it was again, that desire to swoop down and kiss Hinata, lift him up and carry him to- Wakatoshi’s eyes jerked to the couch behind the redhead and scolded himself for his thoughts. 

“Sure,” he nodded, letting Hinata lead him into his own home, the redhead humming softly, fingers grasped around Wakatoshi’s palm. Hinata let go as he sank down to the floor to pick out and set up a game, Wakatoshi turning to get drinks. He brought back a bottle of cold water and a tea, letting Hinata choose which he preferred as he sat back on the couch. 

Hinata stood and handed off a controller, turning with his own in his hand to start up the game on the menu screen. They picked characters to play as, Hinata still standing all the while.

“You can sit,” Wakatoshi said finally with a confused frown. Hinata didn’t look or respond for a moment, standing still as he picked a few more custom options. As the game loaded, he finally turned, eyes a little wet and hopeful, cheeks red. Oh. Wakatoshi slowly leaned back against the couch as he felt Hinata’s feelings radiate into his own body, heat rising with just one look. He scratched at his jaw.

Hinata slowly set a knee down next to Wakatoshi’s thick thigh, leaning in and putting a hand by his shoulder. He was quiet, eyes earnestly on Wakatoshi as he slowly leaned in more and more. His hips sank down until he was barely resting on Wakatoshi’s knee, and the man felt a wild stir in his gut. 

“Can I?” breathed the redhead, cheeks pink and freckles bold. Wakatoshi looked his face over slowly, trying to remember sanity, but it fled him in the face of earnest desire. 

“Yes,” he breathed, not even sure if he trusted what he thought Hinata meant, just thinking that the redhead could do anything. One hand dropped and his fingers caressed ever so lightly against Hinata’s knee. The redhead swallowed roughly, looking up and past Wakatoshi for a moment to gather his courage before he slipped into the man’s lap, a small bundle of human heat. Wakatoshi had to bite back a sharp exhale, fingers aching to touch. When Hinata relaxed his back against his chest and sighed softly, Wakatoshi felt himself relax too. In a bold move that was only in response to Hinata’s own bravery, he slipped an arm around the small male and pressed lips to the crown of his head, inhaling for a long second. When he pulled back, Hinata’s only sound was his slow breathing. Neither said a word. 

On the screen, the game beeped that it was loaded, and Hinata whispered with a smile, “Let’s play, Wakatoshi.”

Those words had never sounded so much like a filthy invitation to Wakatoshi’s rotting mind. 

x

Hinata yelped in victory and Wakatoshi slouched back against the couch in defeat. His lap was still very warm, and it had felt so nice that he hadn’t cared so much about winning, but he still put up an act so Hinata wouldn’t suspect. The redhead turned around with a giant grin and teased Wakatoshi for a bit. The other man just smiled kindly at him. 

Hinata’s bravado slowly quieted down and Wakatoshi looked up to find Hinata staring off quietly into space. He wondered what Hinata thought about in that head of his, wishing he could know what he was thinking when he sat on Wakatoshi’s lap or grabbed for his hand. Hinata turned after a few minutes and caught Wakatoshi staring, smiling quietly when Wakatoshi gave an awkward grin. He pressed a hand to Wakatoshi’s chest and sank forward, curling up against him, and Wakatoshi automatically wrapped him up in strong arms. The content sigh that coasted over his neck made him feel hot under the collar. 

“I can’t believe you still have your tie on!” giggled Hinata softly as he reached up, pulling Wakatoshi’s navy and gold striped tie loose, lobbing it to the end of the couch to Wakatoshi’s slight dismay. The two top buttons of his shirt came undone next, Hinata nuzzling into Wakatoshi’s bare neck. A tremble arose in big hands as warm breath slipped over bare collar bones. 

“Hinata,” Wakatoshi asked in a sudden effort to distract himself from Hinata’s breath on him, stirring him up. Hinata hummed, a vibration to delicate skin that helped nothing. “How long did you plan to stay tonight?”

Hinata slowly sat up, eyes wary and lips pulled down into a slight frown. “I’m sorry, do you need me to head out soon-“

“No!” Wakatoshi frowned now too. He hadn’t meant it like that. He scratched at his scalp and diverted his eyes in an attempt to sort his words. It was hard to look at Hinata and think straight. Hands tightened on slim hips, but Wakatoshi had a hard time saying the right words.

“I don’t want you... to head out,” he murmured finally, cheeks reddening in slight frustration. 

Hinata was quiet on his lap, two hands on Wakatoshi’s chest and warm eyes watching the other. “Why did you ask, Wakatoshi?” Hinata whispered carefully. 

Olive eyes slipped back up to Hinata, a little wider, and Wakatoshi pressed his lips together as he tried to think, tried not to blurt out his inner thoughts. “I didn’t want you to suddenly say you had to leave... or keep you, if you had to... go.” He swallowed and frowned, eyebrows knitting together. He wished he could be brave and smooth, but he was a hopeless, blundering fool. 

“Oh,” whispered Hinata quietly, a smile blooming that was so pretty that Wakatoshi felt his heart thunder on uneven beats for a few moments. “I don’t have to leave any time soon,” he whispered with that gorgeous smile. Wakatoshi’s hands tightened on Hinata’s hips again and he pulled the other male closer, shuffling up again to a good sitting position instead of being slouched back. Hinata looked Wakatoshi’s face over, quiet, smiling softly. 

“Wakatoshi, I’ll stay until you ask me to leave,” whispered Hinata, and suddenly the air in the room was thick and hot, Wakatoshi’s heart speeding up in his chest until it was pounding against his rib cage and Hinata’s hand. Wakatoshi begged for courage, courage, but he felt hopelessly shy. 

_Don’t ever leave, stay with me forever._

“Wakatoshi,” keened Hinata softly, head tilting so seductively that Wakatoshi felt it was cheating. When Wakatoshi didn’t respond, Hinata called his name again, a little more needy this time. “Tell me what you want,” he whispered a little breathlessly, their noses almost touching, and Wakatoshi wondered if he had time to ask for every little thing he desired from this angelic being. 

But one thing stood out to Wakatoshi, one thing he’d been aching for since nearly the beginning. He loosened his lips and formed the words in his mind, but the sound that came from his throat was dry. “-iss.”

“Hmm?” whispered Hinata, and god damn it. Wakatoshi’s fingers squeezed into supple flesh, knowing Hinata knew what he wanted, or at the very least could do whatever _he_ wanted to, and it would be okay with Wakatoshi. 

Wakatoshi cleared his throat, swallowed, tried again. He had to turn away because he couldn’t look at Hinata when he asked. “A kiss...”

A hand pressed warm to Wakatoshi’s cheek and suddenly Hinata was right against his ear, whispering sinfully, teasing. “Wakatoshi,” he crooned. 

“Please,” Wakatoshi whimpered, “a kiss, Hinata.”

“Come here,” Hinata keened into his ear and Wakatoshi melted to nothing, head jerking back to Hinata, memory of any movement gone when Hinata’s plump lips sank against his own. Wakatoshi inhaled sharply, pulling Hinata closer again until they were chest to chest, trying, wishing to gobble Hinata up whole. 

It was a simple kiss, just the most basic of first kisses, but by the time Hinata pulled away, Wakatoshi’s brain had ceased to function. Hinata’s thumb pet over his cheekbone and skin, his brown eyes warm and gooey, his lips a little bit pinker. They were a breath away, and Wakatoshi carefully licked at his own mouth, eyes glued to Hinata’s. They jerked up in messy movements and the moment Wakatoshi locked eyes with Hinata’s brown, he was breathing out, “Again.”

This time Hinata came in slow, tilting his head, lips molding to Wakatoshi and it was like a slice of heaven on earth. Wakatoshi’s hands trembled, wanting to touch, to explore soft skin but the kiss itself was making his brain malfunction. When Hinata moved his lips against Wakatoshi’s, lights exploded behind shut lids and Wakatoshi thought he had never kissed anyone and had it feel so... perfect. As Hinata kissed at him, Wakatoshi slowly recalled that he should be doing something, too. His lips moved dumbly, trying to recall how people did this. He’d kissed girls before, but no one had ever left him feeling so dumb about it. He pulled back suddenly with a groan and a frown, thinking Hinata was ready to throw in the towel only the find the other smiling so sweetly, lips so pink and glossy that it should be a crime. 

“Hinata-“ the taller male choked out. He clenched into the back of Hinata’s shirt, desires raging inside himself. He felt like a teenager, stupid hormones trying to dictate his life. He felt laughable, ashamed, but Hinata had a fire in his eyes that burned away Wakatoshi’s bad thoughts. “I’m sorry...” he murmured as he sat stiffly, wanting so much more but hating the thought of Hinata getting put off by his horrible abilities. 

Hinata slowly licked at his lips, a sinful sight, a soft sigh leaking out past upturned lips. Then white teeth sank into a plush bottom lip, Hinata shivering in Wakatoshi’s lap. His eyes glittered, and Wakatoshi was momentarily gut-punched. With rosy cheeks, Hinata looked like a seductive dream come to life. A thumb caressed softly over Wakatoshi’s cheek and he waited for Hinata to speak. 

“Please don’t apologize,” murmured a sexy Hinata, so vulnerable in that moment, so sweet. Wakatoshi felt like a lump of clay, wanting Hinata to mold him into whatever best suited Hinata’s needs. “That was wonderful.”

Wakatoshi choked out a knee-jerk denial, but Hinata was smiling so sweetly that he couldn’t actually say the words. “I swear... I’m usually better,” he whispered pitifully, which only made Hinata smile wider. 

“I’ll take it as a compliment,” he giggled, and Wakatoshi instantly replied, “You should.”

Cheeks went red and Wakatoshi looked away for a moment, a moment too long.

“You can ask me to do that anytime.”

Olive eyes shifted back to bright brown, Wakatoshi unsure he’d heard correctly. The problem with that was that he wanted to kiss Hinata all the time, even now, even when he was supposed to be sleeping or working, every single minute. He would have to gather himself first, though, so he could make it good for Hinata too. He couldn’t make a fool of himself again. 

“You can ask me anything, Wakatoshi,” Hinata crooned. 

“I don’t want to overstep and violate the contract,” Wakatoshi murmured, heat in his loins. If he could, there were so many things he’d want to ask for.

Hinata slowly pursed his lips, considering. 

“You have to tell me,” murmured Wakatoshi, “when it’s too much and I should stop.”

A hand caressed again over Wakatoshi’s cheek. “Okay,” nodded Hinata. “I’ll tell you.”

Hands tightened on Hinata’s hips and Wakatoshi breathed painfully, “Promise me.”

“I promise,” Hinata whispered back easily. Wakatoshi quietly observed the twinkle in Hinata’s eyes. 

Wakatoshi’s demise began at that moment, for he was too blind to realize that Hinata would never tell him to stop, that Hinata didn’t care an ounce about a contract he’d signed. Hinata wanted Wakatoshi, but Wakatoshi was too dumb to see.

Wakatoshi’s phone rang as he was trying to read Hinata’s mind via his eyes, his stare broken as he realized it was a little embarrassing how deep he’d been staring. He looked down at the phone on the coffee table and frowned, but he knew he had to take the call; he couldn’t ignore it any longer. Hinata smiled softly as Wakatoshi rubbed at his eyes and regretfully said, “I’m sorry, I have to take this.”

The redhead slid off his lap and Wakatoshi rose too, thinking he’d just go into the other room for a moment, that Hinata would stay until he was done. He reached for his phone and headed towards his bedroom as he answered. 

“Hello, Mom,” he sighed, but something pulled at his shirt as he passed the front door. His head whipped around, shocked to see Hinata standing there with his backpack in hand, smiling sweetly. He gave a small wave as his mother was shouting his ear off on the other end, but Wakatoshi was more focused on Hinata. “Leaving?” he mouthed, stressed features slipping to disappointment. Hinata nodded softly, smile sad. But he leaned up and pressed a kiss to Wakatoshi’s cheek before skipping backwards, motioning for Wakatoshi to call him. He pulled his shoes on as Wakatoshi watched, slipping out the front door with one last wave behind. Wakatoshi sighed, his mother pausing her tirade. 

“Well, Wakatoshi, what’s gotten into you?” she asked with sudden sadness. He turned back to his living room and sank into his couch. 

“Mom, I’m tired. I don’t like going on blind dates and trying to make a meaningful connection like that.” It wasn’t such a cheap thing that it could be created so easily, he thought. With Hinata it was felt so organic, but everything else pushed on to him felt plastic and fake. 

“Darling, how else do you plan to find a good wife?! You’ve shown no interest in looking yourself, and you’re going to be-“

“I know, Mom, I know I’m old, but please just give me a little bit more time.” Wakatoshi ground his teeth, work and this issue piling up. 

“Can you at least tell me what you didn’t like about Yuki-?”

“Mom,” sighed Wakatoshi. 

_I didn’t like her because she’s not Hinata._

His mom went silent for a moment, and then she asked slowly, “Do you have someone that you’re trying to pursue, Wakatoshi?”

Wakatoshi rubbed at his weary eyes. Answering that would bring questions he didn’t want to respond to. He couldn’t think of his relationship with Hinata as anything as easy as Wakatoshi just pursuing him. After all, it was strictly contractual, and anything else was just Hinata’s kindness. 

“Just give me some time for now, Mom,” was all he said just before he hung up and sank back against his couch. 

He missed Hinata. Was he just stringing himself along, playing with his own emotions by doing these things with Hinata? Was he prepared for the hurt and rejection that would surely come one day? Wakatoshi wanted to believe he’d be fine, that he was okay with something that had no strings attached, but he knew himself all too well for that lie. 

Still, he loved Hinata, and for the first time in his life, he wanted to go after something he desired. Every other relationship, the girls had always chased him, but Hinata was so different. 

Wakatoshi knew only one thing for certain: he was very, very screwed.


	4. Chapter 4

Wakatoshi pulled the door open the next night, heart soaring to see Hinata standing on his doorstep in overalls and a pastel blue jacket. He waved the other inside, cheeks going a little red with the sight of Hinata looking so cute. He heard shoes come off and slippers on, a heavy bag set down. He turned, expecting to find Hinata making his way inside, but the redhead was reaching for him, taking his hand and smiling. He stood on the step up into the house, and still he had to reach up on tippy toes to kiss Wakatoshi’s cheek. Fingers tightened on his big hands, Wakatoshi too caught off guard to react until Hinata was already flitting away. Wakatoshi glanced at Hinata’s backpack and asked dumbly, “I thought you needed help with homework.”

Hinata spun around and grinned, already so at home that he was grabbing his own glass and drink. “I do, but let’s not worry about that right away.”

Wakatoshi quietly accepted that, happy to know Hinata hadn’t _just_ come to study. When he’d texted Hinata earlier, it had been with the full intention of inviting him over, but Hinata had been the one to ask for homework help, which was fine with Wakatoshi since it helped him seem less needy and lonely. He’d made a quick dinner of soup and salad, and Hinata was already poking around in various pots, eyes glistening. 

“It’s not ready yet,” said Wakatoshi as he came up behind the redhead, picking up a ladle to stir with. 

“That’s okay!” grinned Hinata with a huff as he hefted himself up on the counter. 

“Be careful,” Wakatoshi told him, but Hinata didn’t seem worried around the hot stove and pots. He studied Wakatoshi with no shame, quiet. 

“Wakatoshi, how old are you?”

A head of brown hair whipped around so fast that the man thought he had whiplash. He stared at Hinata, but the other was smiling softly. Wakatoshi barely even registered the hand coming to rest on his arm. 

“Old,” he tried first, but Hinata just laughed that off and asked again. “...34” At least for a few more days... This weekend he’d be 35. 

And while Wakatoshi was having an internal crisis over Hinata knowing his age, the redhead just said simply, “That’s not so old.”

Wakatoshi blinked at him in a state of shock, Hinata calmly sipping at his tea. 

“What do you do for a living?”

“I’m the branch manager of a financial institution.” Wakatoshi scratched at his scalp, frowning, wondering why Hinata suddenly cared to know. 

“Ah, that explains the apartment and car.”

Wakatoshi didn’t even spend as much money as he made. He could easily afford a nicer place or a newer car, but Wakatoshi had never felt the need to show off in those ways, preferring things that were familiar and comfortable. There was only one thing he could foresee himself spending all of his money on, and it sat innocently on his counter, humming into a glass of tea. 

“What about you, what do you want to do when you graduate?” Wakatoshi asked slowly, hating all the focus on himself. 

“Hmm... I don’t know. My dad told me getting a business degree was always a safe bet, so I guess I’m doing that,” shrugged Hinata, but Wakatoshi was frowning. 

“What do you _want_ to do, though?” Wakatoshi had never really cared either, but lately he was finding himself wondering if he could have chosen a different path. “Business isn’t all that fun,” he sighed wearily. Brown eyes evaluated him, taking in Wakatoshi’s knitted brows and the frown wrinkling his lips. 

Hinata went surprisingly quiet, Wakatoshi’s eyes refocusing on him in shock. The redhead was staring off into the distance, expression blank, eyes a little glassy. 

“Hinata?” he asked as he reached forward, and suddenly hands were grabbing at his shirt and, with surprising strength, Hinata pulled Wakatoshi into a hug. 

“I don’t know what I want to do,” he murmured quietly. “The future is scary. So much could happen, you know. Why do I have to decide at 20 what I want to do with the rest of my life?”

“You can always change your mind later,” Wakatoshi said, but he himself knew that was very hard to do. “It’s always good to have a career to fall back on.” That was a bunch of baloney too. He was just regurgitating what people had told him, when he’d struggled like this. What were the words he’d wanted to hear back then?

“You can take it slow. You have your whole life ahead of you to figure out what you want to do. It doesn’t need to be right now.”

Hinata was quiet for a while, and Wakatoshi awkwardly stroked at his back, other hand holding him up on the counter so he didn’t lean too far into Hinata. Still, his heart was racing. 

“Do you like your job?”

Wakatoshi hadn’t expected it, but at this point, he thought he should. He smiled softly and laid his forehead to Hinata’s shoulder. “No, not really, but it’s a job. I don’t really have any aspirations anymore. At this point, the best I can do is cement myself into my company.”

“That sounds depressing,” murmured Hinata, and Wakatoshi silently agreed that it was. But when he thought of the fact that he’d met Hinata through a coworker, that this job helped provide the money for the service, for the food, for all the things Hinata could ever want... A selfish man would tell Hinata not to worry, that he would provide for him, but that was no better than paying for sex, in Wakatoshi’s opinion, so he kept his mouth shut. 

“You’ll figure out what you want to do with your life. Just... make it something really good,” he said as he pulled back with a smile. A hand slid to his cheek and Wakatoshi went still, brown eyes inspecting his own. Satisfied with whatever he saw there, Hinata released Wakatoshi with a smile. The pot beside them started boiling and Wakatoshi was thankful for the distraction from his throbbing heart. 

“I’ll grab the bowls,” Hinata said, suddenly cheery again, and Wakatoshi wished he could remember fondly his own college years and the struggles that had come with it. Hinata would question himself many more times, but Wakatoshi hoped he could always be there to offer (albeit terrible) support. 

They ate to a soundtrack of Hinata’s jokes and compliments, which Wakatoshi rather enjoyed, the man sipping on a glass of wine as Hinata chugged down tea and water. 

“Can I use your bathroom?” he asked after his fourth glass, realizing with a laugh that maybe drinking so much had been a bad idea. Wakatoshi explained where the bathroom was and then sank into the couch, eyes shut for a moment, introspective. He wasn’t sure if he liked his life, at least not up until now, but he was thankful for the success he’d had and the comfort the job had provided him with. Wether he indulged or not, it was nice to know he’d always have money if he needed it. He could support Hinata, very easily in fact, he thought with a crooked smile, but Hinata had to learn his own way, didn't he? As much as Wakatoshi wanted to, he couldn’t rob Hinata of not only his present but also his future, and of the choices that would shape both. 

He shocked back to the present as a weight settled over him quietly, hands on his chest. Hinata had silently returned, and he was currently tucking his small body into Wakatoshi’s lap, head under his chin.

“Hinata?” Wakatoshi was unsure how to take this quiet affection. Was Hinata feeling uncomfortable with him and just trying to reel it back to the foundations of their relationship? But Hinata could have just sat next to him, so why his lap...? Wakatoshi’s cheeks turned red the longer he dwelled on it, and Hinata was quiet. 

“What are you thinking about, Wakatoshi?” Hinata asked suddenly, softly. Wakatoshi frowned, hummed in confusion. 

“You always look so introspective and pained when I leave you alone, and I wish I could know what you’re worried about so I can fix it for you.”

Wakatoshi smiled, thinking that if only Hinata knew, he’d run away, not just from the indecent thoughts, but from the daily stress Wakatoshi was put under. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around Hinata and murmured, “Just enjoy being 20 and carefree and don’t worry so much about an old bat’s regrets and worries.”

Hinata sat up sharply, arching into Wakatoshi’s touch as frowned at the other. “Don’t make me sound young and stupid.”

Wakatoshi blinked. “You’re not. I envy you, actually.”

Hinata turned his face away and frowned deeper. Wakatoshi’s heart dropped in his chest. 

“I’m saying,” whispered Hinata, “don’t make it sound like you’re so ancient.” 

Wakatoshi watched with wide eyes as Hinata’s lips trembled and pursed together, as his hands shook against Wakatoshi’s chest. Ah, he would pay all the money in the world to know what Hinata was thinking. Slowly, he reached up and caressed his thumb over Hinata’s cheek, unsure of how to comfort the redhead appropriately. Eyes fluttered back to him, and he pulled back a little, shocked at his own courage, mumbling an apology. 

Two hands whipped up, however, and pulled Wakatoshi’s big palm back to Hinata’s cheek, and the man watched with wide eyes and rising blood pressure as Hinata snuggled into his hand. Brown eyes fluttered closed and Wakatoshi watched the worries melt off Hinata’s pretty face. 

“You’re too young to worry so much,” Wakatoshi murmured. He wished he could lessen Hinata’s worries. Was he adding onto them? 

“Wakatoshi,” whispered Hinata. “I want you to tell me what you’re thinking when you can. I can’t read you at all, and sometimes I wonder if... I’m overstepping. Or causing you more worries.”

Funny how they worried about the same things. Wakatoshi wanted to laugh at the irony. Hinata was too young to worry about an old man like him, and he wished he could make Hinata not do so, but on the other hand, it felt nice, to have someone care and worry so. He wasn’t sure why Hinata cared, but he couldn’t find it in himself to discourage it. 

“I’ll try...” whispered Wakatoshi, even as he bottled up his current thoughts. Brown eyes cracked open and suddenly Hinata was so close, his breath on Wakatoshi’s lips. 

“Tell me what you want, Wakatoshi. What can I do for you?”

Wakatoshi’s hand tightened, and he could think of so many things, but it wasn’t Hinata’s job to- 

“I want to,” murmured Hinata as he nuzzled his nose softly to Wakatoshi’s, stalling all intelligent thought. Olive eyes stared down at Hinata and right now he could only think of one thing. 

“Can I kiss you, Hinata?”

“Yeah,” whispered a breathless redhead, elation sparking in his eyes. “You don’t have to ask.”

Words were swallowed by lips sealing and Wakatoshi thought somehow this kiss was better than the first two. Hinata wrapped arms around his neck, nuzzled into his hand and lips. Wakatoshi slid his other hand over a thin shirt before freezing. 

“It’s okay,” hushed Hinata, but Wakatoshi shook his head. 

“Hinata, can I... your back?”

Hinata huffed, said, “You don’t have to ask every little thing,” trying to kiss Wakatoshi again.

“I want to be respectful-“ Wakatoshi said around lips on his own, firing him up. “I don’t want to-“

“You won’t!” finalized Hinata as he pulled the hand on his cheek to his ribs, pressing it there before sliding his own hands back to Wakatoshi’s neck, fingers into the collar of his shirt to touch bare skin. Wakatoshi shivered as the kiss deepened. 

With his hand on a fluttering rib cage, his other slowly sliding up and down to feel Hinata, he wondered how he’d gotten here, with a cutie in his lap, telling him to do what he wanted without asking. It wasn’t like Wakatoshi actually could, but the idea of it alone made his brain malfunction. Hinata was so much more exciting than anyone else had ever been. Was it their age difference, because it felt a little risqué? No, it was so much more than that. It was the feelings and the warmth of Hinata’s body, his boldness, the ease of their interactions. Wakatoshi always had to try with everyone else, but with Hinata it was like breathing. Hinata made him laugh, smile, made him happy with his presence alone. And now Wakatoshi wanted to inhale the happiness and make it his own, make it only his. Selfish desires trailed behind his fingertips as he touched Hinata’s back, as he ached for more. Hinata was feeling up his neck and shoulders quite liberally, and yet Wakatoshi couldn’t bring himself to touch more than this. 

When a tongue slipped into his mouth, he actually gasped and pulled back. Hinata’s lids were half-lidded, lips so yummy and red, cheeks flushed. Slowly, he blinked and sat up a little straighter. He licked at his lips, like daring Wakatoshi to say he didn’t want more. 

“Homework,” choked out the taller man as a roll of Hinata’s hips reminded him sharply of his filthy desire. Hinata’s lips pulled to a frown, Wakatoshi trying to ignore it, but he couldn’t for long. His hand slipped to Hinata’s neck as he looked at him, wanting to give Hinata the whole world but feeling very incapable of actually doing so without express permission. Still, he pulled out all of his courage as he pulled Hinata back, kissing him again, slow and languid, making sure Hinata understood how much it meant. Wakatoshi curled his tongue around Hinata’s as an apology, happy with the redhead’s eager response as he hugged around Wakatoshi’s thick neck. Hinata was so warm pressed against him, his heart thumping against Wakatoshi’s chest. 

It took everything in him to pull away, to stop, but Hinata looked a little more satisfied this time. He stood to grab his book bag, telling Wakatoshi to stay put as he refilled his wine glass and cup of water for himself. He handed Wakatoshi his wine and then unceremoniously shuffled himself between two meaty thighs, Wakatoshi too concerned about spilling his beverage in his surprise to do anything about it. Hinata pulled Wakatoshi forward against his back with one of his arms, wrapping it around his slim waist. 

“Let’s study like this,” he said decisively, and Wakatoshi didn’t have the heart or the guts to deny this gorgeous man his request. Hinata spread out books, notebooks and his laptop before them, seeming disconcertingly unperturbed with the current situation. 

Wakatoshi drank his wine and then set his glass away as he explained business models and good management, and the more they got into it, the less worried Wakatoshi felt about what he was doing at every moment. His hand tightened on Hinata’s waist unconsciously and his thumb would rub on a soft tummy. When Hinata was concentrating or typing something down, Wakatoshi would press his cheek to soft hair or lean in enough to inhale shampoo scents. He was getting drunk more off of Hinata than the wine he’d had, and by the time Hinata pushed his books away and turned in the man’s lap to cage him in again, Wakatoshi willingly let himself sink back, pulling Hinata with him. When he kissed his lips softly, it was with the ease of years and years of a relationship they didn’t have yet. Hinata smiled so beautifully that Wakatoshi found himself saying so aloud. Cheeks burned red and freckles shone, Wakatoshi caressing a thumb over brown beauty marks. 

“So, I guess it takes a little college homework to get you this relaxed?” Hinata said with a cute pout, making Wakatoshi smile. 

“Hinata,” whispered the man, his tongue still a little tied as he thought, _No, this is all you._ He tried instead to convey it with a stroke to Hinata’s hot cheek, a kiss to pouty lips. 

“Wakatoshi,” husked Hinata as he rubbed himself against the man’s chest and thighs, trying to be coy. “Tell me what you want, please.”

Wakatoshi’s lips slowly pressed together, a knit forming between his eyebrows. What did he want? How did he delicately and slowly ask for all of Hinata? Instead, he placed hands on slim hips, thumbs rubbing just under the edge of Hinata’s pants. 

“Can I touch you?” he breathed reverently, in the presence of an angel. 

“Yes,” hushed Hinata. “Please.”

Thumbs slid in between the buttons on Hinata’s overall, under the shirt tucked underneath. It was hard to touch Hinata in the overalls, but Wakatoshi was too invested now to be so easily deterred, or should he think it was a good thing? Hinata leaned up and unclipped one side of his overalls, letting the side sag down, pulling up at his shirt with heat in his eyes. Wakatoshi pulled away for a moment, but Hinata yanked his hand back with hot, huffing breaths. Wakatoshi’s palm ascended on soft, warm skin and he forgot all of his objections, pulling Hinata back to him as his hand sunk in deeper to forbidden territory, Hinata’s bare back and sides. The moan he let out was illegal too, as he sank to Wakatoshi’s lips with a fervor. Wakatoshi forgot why he should object as he pulled Hinata’s hips closer with his other hand, resting it on a supple, clothed butt cheek. 

Hinata’s mouth was silky and warm inside, and he tasted like tea and soup, which were arguably not bad tastes at all. His tongue was agile and slippery, and he was very good at using it to stir Wakatoshi up, licking at teeth and gums and his tongue. Wakatoshi flexed his hand and recalled the soft skin beneath his hand, explored a little bit further with sudden gusto. Hinata was incredibly wonderful everywhere Wakatoshi had touched so far. When Hinata undid his second overall strap and pulled Wakatoshi’s button up open, he was too far gone to see where this was headed. He joined his second hand to explore under Hinata’s shirt, feeling over hardened nipple buds and too-petite waist lines. Hinata crooned and rolled his body, reminding Wakatoshi every once in a while that he was so achingly hard in his slacks. 

“Wakatoshi,” begged Hinata in heavy pants, “tell me what you want.”

As easy as it would be to just say, “You”, at this point, Wakatoshi instead just kept kissing Hinata, not trusting his judgement or his voice at all anymore. He would have to stop this soon or he really would go too far. When it came to the danger point, Wakatoshi had to wrench Hinata off of him. 

“Hinata,” Wakatoshi called, trying to rid him of the hazy look in his eyes. He was so pretty, his face a little sloppy with saliva, lips so pink and still parted. Slowly, Hinata straightened up and pulled his lips together, wiping his face. Wakatoshi quietly fixed his shirt and overalls. 

“I’m sorry. That was too far-“

“No,” hushed Hinata. “It’s not too far if you want to do it, Wakatoshi.”

Brown eyes met olive. Wakatoshi frowned. “But there’s a contract.”

Hinata went quiet for a moment. On a fiery whisper, he said, “I told you I’d tell you if you were going too far.”

“You don’t think tonight was too far?” Wakatoshi asked quietly, regret already trying to crawl up his spine. 

“No,” hushed Hinata in breathlessness. “I’ll tell you,” he said again, and foolishly, Wakatoshi believed it. 

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Just do it, already,” grinned Hinata as their lips met again, Wakatoshi flaring his fingers wide against Hinata’s small back. He had to trust that Hinata would tell him if it was too far. He had to stop being so afraid and be a man. He kissed Hinata sweetly and tenderly, and when Hinata asked him again what he wanted, Wakatoshi murmured, “Stay with me for a little while longer.”

x

Wakatoshi was running late again, but what else was new? He ran to the elevator in his apartment building, spamming the button like that would make the thing come faster or rise up any quicker. He’d never been so anxious in his life; he’d even sent a double text to apologize, and he imagined Hinata had laughed. He rushed into the hallway and he could already see him, doing homework of all things in front of Wakatoshi’s apartment. 

“I’m sorry I’m late, but really?” huffed Wakatoshi, out of breath by the time he got to Hinata. He might look it, but he was hardly physically fit. Hinata looked up and giggled at the man as he panted, slouched over and supporting himself on his knees. 

“I thought if you’d be a while, I’d make myself productive.”

Wakatoshi looked at his watch and sighed. “Sorry to make you wait.” He stood and unlocked his front door, helping Hinata with his books. “Did you make any progress?”

“No,” laughed Hinata. “I was too excited about seeing you,” he added coyly, and Wakatoshi stopped himself, thinking it was way too early in the evening to be starting this. He watched Hinata set up in his living room, slowly pulling off his own shoes and jacket and setting his things neatly aside. 

“I’ll be right back,” he murmured, something just occurring to him. He loosened his tie and made his way quietly into his bedroom, putting his tie away. When he turned, he yelped, shocked to see Hinata peering eagerly around his doorway. 

“Sorry, I wanted to see it again,” Hinata grinned.

“You-“ began Wakatoshi, but then he paused, words left unspoken. Hinata was grinning from ear to ear as he looked around, not paying Wakatoshi any mind. The man sighed and stepped into his bathroom with a change of clothes as Hinata rummaged neatly around his bedroom. It had been a long work day, and usually Wakatoshi wouldn’t care, but today he wanted to get out of his slacks and button up as soon as possible and relax. Everything felt restrictive, and Hinata was making him feel more at home here than he sometimes did when he was by himself. He stepped out when he’d changed, putting away his work clothes as Hinata came to stand by him with a smile. It reminded Wakatoshi of the thought that had occurred to him earlier. 

“Say, did your work schedule change? You’ve been here most nights-“

“I quit,” Hinata said with no frills about it. Wakatoshi blinked down wide at him. Hinata shrugged. “It was keeping me from things I wanted to do, and from focusing on school,” he said vaguely, and suddenly Wakatoshi stood up a little straighter. He couldn’t say he disliked it; after all, the thought of Hinata snuggling with others had become less and less appealing. But Hinata also had to be smart, and think about money and incurring too many student loans. 

“I can tell you’re stressing for me from down here. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

Wakatoshi frowned, lips pulling together. “I just want you to be smart about your future...” he murmured like he’d been accused of theft. He scratched at his forehead, but Hinata was quick to pull his arm down and push his lips into a smile. 

“Don’t worry so much about me, Wakatoshi. I’m doing okay. The job was more for stress relief than actual momentary perks. My parents send me a check every month for food, and everything else is taken care of via the school.” 

“Then you don’t need stress relief anymore?” Wakatoshi asked, confused, to which Hinata just gave him a look, before grabbing onto his arm and laughing. 

“I’ve got perfectly good stress relief right here, with the added bonus that I like to hang out with you too.”

Wakatoshi frowned, not sure whether that was a compliment or a snub, but when Hinata pulled him down and kissed his cheek, everything was forgotten. 

“What’s for dinner? Or should we order out?” Hinata asked as he traipsed out of the bedroom, Wakatoshi following dumbly behind. Hinata turned, brown eyes roaming Wakatoshi over as they walked. 

“What?” Wakatoshi asked, self-conscious as he scrubbed at his face. 

Hinata grinned. “Just glad to see that you’re starting to relax more around me.”

Wakatoshi stuffed his big hands into his dorm pant’s pockets and sighed softly, thinking he could say the same, though Hinata had always been particularly relaxed from the beginning. But there was a different quality to it now; Hinata seemed okay with taking up more space, with making more of a mark on things. Like the way he’d spread out his school things on the dining room table, or had followed Wakatoshi to his bedroom to inspect. Speaking of that “again” comment, Hinata had been in Wakatoshi’s room before, hadn’t he? He’d nearly forgotten in the moment. The man hadn’t thought Hinata would have been so interested to look around. 

“I can make something real quick,” he murmured as he rummaged around in his fridge and pantry. Hinata scared him yet again when he was right there behind him, quiet as a mouse. Hinata giggled at Wakatoshi’s anger, which made it melt away to embarrassment. 

“You’re too tiny,” the man huffed, never having seen it as a problem, really, and Hinata probably very well knew that as he slipped in between Wakatoshi’s arms as he looked in the fridge again. Wakatoshi was suddenly very concentrated on a particularly curly chunk of red hair that bounced and swayed, a hint of bed head that hadn’t mellowed during the day. 

“Ooh, we could do something simple like eggs and bacon! Do you have stuff to make pancakes?”

Wakatoshi didn’t hear anything until Hinata started pulling things out of his refrigerator and piling it in his arms. 

“Toast would be good too; do you have any jelly?”

“Hey, hey,” murmured Wakatoshi as Hinata unloaded half of his fridge onto the kitchen counters, but was easily disarmed when the redhead beamed at him. 

“Come on, I’ll help you!”

Wakatoshi tried to act displeased as he shut the refrigerator door, pulling out a few pans and a waffle maker he’d never used. Hinata’s eyes went so big and bright at the sight of it that Wakatoshi didn’t even mind so much that the batter would have to be made from scratch, or that it would be a pain to not only learn how to use but to clean. Hinata had him wrapped around that tiny little pinky of his, and Wakatoshi couldn’t say he cared when Hinata was so... perfect. 

Hinata was a life force inside the kitchen. Wakatoshi felt like he lost half of his hair as he tried to keep Hinata safe from splattering bacon grease and pouring too much sugar into the waffle batter. But still, when Hinata sat in front of the waffle maker with flour on his cheeks, his hair a messy halo, Wakatoshi couldn’t help but laugh. He’d never had to reckon with someone like Hinata before, and if it was anyone else, he would have killed them, but Hinata was somehow excused from all anger and wrath. 

Wakatoshi found himself wishing Hinata could just be his already, knowing very well that as comfy and cozy as all of this seemed, Hinata was still someone he should honor, despite the annulation of any formal contracts, never even once realizing that the contract he’d signed hadn’t applied for a long while now. He told himself to treat Hinata no different, because Wakatoshi, the big duntz, was incapable of imagining that Hinata wanted to be with him as something more than convenient cuddle buddies or a study partner. 

With plates piled high and the coffee table cleared, they were ready to finally eat. Wakatoshi wet a towel and grabbed Hinata before he could run off, however, setting him sternly on the kitchen counter to wipe his face. Hinata laughed and giggled, Wakatoshi warning him that if he got egg yolk on his couch, there would be hell to pay. 

“Wakatoshi,” giggled Hinata. The man looked up, a hand gripping at his cheek and suddenly Hinata was kissing him. It left Wakatoshi speechless as Hinata pulled back with a cheating grin. 

“I’ll be a good boy,” he promised with too much sex appeal to be innocent at all, and Wakatoshi had to just stand there and try to regain his senses as Hinata hopped off the counter and slipped into the living room with a bubbling laugh. 

Wakatoshi tossed the towel down and huffed as he followed the other, sitting down, pouting a little. However, it was all forgotten minutes later when Hinata keened in delight at the taste of his food, melting against Wakatoshi’s solid body. 

“As always, it’s so good,” he moaned, Wakatoshi going a little red. 

“Well, you helped-“

“I feel like I was more of a hindrance. You can admit it.” Brown eyes looked up at Wakatoshi, face solemn, and Wakatoshi slowly shook his head, caught by Hinata. 

“I like... having you in the kitchen with me,” he said softly, olive eyes stuck like glue to Hinata’s angelic face. Oh, he was so cute, damn it. 

“That look makes me feel like you’d let me get away with anything,” whispered Hinata as he peered up at Wakatoshi. The man had to take a step back and evaluate his feelings, finding, indeed, that Hinata wasn’t far off at all. He sighed, turning to his food with a small smile. 

“Well...” was all he commented. They ate their fill in silence. 

Wakatoshi cleared away their dishes in the end, happy to let Hinata lay on the couch like he’d swallowed an elephant whole, groaning and murmuring about the food. “Did you have any more homework to do?”

“Yeah, but it can wait, too.”

“But you have everything here and out,” Wakatoshi argued, and Hinata complained from the living room. Honestly, Wakatoshi liked helping Hinata with his schoolwork. It made him feel less old, and at least slightly useful. He pulled out a chair once he’d finished with the food and called Hinata over as he began looking over any new notes. Hinata waddled to him, pausing by the man’s knee. It took Wakatoshi a moment to feel the intense stare on him. He turned, surprised. A hand slipped to his neck and rested there, Hinata quiet. 

“Since you’re so determined to do school with me, can I be the selfish one tonight?” 

Wakatoshi paused, blinking, caught again. “Like what?” he asked with a croak to his voice. He winced, but Hinata just smiled at him. 

“First, let’s study,” he said with a smile, crawling to sit on Wakatoshi’s thigh with a coy grin. Wakatoshi had an argument against it brewing, but in the end he just sighed, cheeks red as he shifted Hinata to sit back against his chest, wrapping an arm around him as he rummaged through written notes. He tried to ignore Hinata’s stare at his jaw. 

“You’ll have to concentrate,” Wakatoshi sighed, and Hinata giggled. 

“Yes, sir!” 

Still, Wakatoshi was glad when Hinata seemed to take the studying seriously. 

Two hours later, he yawned big and loud and slid against Wakatoshi’s chest, done. 

“You did good,” Wakatoshi told him as he cleaned up what he could of Hinata’s books. The redhead turned in his lap and clung around his neck. “Take me to the couch. Let’s watch a movie and cuddle.”

It felt like old times; Wakatoshi carried Hinata in his arms to the couch and Hinata told him to pick what he wanted to watch. Wakatoshi realized ten minutes in why that was, as Hinata buried his face into Wakatoshi’s neck, slowly relaxing against his chest. He was probably dead tired. Wakatoshi quietly stroked at his back as he watched the movie by himself. 

Hinata traced small patterns over Wakatoshi’s chest, unbeknownst to the man, trying to figure out how much he could ask for without going too far for Wakatoshi. While Hinata was not as blind to Wakatoshi’s fondness of him as the other was, both were still cautious in the things they would ask for aloud, whatever their true desires might be. As the movie came to an end, Hinata had finally made up his mind to try one thing and see where that went, go from there. He was aware of the fact that Wakatoshi needed to be introduced to things slowly, one at a time. It was something that made him chuckle. 

As the credits began to roll, Hinata began to hum softly, drawing slow attention to himself. He wrapped his fingers around one of Wakatoshi’s beefy ones, pulling a hand to his hip as he curled his back to look up at Wakatoshi through long lashes. The man shifted on the couch, sensing instantly that something was different from before. He watched Hinata quietly, fingers flexing ever so slightly once in a while on a slim hip. Hinata was warm against him, and the finger that had been tracing soft patterns had been joined by others, all now kneading at Wakatoshi’s chest. When Hinata began to purr against Wakatoshi, the man felt quite sure he might lose his self control in a moment. 

“Hinata?” he asked awkwardly, unsure of what to make of all of this, not wanting to assume the places his brain was taking him were correct. When soft lips alighted his neck, he shivered.

“You said I could be selfish,” Hinata reminded slowly, and Wakatoshi nodded back just as slowly. 

Hinata’s hand suddenly slipped back to Wakatoshi’s wrist and in a second he was sitting up, thighs cradling Wakatoshi’s own hips as he sat on the man’s lap, two very sensitive areas pressed flush together. Hinata pulled Wakatoshi’s hand around, teased fingers under his own shirt as he pressed the warm palm to his thigh, right at the crux of his groin. Wakatoshi’s eyes jerked down and he stared in disbelief as Hinata held his hand there, fingertips just barely touching warm, bare skin at the edge of Hinata’s jeans’ waistband. 

“Wakatoshi,” murmured Hinata in a low, breathy voice, “I want you to touch me.”

Wakatoshi choked out a shocked sound, olive eyes jerking back up to meet Hinata’s serious gaze. _What does that mean? Don’t tease me!_ , he wanted to beg, but his mouth refused to form words. 

“Wakatoshi,” Hinata murmured again. “Please. I want you to touch my body.”

Wakatoshi could feel the heat rising, could feel just how vulnerable he was with Hinata pressed right against his cock, which was already beginning to respond. He swallowed roughly, his mind still trying to set up caution checks, but Hinata’s eyes were slowly tearing through all of Wakatoshi’s sanity. He slowly moved his hand up a little higher, fingertips coasting over the softest belly he’d ever felt. His own was nothing remarkable to him, but Hinata so far felt like a wonderland, tummy soft and warm. He unconsciously leaned his upper body closer to Hinata’s, breathing long and heavy through his mouth. As his hand slipped up a little farther again, he hit something with the heel of his palm and Hinata arched his back a little and crooned beautifully. The thing he’d bumped against was Hinata’s own cock, hard in his jeans. He slowly sat back up straight and watched Wakatoshi, both silent and unmoving until Hinata pressed a hand slowly to Wakatoshi’s shoulder, slowly rolled his hips to press his cock a little harder against Wakatoshi’s palm. 

“Hinata,” breathed Wakatoshi in a choked voice, uncertainty making his thoughts stall. He wanted to touch, he wanted to so badly but he didn’t think he should, that he could, that he was allowed to touch a being as divine as Hinata. And yet Hinata was looking at him like he wanted to, was encouraging him with every movement and every little sound he made. Slowly, Wakatoshi slid his hand fully inside Hinata’s shirt, spreading his big fingers flat onto Hinata’s tummy, feeling it softly rise and fall as he breathed. Wakatoshi’s head lowered and he looked at their laps, looked at the small bulge in Hinata’s jeans, looked at the growing bulge in his own pants. He let out a slow, hot breath, Hinata’s fingers flexing on his shoulder. 

“Touch me,” Hinata roughed right into Wakatoshi’s ear and he choked, head and eyes flying back up. Wakatoshi’s other hand was pulled to Hinata’s body again, placed flat against a bare lower back. His fingers flexed, and he sighed softly, eyes staring, trained on Hinata the whole time. “Touch me,” Hinata murmured again. And this time Wakatoshi himself complied. 

Hinata was slim, a little bony in places, but nothing that wasn’t normal. He wasn’t underweight, proved by how soft he was in his tummy and his waist. As he explored Hinata’s belly and back, fingers bumping over vertebrae and hip bones, he slowly slid his hands to Hinata’s waist, to either side as he slowly began to rub upward, always watching Hinata, whose lashes fluttered, eyes cast down but lips smiling softly. The hand on Wakatoshi’s shoulder had slipped down and another had joined it, resting in the shape of an upside down heart just at the lower part of Wakatoshi’s stomach, innocently still. As Wakatoshi’s hands slowly moved up to Hinata’s chest, his shirt rucked up, revealing pale, milky skin and a flat tummy. His jeans were a little low and loose around his hips, the band of a pair of pale pink boxer shorts showing. Wakatoshi’s fingers flexed again, and Hinata slowly looked up. His thumbs rubbed out and rushed over two hard buds, and suddenly Hinata’s eyes were wide and he was gasping beautifully high, eyes trained on Wakatoshi as the fingers of his own hands flexed against Wakatoshi’s lower abs. He’d just unknowingly rubbed at Hinata’s nipples, and god, he wanted to do it again. With Hinata’s eyes on him, fire in his gaze, Wakatoshi slowly did it again, and this time Hinata crooned a low, dangerous sound. He rolled his hips, contact made and Wakatoshi gasped quietly. 

“Wakatoshi,” whispered Hinata, eyes locked. “Take my shirt off.”

Wakatoshi nodded stiffly, looked down and slowly did as he was told. A moment of clear thought came, and he knew at this point that he would be happy to do anything Hinata asked of him, whether he really should or not. The shirt came off and finally Wakatoshi could truly see Hinata. He was perfectly soft in his frame, no harsh lines aside from where his collar bones and and hip bones jutted against pale skin. His nipples were a soft pink and small, hard and puckered now as he shivered, as cool air caressed his bare chest. 

“I know I’m not much to look at,” he murmured, just as Wakatoshi released a short, “Oh.” Hinata pressed his lips together, falling quiet, smiling softly. 

“Wakatoshi,” he whispered again, olive eyes darting up, the look in them making him speechless for a moment. He swallowed at the adoration those olive irises held. 

“Take your shirt off, too,” he whispered with a tiny uptick at the corner of his lips. Olive eyes searched his face, but slowly Wakatoshi reached down, and then in a split second, his shirt was off his body and over his head, gone. This time Hinata let out a soft, “Oh.” Despite Wakatoshi’s long office hours, he was fit, toned enough to show it, toned enough to be hard in the places where Hinata was soft. Toned enough to make Hinata speechless at how damn sexy Wakatoshi truly was. His fingers shivered, aching to touch. Wakatoshi leaned forward, almost bold as he told Hinata in a deep voice, “Hinata, you can touch me too.”

Hinata melted out a moan, his hands skirting, skipping over abs with how fast he moved. He wanted to touch everything all at once, hands slipping this way and that as he touched Wakatoshi’s flat side, his chest, his strong shoulders and thick arms. Wakatoshi smiled, unseen by Hinata, and gripped gently at his hips as if to anchor him in place, like Hinata might rock off Wakatoshi’s lap in his excitement. His hands moved faster, trying to touch and memorize everything. “Ohh,” Hinata crooned sweetly. When he looked up, they were drawn almost magnetically together, lips melting against each other as they both sighed with quiet bliss. 

Hinata’s soft, little tongue licked into Wakatoshi’s mouth and the other responded in kind, tongues curling together, exploring each other and their warm mouths. Hinata’s hands shivered over Wakatoshi’s pectorals as he pressed in closer, hardnesses pressing together as Wakatoshi slid his own hands around Hinata. As their kiss slowly deepened, Wakatoshi cupped at Hinata’s neck, then slid his hand up into soft locks, fingers curling softly around orange curls. Hinata crooned, and Wakatoshi pulled him a little closer. 

_This is dangerous_ , he thought, but it wasn’t like he wanted to stop. 

Hinata slowly pulled away, lips red and a little swollen, hips rocking against Wakatoshi’s as he shifted to sit back a bit. He looked at Wakatoshi with an illegal look in his eyes, heat rising inside both of them. 

“Hinata,” hushed Wakatoshi. “You’re beautiful.”

He loved the way Hinata blushed, surprised to see it, enough to make him smile wide and unrestrained. 

“Wakatoshi!” cried Hinata. “You’re so handsome-!”

Wakatoshi hummed and then laughed softly, a little self-deprecating in his response. Hinata shifted, cupped Wakatoshi’s cheeks as a small frown formed. 

“You don’t believe me?” he asked. Wakatoshi’s own smile fell a little.

His eyes shifted away for a moment before he looked back and smiled again. “I just don’t think you should think so.”

“Why?” Hinata asked with wide eyes, hurt. Why shouldn’t he be allowed to think Wakatoshi was as attractive as they got? Hinata had certainly never been so attracted to anyone else before. 

Wakatoshi’s face pulled into confusion, confused about why Hinata was confused. “Well, I’m just an old guy, for one,” he said. Hinata just blinked at him. Wakatoshi scratched at his scalp as he slowly averted his eyes. His hands tightened against Hinata’s skin, as if he was really battling this out. Hinata frowned at the sight. 

“Wakatoshi, I think you’re the most attractive person I’ve ever met,” he said clearly, with true confidence in his words. 

Brown hair ruffled as Wakatoshi’s head jerked back, frown going deeper, looking more and more confused by the second. Silence stretched between them for a moment until Wakatoshi asked blankly, “But why?”

“What do you mean, why?” asked Hinata as he slowly deflated. “I think you’re hot. I don’t get why that’s up for argument.”

Wakatoshi frowned, eyes cast down again, but slowly his fingers began to flex on Hinata’s skin, began to pull the other closer again. “You’re ridiculous,” he huffed as Hinata melted against him, his own arms wrapping around Wakatoshi’s thick neck, thinking of how lucky he truly felt to be embraced and accepted like this by the man, to be able to spend time with him. 

“Thank you,” whispered Wakatoshi finally, and nothing else could have warmed Hinata more. He turned his face into the man’s neck and kissed him softly, brimming with love and desire for this big goof. 

“Wakatoshi,” he whispered. He had one last selfish request. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

Wakatoshi hugged Hinata tighter, his hand around his waist softly caressing over his skin. “Yeah,” he hushed. _I’d like that._ He couldn’t say it, so he just pulled Hinata back and kissed his cheek instead. Hinata smiled wide and shut-eyed at him. 

“Touch me some more,” he husked to the man, eyes opening slowly to behold the look of pure desire in olive eyes. Hinata knew he could really get used to this. He sank forward again into a kiss. 

_This was the man_ , he thought. The one he wanted to make all his own. 

Wakatoshi melted back into the kiss with an ease that did not reflect the way his heart was pounding so hard or the way his hands were shaking. His mind was racing but all he could focus on were Hinata’s lips, his soft pants against his own mouth, his heat and smell. His hand dropped down from Hinata’s neck to his thigh, thumb carefully caressing as he tested how far he could really go. When Hinata gasped softly as his thumb climbed up closer to private parts, he pulled back sharply and said quickly, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

But Hinata grabbed his neck and pulled him back into the kiss, muttering, “You fool,” against thin lips. He pressed closer, Wakatoshi’s thumb pressing right against hot, hard heat. Hinata shivered as he tilted his head, as he locked his arms around the brunet man’s neck. Wakatoshi went quiet for a moment, his other hand sliding to the waist band of Hinata’s jeans, stroking carefully at his back. With intentional movements, he opened his mouth a little wider and licked along Hinata’s inner cheek like he was tasting something really good. His thumb made another stroke at Hinata’s clothed erection and that was all it took for the fire to be reignited. 

By the time they pulled apart, lips swollen and red, cheeks hot to the touch, both felt slightly more satisfied but no less needy. Still, they let some cool air between their bodies. 

“Do you have to wake up early for work?” Hinata asked quietly, shy all of a sudden. 

“Yeah...” murmured Wakatoshi with a frown. “And you?”

“I’ll have to leave around 6:30 to catch the train for my 8 o’clock class-“

“I’ll drive you to school,” interrupted Wakatoshi. It meant they could leave together, since he liked getting to work around 8 as well, to have more time in the office by himself in the morning. It was the perfect idea, but still he added, “If you don’t mind.”

Hinata smiled brightly, shaking his head. “Of course I don’t mind! I get to sleep in with you a little and avoid the early morning rush?” He laughed. “It’s a no-brainer.”

Wakatoshi was glad Hinata agreed. He was also glad that the other had decided to be selfish and ask to stay over. He never wanted to part from Hinata; it was getting harder and harder to say goodbye every time, and yet he doubted he would have said anything about it. Hinata wanted to stay with him; he wondered what that meant about the redhead’s feelings. 

“It’s almost 10:30,” Hinata said, having picked up his phone while Wakatoshi was lost in thought. The man hummed, glancing around the apartment and feeling fairly satisfied with the state it was in. 

Still, he turned to Hinata and said, “Why don’t you put away your school stuff and I’ll go find you something to sleep in, and dig up a new toothbrush.”

Hinata nodded, giving Wakatoshi a cheek kiss before he flitted away to do as he was told. Wakatoshi pulled himself off the couch and did the same. He searched for nearly ten minutes before digging out a shirt he’d had from high school and a pair of old boxers. The toothbrush was easier to locate, and by that time there was a soft knock at the jamb to his room. Hinata stood almost demurely in the open doorway, Wakatoshi waving unsurely to the clothes he’d found. “Do you need to take a shower?”

“Ah, sure.”

“I can put the clothes you’re wearing now in the laundry so they can be clean for you in the morning, then.” 

Hinata nodded as he scooped up Wakatoshi’s old clothes, pressing them to his face. Wakatoshi took the gesture as one of shyness until Hinata’s eyelids fluttered ever so softly and he whispered, “They smell like you.”

Wakatoshi turned red even as he tried to tell himself it wasn’t a compliment. “They’re clean,” he promised, but Hinata just giggled and moved to the bathroom. “There’s towels and wash cloths in the closet. Feel free to use my body wash or shampoo.”

Hinata nodded eagerly, head rolling as he took in the large bathroom and giant tub. 

“You can take a bath, too, if you’d like,” Wakatoshi told him, but Hinata just smiled. Scratching his head, the brunet said, “Just leave your clothes on the floor and I’ll collect them when you’re in the shower.”

He shut the bathroom door with that and set about finding his own pajamas to wear. A few moments later, after the water had been turned on and the rattle of the shower door closing had sounded, Wakatoshi excused himself into the bathroom and collected Hinata’s jeans, undies, and the shirt from the living room. He prepped his washer, pausing with shirt in hand. He looked around before raising it to his nose to inhale. 

“Okay,” he whispered as Hinata’s scent filled his nostrils and he shivered pleasantly. He could only hope that’s what Hinata had meant. He started the wash and walked back to his room, prepping the bed with extra blankets and pulling back the covers, fluffing pillows. The door opened behind him just as he set Hinata’s pillow down, and he turned. Looking like some kind of sin, Hinata stood with wet hair in the middle of the doorway, shirt far too big on his tiny frame, boxers barely visible below the hem. He looked, in a word, soft. He stepped forward on bare feet and smiled as he stepped up beside Wakatoshi, hand slipping around his forearm. 

“The shower’s open if you need to take one.”

“I prefer to shower in the morning,” Wakatoshi said, trying to act cool and normal as he unceremoniously slipped into bed to hide his reaction. Hinata rounded the bed and clambered in beside him, smiling like he had no clue how devastatingly adorable he looked. He sat with hands on his knees and legs folded under him as if waiting for permission. Wakatoshi pushed the covers open for him as he sank down to his pillow, and Hinata scurried in and snuggled to the man’s side as he lay his arm out, covers tugged up to his nose as he laid his head on Wakatoshi’s chest. Oh, he smelled like Wakatoshi, which was somehow just as devastating as his natural scent. Wakatoshi clenched the fist at his side as he curled his other arm around the redhead. 

“Sleep well,” he uttered stiffly. Hinata’s breath coasted over his pecs as the other whispered back his reply. 

Wakatoshi wondered if he would. The memories of their evening churned in his mind, everything highlighted to him. When Hinata shifted his leg up and over Wakatoshi’s lap, he let out an awkward sound and Hinata looked up. 

“I know it’s late,” he murmured after a moment in the dark, “but you can still touch me more if you want.”

Of course Wakatoshi wanted to. He always would. But the problem was if he should or not. He turned his head to look at his alarm clock, weighing sleepiness tomorrow to giving in to his desires tonight. Slowly, he turned back to Hinata, shifted his body to his side and wrapped the redhead up. He kissed at damp hair, inhaled Hinata. And slowly he let his hands roam to slim thighs, under a baggy tee. Hinata was warm and soft, and touching him was heavenly. The smaller male snuck his own arm around Wakatoshi’s waist and under his shirt, small fingers tracing over shoulder blades and back muscles. When he sighed blissfully, Wakatoshi felt it in his very soul. Hinata fell asleep with one of Wakatoshi’s hands at the small of his back, the other high on the back of his thigh, a plump ass cheek barely touched. If Wakatoshi curled his fingers around he could probably touch Hinata’s balls. He could certainly feel Hinata’s erection as surely as Hinata could feel his. It was blissful. It was something he could get used to. 

He listened for a while to soft breathing, reveled in Hinata’s hands against his skin, one at his back and the other curled against his chest. He thought very seriously about touching Hinata in more private places as he slept but thankfully he had too much sanity and respect for anything like that. He quietly slipped into his own slumber with thoughts of Hinata swirling around his dreams and mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🥰🥰🥰


	5. Chapter 5

Wakatoshi had never really had a hard time getting out of bed, but when he woke up the next morning, he found himself unwilling to move. Soft sounds travelled up to his ears and a warm body lay smooshed atop his chest, 95% of Hinata’s upper body resting across Wakatoshi’s chest and one leg tossed over thick thighs. How Hinata had gotten into this position was a mystery, but Wakatoshi wouldn’t complain. His shoulder had slipped out of the neck of the shirt and he looked far too appetizing for this early in the morning. 

Wakatoshi flexed his hands and slowly he wrapped Hinata up, one hand coming up to rub into his soft hair, the other resting just at the top of his slung-over leg, fingers teasing at a butt cheek like it was his favorite hand-position. Hinata didn’t even make a peep, and Wakatoshi found his mind drifting to dangerous things. He hadn’t thought it possible for a man his age to get so many erections so fast, but as he lay there listening to and inhaling Hinata, his cock began to rise in his loose pj pants and press against the backside of Hinata’s thigh. 

Wakatoshi was in the middle of a debate on what to do about it when he heard a soft, “~Toshi?” A sleepy voice called his name and Hinata shifted in his arms, crawling slowly up Wakatoshi’s chest until he was snuggled under his chin. His hand roamed down Wakatoshi’s chest, slipping down to his hip, just at the edge of the tent in his pants. 

Wakatoshi’s brain malfunctioned on how to greet someone in his bed, and so he just dumbly asked “...Did you sleep okay?”

“I slept wonderfully,” murmured Hinata in a voice that was far too pleasant to hear for this early in the morning. He shifted next to sit up a little, his sleepy face so crushingly adorable as he asked quietly, “Do you want me to help you with this?” His fingers flexed softly on Wakatoshi’s hip, and the man actually looked down and considered it for a few seconds before looking back up at Hinata with wide eyes. 

“I’ll just do it in the shower,” he said in a rush, cheeks turning a little red, but his worries were forgotten in an instant as a hand cupped his cheek and suddenly Hinata was kissing him, a little lazy and playing more with Wakatoshi’s bottom lip. Teeth grabbed at it and tugged teasingly at it, and Wakatoshi let out a rough groan. This made Hinata clamber atop him, elbows by his ears and hands into Wakatoshi’s brownish locks, his hips resting on Wakatoshi’s stomach. Wakatoshi slowly sank his arms around the little one’s waist as Hinata stared at him with pretty eyes and messy hair. 

“I don’t mind,” he whispered as he began to reach back, but Wakatoshi caught his arm and pulled it to his chest, leaning up and tilting his head instead for another kiss. It was too early in the morning for them to be trying that kind of heart-pounding endeavor. Even just the thought of Hinata touching him was enough to make him cum, his heart threatening to choke him. Hinata was pliant in his morning kiss, sloppy and lazy, which suited Wakatoshi’s mood just fine. The sensual kisses pulled little moans out of the redhead, his teeth scraping over lips, his tongue trying to taste Wakatoshi in the morning. The tall man sank a hand into soft hair and he pulled Hinata into a deeper kiss, his cock bobbing desperately below Hinata’s hips. If he was honest, he’d love to get Hinata naked and really wreck him thoroughly, but Wakatoshi had no right to assume he could do so, and this was more than enough excitement for now. He had to appreciate what the other would give him, as little or as much as it would be. He couldn’t expect more than what had been expressly stated and allowed. 

Beside him, his alarm began to ring, and Wakatoshi pulled back with a sad groan, slapping his hand out to stop the noise. He didn’t want to go, didn’t want to roll Hinata off him and leave his embrace. He had to switch Hinata’s clothes to the dryer before he got in the shower. 

“Do you need to pee before I shower?” Wakatoshi asked slowly, sitting up on his elbows with Hinata against his chest. The smaller man had snuggled back under his chin. 

“Yes,” murmured Hinata, pouting sadly as he clung to Wakatoshi. He slowly sat up in the man’s lap and leaned in to kiss him again. Wakatoshi’s erection shivered as plush butt cheeks slipped around it. Hinata rocked his hips slowly. “I could... shower with you...” he whispered against Wakatoshi’s mouth. 

The man pulled back and blinked in confusion, a hand coming around Hinata’s waist to stop his hip rolls. “You’ve already showered,” he said, not getting it. Hinata pulled away, lips tugged down, which pained Wakatoshi to see. The redhead slowly climbed off his lap to the bathroom, and Wakatoshi awkwardly hobbled to his laundry room to start the dryer. When he came back, his cock was still stiff, and Hinata was taking his time washing his hands as Wakatoshi grabbed clothes and a towel for himself. 

Hinata caught his hand as Wakatoshi passed him to turn on the shower. Another hand caught against Wakatoshi’s pant waistband and he looked down at Hinata in surprise. Clear, brown eyes peered up at him. “Can’t I get in with you? I want to, and I can help you out-“

Something dropped into Wakatoshi’s gut like hot lava, and he spun on his heel, sweeping Hinata up into his arms and kissing him breathless. Hinata gasped as his hands spread on Wakatoshi’s chest, his feet off the ground and Wakatoshi’s arm the only thing holding him up, the other hand supporting the back of Hinata’s head. He dragged a moan out of Hinata, trying to diffuse himself while battling with the strong urge to just pull Hinata into the shower with him, to strip him naked and have his way with this tiny guy. He wanted Hinata so badly, badly enough to throw all of his good intentions and determination to protect Hinata’s purity at all costs out the window. But slowly he was able to reel himself back and lower Hinata down, hands to his shoulders as he smiled softly. He pressed a soft kiss to Hinata’s forehead as he said, “Thank you for the offer, but I’ll be okay to take care of myself.” He stood up slowly and added, “Your clothes will be dry soon. Until then, feel free to help yourself to anything you find in the kitchen for breakfast.”

Another parting kiss to Hinata’s cheek, the other slowly nodding and then moving out of the bathroom. Wakatoshi peeled his clothes off and sank into the shower, wondering how he would keep his promise to himself to not go too far with Hinata. He was teetering on the edge, and most of him begged to just fall off and dive in. 

He gave himself a sad orgasm and washed off, pulling on clothes with very little gusto, going about his normal routine. Hinata found him trying to be normal, dressed and eating a bowl of oatmeal as he leaned against the door frame of the bedroom. He smiled sweetly at Wakatoshi, looked him over, but he didn’t say anything. 

Wakatoshi grabbed his own breakfast and soon they were out the door, headed down to the garage. Hinata walked just behind Wakatoshi, quiet. They climbed into his car, the silence surrounding them, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Soft music played from the radio, and Hinata glanced at Wakatoshi with a sweet smile when he realized the man hadn’t changed it from the last time they’d ridden together. 

“You look handsome,” came a soft voice from the other side of the car, quiet like Hinata was testing the waters between them. Wakatoshi slowed at a red light and slowly glanced at the redhead, who was staring at his side profile very intensely. “Well, you’re always handsome,” he added with a little more volume when Wakatoshi didn’t reject his compliment. 

“If you keep saying that, it will go to my head,” joked Wakatoshi terribly, but he saw Hinata smile. A few minutes later, slim fingers grazed over the tall man’s hand on his gearshift, and when Wakatoshi didn’t object to this either, those fingers curled around the top of his hand, cool fingertips pressing against Wakatoshi’s warm palm. A swell of emotions rose up inside Wakatoshi, but he left them bottled up, afraid they would be too much for their relationship. Hinata sat quiet, watching out the window as he wondered why Wakatoshi was still so stiff and formal with him, seemingly keeping him at arm’s length when Hinata wanted all of them to be wrapped up in each other.

Hinata directed Wakatoshi to the best place to drop him off at, and as they sat in the idling car for a silent moment, Hinata gathered his bag and his courage. He turned to Wakatoshi and smiled bright, hands slipping together fully and fingers intertwining. 

“Wakatoshi, please know that when I ask you to be selfish with me, it’s because I most likely selfishly want those things as well.” There was a beat of silence as he let the other man absorb that, and while he was distracted, he launched himself forward and deeply kissed Wakatoshi, hand cupping his strong jaw and wishing he could just... keep kissing Wakatoshi. But he pulled away and slid out of the car without another word, running full throttle to the building he needed to be in. When he slid into his seat, he pulled out his phone and texted, _See you tonight?_

Wakatoshi still sat idling in his car, stunned, when the message came. He touched his lips with the hand that had held Hinata’s, and he wondered if he really, really truly could be so selfish. 

x

“I’m sorry, Hinata, I can’t tonight. I’ve got a dinner with my company’s CEO and they like to go late.”

There was a pause, and Hinata sounded distinctly sadder than when he’d answered the call. This was the first time they’d spoken on the phone, and Wakatoshi wished he’d started sooner. Still, it made him miss Hinata fiercely. “Okay,” he said finally, slowly trying to regain his cheer. “I understand, Wakatoshi.” 

Then he laughed and said he should probably catch up on his homework for real, and with that, they bid each other a goodnight. 

Hinata had a harder time sounding cheery when nearly the same call occurred the next night. Wakatoshi rubbed in frustration at his scalp, a bunch of hair clenched into his fist as he stared dauntingly at a huge pile of paperwork, but there was no way he could put it off to go home early. Still Hinata sounded like he was smiling as he said, “I understand. Don’t work too hard.”

The next night, Wakatoshi couldn’t even bear to call Hinata, leaving it instead to text. 

_That’s fine_ , came the short reply, feeling heavy and daunting until Hinata sent him a picture of his face, a small smile visible even if his eyes were sad. 

The next night was the same, but the picture that came was sent nearly at 11, Hinata’s eyes a little red and tired, and he was leaning against a door, sitting on a carpeted floor that Wakatoshi had walked over every night since he’d bought his own place. He sat up straight, staring with big eyes.

 _Why are you sitting outside my place?_ he texted cautiously. Maybe he was mistaken, and yet, he couldn’t help but feel hope rise roughly in his chest. 

_I’m waiting for you..._

Wakatoshi glanced around with panicked eyes to ensure that the coast was clear, before pressing the small call button. “You... dummy!” he whispered harshly when the line clicked on. 

Hinata laughed, then said, “Hurry up, it’s cold out here.”

Wakatoshi grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked at it in frustration, angry at the pile of work he had left, angry that he couldn’t be there for Hinata, angry that he hadn’t seen Hinata in... too long. “Hinata, there’s a keypad above my door handle, I’ll text you my entry code. Go inside and take a warm bath and eat something warm, please-“

“Is this your invite for me to stay the night?” Hinata asked quietly, and Wakatoshi went silent, head bowing as he covered his mouth, wondering if he wanted to smile or cry. “And are you sure... you want to give me your entry code?”

The way Hinata asked made Wakatoshi realize that Hinata was a force to be reckoned with, that once he gave the redhead the code, Hinata would come... whenever, would be there, waiting... whenever. 

With a rushed breath, Wakatoshi said, “I’m sure.”

Hinata was silent on the other end, but when he spoke again, Wakatoshi could hear his smile. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Don’t wait up for me,” Wakatoshi said in answer to the first question, and Hinata giggled happily. 

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he teased. “You’re not my dad.”

Wakatoshi groaned and Hinata laughed again. 

“You’re my sugar daddy,” he said just before hanging up, sending Wakatoshi rocketing out of his chair with nowhere to go. His heart was in his throat as he listened to the dial tone beep in his ear. 

“What the fuck,” he whispered as he slowly sat down again, as he texted Hinata his entry code, knowing that he was only dooming himself to failure with this, but he didn’t care as much as he had before. In his head looped the words that Hinata had said the last time they’d seen each other. 

If Hinata wanted him to be selfish because his selfish wants were the same... Wakatoshi shook his head even as his cheeks heated up. Hinata didn’t know half of what he wanted; Hinata couldn’t possibly think that being with a man like Wakatoshi would be good at all.

No, that was Wakatoshi’s selfishness and his pride. 

_Did you get in okay?_ he asked. 

Hinata sent a photo of his eyes above a bubble-filled tub as a response, and Wakatoshi actually tossed his phone across the room, the devil trying to tempt him too much.

x

Wakatoshi had sat for so long that it hurt to move. He didn’t even have to look at his watch to know it was way too late. He shuffled out of the elevator across incriminating carpet to his front door, quietly punching in his entry code, opening the door as quietly as he could, moving inside and stripping off his coat and shoes. In his slippers, noting that Hinata’s were gone from the front door, he stepped into his house, looking around. Everything was silent, which was a good sign that Hinata had listened to him about staying up. He sighed softly, thinking Hinata was probably in the bedroom. He went to the kitchen to grab himself a glass of water. 

When he came back out, he nearly dropped his glass, having forgotten for a moment that Hinata was here, not expecting the redhead to be in the living room and not the bed. With books spread out on the coffee table before him, Hinata lay splayed out over the table and said books, dead asleep and looking like he’d tried really hard not to. Wakatoshi sighed, couldn’t help a soft laugh. He set his glass down and moved into his living room, trying to figure out how to maneuver Hinata out of the tight spot he sat in between the couch and the coffee table. He lifted him carefully by his arms and slid him out, grabbing one arm under his legs as he laid his orange head against his shoulder. He grabbed his glass up again and moved into his bedroom. There were small signs of Hinata here, from a discarded pair of jeans and a tee, a towel hung haphazardly on a towel bar inside the bathroom, the sheets a little mussed. Wakatoshi set his glass down on his bedside table and moved around the big mattress, pulling the sheets back as he carefully laid Hinata down. There were marks on his face from the books he’d laid on, and Wakatoshi rubbed at them gently, the softest expression on his face. He paused for a moment, before bending down to press a slow kiss to Hinata’s cheek. Before pulling the covers over him, he noted that Hinata had dug out another shirt and pair of boxers from Wakatoshi’s dresser, and it made him smile to see Hinata in his old stuff. 

He quietly went through a short version of his nightly routine, crawling into bed in the end in just a pair of pj pants, too tired to bother with anything more, despite the fact that Hinata was there. It was rare for him to sleep in a shirt, but he’d felt too sexually aggressive going to bed topless the last time. He scrubbed at his face and sighed, smiling crookedly at his own oddities. He climbed under the covers, Hinata now turned towards him; he combed aside messy bangs, his hand finding Hinata’s under the sheets and he grabbed it loosely. 

It was hard to explain, even to himself, how he could want Hinata so badly, and yet know that he absolutely shouldn’t behave like he did. The words Hinata said, asking Wakatoshi to be selfish, were those of a kid who’d barely lived yet, who didn’t know that there were people he shouldn’t fall for. It wasn’t that Wakatoshi was a bad man, but he thought he was probably bad for Hinata. And still, despite all of that common sense and experience, Hinata’s words affected Wakatoshi like no other. When Hinata asked him to be selfish, he wanted to be. When he asked for kisses or things like staying the night, he never said no. He made zero effort to separate Hinata from himself, to leave space for Hinata to live his own life. Because the truth was, Wakatoshi didn’t want to be a grown-up about this, one who made good decisions for the sake of the younger generation. No, Wakatoshi wanted Hinata to be his, no matter what society or his brain might say. Looking at Hinata now, it was hard to not just listen to his heart. Hinata, who was pure and soft and so sweet, was in his bed, was asleep, and Wakatoshi wanted to always come home to this, to Hinata. He was lonely, but that didn’t mean just anyone would do. No, in fact, Hinata was the first person he’d let in thus far, had wanted to let in this far, the only person he never wanted to part from. 

Hinata gave a small murmur and shifted closer to Wakatoshi, and in a moment of absolute weakness, Wakatoshi pulled Hinata to his chest, cradled him like he was the whole entire world, because he was, and he probably always would be, wherever their paths might lead them. If Hinata ever realized that a relationship with Wakatoshi was not possible, then Wakatoshi would let him go, even as his heart broke, but until then, Wakatoshi would treasure every moment, every breath on his skin, every kiss, every whisper of his name. 

These were the things he would treasure in his mind for the rest of his lifetime. 

x

Wakatoshi awoke with a start, hair tickling his nose. A glance down told him why. Hinata had turned over at some point in the night, his back curled against Wakatoshi’s chest, the man’s face buried in soft, orange curls. Hinata smelled absolutely sweet, and he was warm and fit so perfectly well inside the fold of Wakatoshi’s body. His arm was very much asleep, which was really his only complaint as he slowly shifted to alleviate the limb and move to the bathroom to do the same for his bladder. 

When he came back into the bedroom, Hinata had taken over his side of the bed, and Wakatoshi gave a soft laugh, bending down on one knee as he brushed Hinata’s face free of stray curls. Slowly, soft brown eyes opened, Hinata catching Wakatoshi in his most vulnerable state, soft and loving expression melting away harsh lines and features. It was too early in the morning for Wakatoshi to think to fix those things, too. A small hand cupped Wakatoshi’s larger one and kept it on Hinata’s face, another hand reaching to pull Wakatoshi back into bed. 

“I won’t fit,” he murmured even as he crawled under the covers with Hinata, surprisingly just enough room for him to lay on his side and hug Hinata to himself. Soft hands spread over his bare chest and Hinata crooned against his pectorals, slowly curving back to look up at the man. 

“Good morning,” Wakatoshi murmured sweetly, and Hinata was quiet for a moment. Finally, he smiled, hand coming up to cup Wakatoshi’s own smile. 

“I fell asleep before you got home...” he murmured with a small frown forming. 

“I told you to go to bed,” Wakatoshi reminded him. 

“I wanted to stay up and tell you, “Welcome home”,” whispered Hinata, eyes going sad. 

Wakatoshi pressed his lips together to keep dangerous words inside. He was falling in love so badly. 

“Next time,” promised Hinata with a soft smile, and Wakatoshi didn’t have the heart to discourage him. It was so nice and domestic, so much what Wakatoshi never knew he’d wanted, that he didn’t have the heart to keep Hinata’s future in mind and say no. 

“Wakatoshi,” called Hinata, olive eyes snapping back to his face. Hinata smiled ever so sweetly, Wakatoshi feeling broken already for that face, as Hinata whispered, “Good morning.”

When lips crashed into his own, and Wakatoshi lost all of his will. He knew he had some time before work, but Hinata made him think it was okay if he was a little late for once. Small hands explored his chest and his heart did somersaults inside his rib cage, not caring about normal patterns any longer as it stuttered and hiccuped inside. Hands found themselves on Hinata’s bare back, while Wakatoshi was trying to remind himself why stripping Hinata naked was _not_ a good idea, no matter how much he wanted to. And yet when Hinata pulled off said shirt himself, along with those boxers, Wakatoshi did not say no. He also didn’t say no when Hinata crawled on top of him, definitely didn’t say no when Hinata pulled Wakatoshi’s big hands down to his own clothed erection. 

“Wakatoshi,” he panted. “Do you want to touch me?” Wakatoshi’s smart side of his brain noted that he already was, but that wasn’t the real question. He pursed his lips and looked up at Hinata. It wasn’t really about what he wanted, was it? It was about what Hinata wanted him to do. 

In an effort to diffuse the situation that was heading to dangerous places, Wakatoshi asked in a rough voice, “Do you have school today?”

“Not until 12,” Hinata said, eyes like fire on Wakatoshi. Again, he asked, breathless but stern, “Wakatoshi, tell me if you want to touch me.”

Of course he wanted to. He wanted to touch all of Hinata, no clothes on, inside and out. He pressed his lips together instead, which made Hinata frown violently. 

“Wakatoshi,” he begged as he leaned down, as he captured those thin lips between his own, easily melting Wakatoshi again. When he was satisfied, he pulled back and keened, “Wakatoshi, I want you to touch me, so, do you-“

“Yes,” roughed Wakatoshi, losing his mind and all composure. He knew, he knew this was a slippery slope, but right now Hinata was warm and inviting and so soft, and god damnit, what rational man could say no? “Yes, I want to.”

“Tell me, Wakatoshi. Show me.”

“I want to touch you, Hinata,” he breathed, fingers curling into Hinata’s waistband. He paused for only a moment, pulling back. “Just... tell me if I go too far...” His eyes screamed how much he needed Hinata, and with a shiver, Hinata understood. He smiled softly.

“Yes. I will.” Knowing very well that nothing would ever be too far, but if this was what Wakatoshi needed to hear, he would gladly say it every time. He cupped Wakatoshi’s cheek and kissed his lips softly. “Now,” he husked, “Please touch me, Toshi.”

Wakatoshi couldn’t even say he hated the nickname when it was Hinata saying it, when it was Hinata inviting him. He felt young again, which was dangerous. And yet he pulled down Hinata’s boxer briefs and beheld him for the first time. Oh, he was... so pretty. Wakatoshi rubbed his hand at the space just above that beautiful erect cock, mouth watering. Hinata kissed him again as his own hands slid into Wakatoshi’s waistband now. Something hit Wakatoshi and suddenly he flipped the two over, pulling Hinata’s hands back to his chest as he leaned down over the other and whispered in a low voice, “We don’t have time to worry about me, so let me just make you feel good, baby doll.”

Hinata shivered so hard it was an audible sound, back arching even as he whined softly. He wanted to touch Wakatoshi too, but that was enough for the man. He wrapped his big hand around Hinata’s leaky member and rubbed him like he did his own, a strange feeling as Hinata was a little smaller, but such a good, good feeling. He crowded over Hinata and claimed his lips, kissed away all of his complaints and worries, kissed and rubbed him until Hinata was a mess on his bed, so beautiful. He sounded absolutely lovely, looked perfect. There was nothing that was better for Wakatoshi than seeing Hinata wrecked like this, beneath him, by his hand and lips. 

When Hinata climaxed, he let his lips loose so he could hear the angelic sound of it, kissing instead at Hinata’s neck and shoulders as he milked him through it. With a last, dry cry, Hinata collapsed back, ruined. He was wet everywhere, cum on his tummy and tears and saliva on his face, and yet he was the prettiest thing Wakatoshi had ever laid his eyes on. 

He stood to grab a wash cloth, coming back to wipe Hinata off. He brushed back his hair, tenderly kissed his forehead. 

“Sleep some more,” he told Hinata sweetly, nuzzling for a moment to his cheek. When he thought Hinata was asleep, he whispered, “You are the most gorgeous creature I’ve ever known.”

With a deep satisfaction that could not be rivaled, he stepped into the shower to wash off, finding his own release in seconds from the memory of Hinata. He dressed and grabbed some food and with one last kiss, he left for work. 

Hinata lay in the bed of the best man he’d ever found, thinking that he loved him so much that it tore him apart. 

x

“Welcome home!”

It was amazing how two little words could wick away all of Wakatoshi’s exhaustion. He stood in his entryway, stunned, Hinata having run out to greet him, beaming from ear to ear. He stood there for so long that Hinata’s smile turned to worry. “What’s wrong?”

“Can you... come here?” roughed Wakatoshi, his throat dry. Hinata nodded in confusion, stepping into the entryway with Wakatoshi. A hand slipped against the back of his scalp as Wakatoshi asked next, “Can... I kiss you?”

It was like a glimpse of the sun through the trees very suddenly; Hinata’s whole face lit up like a lightbulb in a dark room, and he nodded eagerly, rushing up to his tippy toes, hands grabbing around Wakatoshi’s neck to drag him down. The kiss was everything Wakatoshi needed. He released a rush of air against soft lips, sinking into Hinata. Wakatoshi would have never guessed how lonely he’d been, not until he had Hinata there. It had all felt so normal back then, but now it felt like his whole soul had finally been quenched from a life-long drought. Wakatoshi worried that it was already too late for Hinata to save himself from the train wreck that was Wakatoshi. 

Hinata slowly pulled away from the kiss, smiling sweetly now as he helped Wakatoshi with his bag and coat. “How was your day?” he asked, and Wakatoshi hated that this already felt so natural to him. He’d have a hard time when Hinata left.

“You don’t want to know,” he groaned, thinking he’d go and change in his room when a small hand caught his, brown eyes watching him and smiling. 

“I do want to know, but if you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay too.”

Wakatoshi’s heart crumpled down, defeated. He rubbed at his face with his free hand and tried to give a smile. “It’s just been so stressful lately.”

“I’m sorry,” Hinata said as he kissed Wakatoshi’s palm, and the man was glad his hand was still covering his face, because he truly might have cried if he’d seen Hinata do it. He rubbed at his temples and bit the inside of his cheek, trying to keep his smile up. Hinata was absolutely ruining him for anyone else, and Wakatoshi wasn’t sure if he would be okay. Was this fine? He didn’t know that either. 

“Come! I made dinner!” cheered Hinata, and suddenly Wakatoshi dropped his hand, stepping into his house, eyes flying to his kitchen. “Don’t look so worried,” murmured Hinata with a pout. 

He glanced down at the redhead and then marched himself to his kitchen to see what had been done to it. He stopped, truly shocked when he saw that most of the mess had already been cleaned away, or there hadn’t been one to begin with. Hinata shyly stepped up behind him, but Wakatoshi was quick to pull the other against him in a hug. He wished he could tell Hinata how much he was turning Wakatoshi’s whole world upside down, but Wakatoshi had to keep this inside, to let Hinata be free whenever the time would come, to leave without regrets or attachments. 

“What did you make?” he asked, clearing his throat as he let Hinata go. 

“Omurice!” cheered Hinata, grinning so proudly, from ear to ear. Wakatoshi let out a small laugh, nodding. He moved to grab plates and cups, helping Hinata serve the food. 

“Drink?”

“Tea, please!”

Wakatoshi nodded, reaching for a beer bottle for himself before he paused, grabbing only the tea instead. It was a nice feeling, thinking he didn’t need alcohol to lift his stress away. Hinata was a magical cure. He poured two glasses of tea and set them on the dining room table, coming back to help Hinata with plates. 

It wasn’t until he sat down and saw the message Hinata had written in ketchup that he truly froze, tears welling up so fast that it was just sheer luck that stopped them from spilling. A big heart, and the words “You’re the best,” decorated the slightly burned yellow omelette. Wakatoshi set his elbow down hard on the table and hid his face in his hand, overwhelmed. Why did it seem so easy for Hinata to cheer him up, when life had been so hard for Wakatoshi all along. Did Hinata even know? Should Wakatoshi tell him? The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed the confession. 

“Hinata, you don’t have to do this if it’s a burden for you.”

There was silence across the table, and Wakatoshi wondered if he’d hit the nail on the head until a hand slipped into his free one. “I want to do this.”

“I mean, being here, being with me...”

“I’m telling you, I want to.”

Wakatoshi looked up carefully, eyes still threatening to shed tears. Hinata was watching him with a painfully earnest look. 

“I mean, do you not get it?” Hinata asked with a lop-sided smile. “I’m usually a super lazy butt, and I’m not really very popular so I have bad self-esteem- What I want to say is that I’m a total homebody, but I like being with you, Wakatoshi. Coming here is... fun.”

Wakatoshi wiped at his face, sighing wearily. “I’m not that fun to be around,” he said with a frown. 

Hinata shrugged. “Even if you think that, I enjoy our time together. It’s not like I need you to entertain me or anything... I just like being around you.”

Wakatoshi blinked, glancing at Hinata’s hand in his. “But why?” he asked in confusion, face blank. “I’m just some old, stressed out alcoholic-“

Hinata sighed harshly, interrupting Wakatoshi. “The only time you’re not fun is when you talk like that,” he commanded, his voice booming through the apartment, capturing Wakatoshi’s whole attention. He looked up with wide eyes at Hinata’s stern face. “Your work doesn’t define you, nor the feelings it gives you. And neither does your age. The alcohol, well- whatever. But, Wakatoshi, you’re just you, and I like _you_.”

The words hung in the air, feeling so much like what Wakatoshi was thinking, but he was afraid to accept them as anything so heavy. No, Hinata meant like in a friend way, in a non-romantic way. Wakatoshi had to tell himself that lest he drag Hinata down with him. Hinata had such a bright future ahead of him, being so young, every road a possibility, but if he tied himself to Wakatoshi, he would surely sink. Wakatoshi pulled his hand out of Hinata’s and focused on his food, trying not to cry over how good it tasted, because it was made by Hinata, made just for him. He was so lost in his spiraling thoughts that it took Hinata barking in his ear to notice him standing right beside him. 

“Did you hear me say that I like you?!”

Wakatoshi’s head jerked around, mid-chew. He stared at a red-faced Hinata, looking very upset. He blinked. “What’s wrong?” he asked dumbly, forgetting to swallow food. Hinata stomped his foot as he swallowed. 

Instead of repeating his words, however, knowing Wakatoshi had heard him perfectly well both times, he grabbed at the man’s neat hair, messing it up in his palm as he pulled Wakatoshi into a fierce kiss. Wakatoshi stuttered, heart skipping a beat as his mind tried to reboot. Hinata’s tongue was searing against his own, his words a record on repeat. 

“I can show you, if that’s better for you,” Hinata husked as he pulled back, lips red and glossy. Wakatoshi swallowed again roughly, glancing at his nearly empty plate of dinner. Hinata had barely touched his own. How long had he stood fuming next to Wakatoshi? A pang shot through his gut. 

“Hinata, what about your dinner?”

The redhead froze for a moment, slowly turning to look, but it wasn’t really the food he was considering. He turned back to Wakatoshi with a sad look of silent defeat. This made Wakatoshi feel even worse. How did he fix this? What was Hinata trying to tell him? 

“Hinata, I-“

“I like you, Wakatoshi. I really, really like you,” the redhead hushed, head down and sounding so vulnerable and broken. “Tell me what I’m supposed to do with these feelings.”

“You... shouldn’t...” Wakatoshi breathed out, concern and something else making his heart race. “You shouldn’t do that to yourself.”

“What does that mean?” hushed Hinata. He scrubbed at his face, still hidden. 

“Whatever you’re feeling... you’re too young.”

“What, to know how I feel? Or too young for you?” 

“No-!” Wakatoshi grabbed at Hinata’s hand, tried pulling him closer, but Hinata stubbornly stopped a few inches away. “I’m saying... you’re too young to be worried about a wreck like me.”

“Am I a bother?”

Wakatoshi reached instantly out and grabbed Hinata’s chin, pulled his tear-stained face and wet eyes up to meet his own steady gaze. His heart was breaking, tearing apart. “Never,” he breathed. 

“Then tell me, Wakatoshi... is it okay that I’m here?”

“Yes-“ choked Wakatoshi, wishing so terribly that he was good with eloquent words. If he was, he could soothe Hinata’s sadness, make him see reason. “Hinata, you don’t know how good it is that you’re here, for me, but I don’t think... it’s good, for you.”

Brown, wet eyes stared deep into Wakatoshi’s, Hinata’s tears stopping as he stood in silence. 

“I know I’m young,” the redhead whispered suddenly, softly. “I know there’s so much left for me to learn, but I also know when there’s something in my life that is worth it, that I want to hold on to. I’ve already been down the road you’re thinking I’m headed down with you; I’ve had a bad relationship like that. You don’t have to believe me, I can’t make you, but Wakatoshi...” Brown eyes glinted and Hinata smiled a soft, genuine thing. “I _know_.”

Small hands slipped around Wakatoshi’s wrists, sliding up strong arms, to broad shoulders. Hinata slowly loosened Wakatoshi’s tie, rolling it and setting it slowly aside. He loosened Wakatoshi’s buttons slowly as he whispered again, “I know.”

With warm hands pressed to collar bones, inside Wakatoshi’s shirt, Hinata looked back up into wavering olive eyes and he said, clearly, “I know that you’d be nothing but good for me.”

He smiled big and reassured again, “I truly know it, and I hope you’ll let me show you.”

Wakatoshi slowly folded his hands in his lap, staring down at them. He didn’t know how to argue in the face of Hinata’s determination. He knew very well he should. There were so many ways they could want each other and still not be _good_ for each other. 

“Do you need time?” Hinata whispered roughly, his head dipping down to rest against Wakatoshi’s. 

Wakatoshi didn’t want time, he didn’t want space, but that wouldn’t solve anything, so he choked out a rough, “Yes. I think both of us-“

Hinata’s brown eyes held a blazing fire, and Wakatoshi stopped. The look on the redhead’s face screamed, _I don’t need time because I know what I want._ Wakatoshi slowly reached up and gently pulled Hinata’s hands from his chest. He folded them, held them for a moment. 

“I can drive you home,” he said after a moment. 

“Thank you,” nodded Hinata. He seemed so much more mature now as he stood, holding his head high, smiling sweetly. 

Wakatoshi stood and grabbed his keys, slipping on his shoes and jacket. “You can take those slippers home, if you want.”

But Hinata set them neatly to the side and answered easily, “I’ll just leave them here for when you’re ready.”

Wakatoshi frowned, but he didn’t say anything. They quietly made their way to the garage, slipping into his car. The small space easily filled with Hinata’s scent. The soft music still played, station never changed or turned off. 

“I really meant it,” Hinata whispered when they were halfway to his dorms. 

Wakatoshi gripped at the wheel, quiet. 

“Every moment I spent with you was so much fun. You’re so good for me.”

Hinata directed him to a parking spot, and they sat bathed in the darkness of the night outside. “Should I walk you up?” Wakatoshi asked, peering around. 

“Wakatoshi, please don’t just forget about me.” Hinata’s voice was strained now, scared. Wakatoshi slowly sat back. “Whatever you decide, will you let me know?” 

“That defeats the purpose of giving both of us time-“

“Wakatoshi,” Hinata suddenly begged, crying. His hands were fisted tightly into his torn jeans. “Please!”

Wakatoshi gripped at the wheel, silence eating at him as Hinata cried quietly, shoulders shaking. 

“What makes you so sure about me?” he asked reverently, hands dropping now to his own lap, open. 

Hinata inhaled a shaky, wet breath, looking up at Wakatoshi. “I don’t know,” he murmured with a smile, “everything, really.”

“That’s not...” Wakatoshi sighed as he rubbed at his eyes. “It has to be a conviction, something that will weather through what life’s gonna throw at us. Hinata, you’re twenty years old. I’m almost 40. Do you realize that I’m practically twice your age? My mother expects me to have kids with a woman soon. You’re not even settled in a job yet, and I know you mean well, but life isn’t so easy. Forget about our age then, we’re two men. The world is already cruel towards those kinds of relationships.” He inhaled sharply, Hinata very quiet, listening. 

“Hinata, I will ruin you if you stay with me. Not intentionally, but being with me will ruin you. You’re wonderful, you’ve your whole life ahead of you, and you could do anything, be anything. You could live a life with someone you can be proud of, someone you can show off, someone you can make adorable little freckled babies with.”

Silence filled the car again. Wakatoshi had finally spoken so well, but suddenly he didn’t believe a word he said. The truth was that he didn’t want space, he didn’t want time apart, he didn’t want Hinata to reconsider. But that was oh so selfish, and Wakatoshi couldn’t do it to someone he loved so absolutely much. He couldn’t do it to Hinata. He’d swallow it all if only for that boy’s sake. 

He shocked back to the present when a soft hand slid into his, tiny compared to his own. Hinata was so soft and kind, so tender in everything he did. If he really liked Wakatoshi, it would be such a love worth having. Wakatoshi was sure that no one could love like Hinata loved, whether it was him or the person in Hinata’s future. No, that person would be loved so well; it was because Hinata was so perfect in that respect that it really couldn’t be Wakatoshi, because he didn’t deserve it. 

“Wakatoshi, will you look at me?” Hinata’s voice was soft, and the man knew he wasn’t crying anymore. He looked up slowly, met by that beautiful smile that had stolen his heart from the very first moment. 

“You want to know how I know?” His voice filled the car, took up the space in such a pleasant way. Wakatoshi didn’t move, enraptured, scared to ruin this angelic moment that Hinata was creating, this peaceful space. “I know because the first moment I saw you, I wanted to be the only one you ever called for. I know because your voice spoke to my soul, calling it to dream. I know because I was feeling hopeless before I met you, wondering how I’d survive college, much less life after. I know because you made me want to make not only you proud, but myself. I know because the first time we spent together in public, I wanted everyone to know you were there with _me_. I know because your kisses could make me cry with how gentle they are. When I say everything, I don’t mean it lightly. When I say I like you, know that I’m already absolutely sure. Know that when I asked you if you needed time, it wasn’t because I wanted to give it to you, but because I needed you to _know_ like I know. Wakatoshi, please trust me when I say... I know the cost of loving you, and I find it to be nothing in the face of not being with you at all.”

 _That_ , Wakatoshi thought. _If he could have just said words as eloquent as that from the beginning..._ Tears ran down his face and the one thing he very much knew in that moment was that he didn’t want any space. He didn’t need time. Just like Hinata, he had known it from the very, very beginning. He had never had a single doubt that Hinata was the one for him; the only thing he’d selfishly presumed was that Hinata wanted, needed to find something else, something “better”. He wouldn’t claim to be a perfect man, but he would love Hinata endlessly. He would love him tenderly, thoroughly, purely. He would love only Hinata for the rest of his life, and wasn’t that what it meant to be “perfectly in love”? And he was, god, he was. He clung to Hinata’s hand, thought of how he would hate it to ever be anyone else holding it, anyone else kissing his lips, anyone else but him holding Hinata. If he was a proud man, he would say that he fit perfectly with Hinata, that he was the “better” he wanted the man to find. No, he was “the best”. He turned to Hinata, thinking that the redhead was the only person who could ever make him say it. And so he did. 

“I think, Hinata, that I’m the best person out there that you could ever find for yourself.” It felt insanely egotistical and absolutely truthful as he said it, because Wakatoshi would try so hard, would love so hard, would never falter, and because of all of those things, he believed that no one else could ever love Hinata like he would. 

Hinata grinned, giggled, laughed. “I think so too,” he agreed whole-heartedly even as Wakatoshi wanted to curl in on himself from repulsion at those confident words. “And I know I’m the one who will love you most of all, best of all,” Hinata told Wakatoshi, sitting up on his knees as he leaned forward. He didn’t seem twenty in that moment. He seemed older than time, wiser than a sage. Wakatoshi could only hope to ever _know_ as Hinata knew. 

“Hinata-“

“Hey, Toshi, will you call me Shouyo?”

Wakatoshi looked into brown eyes, nodded slowly. “Shouyo, if it’s okay with you, let’s not take any time. I don’t think I need it after all.”

Hinata’s whole face shone radiantly as his lips smiled so big, so proud. He was shining, truly, so beautiful in the very purest form of the word. He was gorgeous. “Of course it’s okay with me, silly. I’ve been saying that this whole time.”

“I’m sorry, Hi- Shouyo.”

Hinata nodded, smiled some more. 

“No, I’m really sorry,” Wakatoshi breathed as he leaned forward and captured Hinata’s face, as he kissed that pure smile of sunshine. Hinata gasped softly and instantly melted his lips to Wakatoshi’s. Being with Wakatoshi could really ruin Hinata, but he resolved to himself to give Hinata every chance in life to succeed, to be everything he was meant to be. He swore to never be an anchor but only ever a sail. He swore he would work harder for Hinata’s future than he had ever worked for his own. And he swore he would never let Hinata feel unsure in his love, or insecure. He would do his absolute best, because Hinata deserved better than even that. With his kiss, he promised all of these things and more, and he _knew_ Hinata was making his own promises as fingers clenched at his palm, another hand sinking into his hair. 

“Hey, Toshi, my slippers are getting cold,” Hinata hushed against soft lips. 

“You knew they wouldn’t collect any dust at all, didn’t you?”

Hinata pulled back a little, smiling softly. “Actually, that was the one thing I didn’t know, but I never let up hope. I was really scared, you know.”

“I’m sorry,” whispered Wakatoshi. 

“It’s okay, I know you’re a big dummy.”

Wakatoshi laughed softly. He pressed his forehead to Hinata’s and rubbed his soft cheek. “I’m sorry this dummy made you cry.”

“Yeah,” murmured Hinata, quietly emotional again. 

“Shouyo, you’re the best thing I’ve ever been blessed with. I want you to always know that.”

Plump lips pressed together as Hinata forced back tears. “If I ever forget, will you remind me?” he choked out, wet tears kissing at Wakatoshi’s hand on his cheek. He had never been so vulnerable, nor so beautiful. 

“Any time, any day, I will remind you whenever you need me to. Maybe not always with words, because I suck at those, but I’m decent at kisses and hugs and just... being there...” 

“Toshi,” hushed an overemotional Hinata. “Maybe we should go up to my place instead,” he rushed as he grabbed at Wakatoshi’s hands again. 

“But your slippers-“ murmured Wakatoshi. 

“My bed is really small...” agreed Hinata with a nod. 

“I can’t wait either, but-“

“Hurry!” whispered Hinata fiercely as he pulled back from Wakatoshi’s grasp. Wakatoshi didn’t think he’d ever moved as fast as he did when he slammed his car into reverse, peeling out of the space he’d parked in. Hinata grabbed with two hands at his, breathing heavy. The music was lost to the pounding of blood in their ears. 

“Ah, fuck this,” whispered Hinata as one of his hands jerked to Wakatoshi’s lap, blindly searching for his crotch. 

“Shouyo!” Wakatoshi warned sharply as he stepped on the gas a little harder. 

“I know, I know, but you didn’t let me touch you at all this morning and all I wanted was to make you feel good, too, but you’re such a dummy!”

“Shouyo, I promise when we get home, you can-“

“Home?” whispered Hinata, looking earnestly at Wakatoshi’s side profile. He flew through an orange light and thought he’d never felt like such a bad dude. He almost laughed at how absurd this situation was for a 35 year old man. He pulled Hinata’s hand to his lips instead and kissed his knuckles before returning them both to his gearshift. Hinata pressed his other hand to Wakatoshi’s thick thigh. “I’ll be good,” he promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s happening. It’s finally happening 😂😤👌🏼


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Hinata proceeded to not be “good” 😈😏

“Come on,” whispered Wakatoshi as he parked a little haphazardly, two eager bodies piling out into a silent parking garage. It was late, wasn’t it? But neither cared right now. Hinata grabbed Wakatoshi’s hand as they ran to the elevator. Not even the soft music there could calm their desire. Wakatoshi input his entry code wrong twice before Hinata pushed his hand away and input it for him. 

The moment the apartment door shut, Hinata hopped into his arms. The kiss they’d both needed was given, both too eager in their give and take to worry about how they looked. Teeth bumped together, harsh pants filling the small space. Wakatoshi pulled Hinata’s shoes off for him and stepped out of his own. The house still smelled like Hinata’s dinner. 

“Are you hungry?” asked Wakatoshi, breathless. Hinata frowned, his hand twisted into brown hair. 

“Only for you,” he whispered with a coy smile, and Wakatoshi growled at him for his terrible joke. Hinata mewled back and now Wakatoshi knew that wasn’t the right response to punish Hinata. He decided to let the issue of food go, knowing it was useless for both of them. Lips melted to his again soon enough and he walked them blindly to his bedroom with no further ado. Only there, at his bedside, did he turn on a lamp, only a soft light to set the mood that had been established long ago. Wakatoshi laid Hinata down on his bed and stood over him to take it in for a moment.

“You belong here,” he hushed, _knowing_ it for the very first time. Hinata smiled bewitchingly up at him. 

“I do,” crooned the small redhead. “As you belong in my arms.”

“Let me take off my jacket,” Wakatoshi hushed, already trying to peel himself out of it, feeling like a toddler again with how difficult it suddenly was. He tossed his coat aside for the first time in his adult life, and Hinata preened at him proudly. This only made Wakatoshi retaliate by unclothing his top half completely, which only made Hinata keen more happily. 

“I can’t win with you,” husked Wakatoshi, and Hinata laughed beautifully in his ear. 

“Isn’t that perfect, though?” And Wakatoshi couldn’t disagree. 

“Help me with your shirt,” he mumbled against soft lips. Hinata’s fingers worked deftly. Shirt and belt were tossed aside, Hinata started next on Wakatoshi’s pants when the other man lifted him again, placing him in the middle of the bed so he could climb over top of Hinata. Wakatoshi felt suddenly very nervous, and so he said, “You first,” unbuttoning and slipping his hands into Hinata’s pants to ruck them down. This made Hinata sit up and huff, leaning into Wakatoshi to grab at his pants again.

“Says who? Why are you suddenly deciding? You’ve already seen my goodies.”

“I want to see them again,” Wakatoshi rushed, more insistently pulling around Hinata’s pants. He pulled the other into his lap and kissed him in hopes of distracting him, but Hinata would have none of it. 

“You’ve already made me wait, you big dummy, so I’m saying I go first!”

Hinata pushed at Wakatoshi’s shoulders, and his hands slipped away and down to the bed, and suddenly there was silence. Wakatoshi’s hands lay on the bed sheet, _shaking_. 

“Damn it,” he whispered, voice choked. 

Hinata slowly looked up at him with big, wide eyes. He licked at his lips carefully. “Toshi?” he hushed. 

“Shouyo, I’m...” began Wakatoshi, but he couldn’t say it. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and so he gripped them together in his lap, highlighting his lack of boner. He dropped his head sharply in shame and breathed out, “I’m so nervous.”

“Hey, Toshi,” whispered a perfect, wonderful, sweet Hinata. He took his hand and slowly maneuvered him to lay down against the pillows stacked against the headboard. “Darling,” keened a beautiful, pure angel. A hand caressed over Wakatoshi’s cheek and he slowly lifted his eyes to behold Hinata in all of his gorgeous glory. 

“It’s okay,” he said with a sweet smile. “Just... let me?”

Wakatoshi covered his eyes with his free hand, but slowly he nodded. He couldn’t believe he’d ruined himself as any kind of confident man in Hinata’s eyes. What would the other think of him? His pants were pulled down and off and Hinata breathed out softly. It wasn’t until a soft kiss lighted the fingers over his olive eyes that Wakatoshi’s hand stopped shaking. 

“Toshi, you’re perfect, you know? Every moment, you remind me of how wonderful you really are, how well you care for me. Please don’t be nervous...” A soft laugh and then, “Though, I guess I should take it as a compliment?”

“Yes-!” rushed Wakatoshi, hand slipping down to reveal one eye. “God, yes.”

Hinata laughed that beautiful laugh of his, making Wakatoshi wish he could be better about sharing his feelings. A soft kiss pressed again to his knuckles, then to his cheek, and next his lips. It was a soft, reassuring thing, a trail following down his neck and chest. Hinata took his time, reinvigorating Wakatoshi’s pride as a man, as a lover. He teased at hip bones, worked down boxer briefs past thighs and off. Wakatoshi shut his eyes as his cock shivered at the cool air in the room. 

“Wow.”

The murmur of appreciation that Hinata gave was enough to make Wakatoshi’s chest swell up. He covered his mouth to hide the goofy smile that formed there, not sure why suddenly he was behaving like a teenager. He glanced down at the redhead, and when Hinata looked up at him with fire in his brown eyes, Wakatoshi let out a rough sound. 

“That won’t do,” murmured Hinata with a smile as he reached up and pulled the man’s hands off his face. “I want to see and hear you.” 

Wakatoshi’s cheeks burned hot. Hinata would be the death of him. But all of those worries were tossed aside as soon as soft lips caressed ever so softly over his cock. He was still only halfway to hard, but Hinata would get him there in a minute if he kept doing that. His breath rushed over Wakatoshi, kisses raining ever so softly down on him. 

“Shouyo,” he gasped at one point, a rush of blood down to his groin, and Hinata giggled as his cock revived, smacked softly against Hinata’s cheek. A hand curled around his shaft and Wakatoshi tossed his head back, biting his lip to hold back a moan. 

“Let me hear your, please...” Hinata whispered against sensitive skin, and the other man whimpered, softly releasing his lip from his teeth. He hated this; it was so damn embarrassing, but he would do anything, literally anything for this man. He swallowed roughly, peering down over his chest at Hinata. Brown eyes flickered up and Hinata smiled at him, looking too sweet to have a cock so close to his lips. Then his eyes darted back down as he gave Wakatoshi a rub, murmuring, “And I thought you were impressive before...”

Wakatoshi inhaled sharply, worried suddenly about whether Hinata was implying he was too big, but when melty brown eyes turned back up to him and Hinata molded lips to his skin, he forgot all about it. He watched as Hinata’s tiny mouth slowly swallowed his cock head, heat and wet closing around him and all he could do was lay back, weak, shaking. Hinata would ruin him, and Wakatoshi was okay with it. 

Hinata’s tongue swirled around, flicking over the tip as he tasted Wakatoshi. It curled under the bulb of his head, around the upper part of his shaft as he slowly sank his mouth deeper. Wakatoshi was trying really hard not to make embarrassing sounds, but he knew soon it would be fruitless if Hinata kept going like this. There was no way he’d fit all of Wakatoshi, but he damn sure seemed to be trying. 

“Don’t hurt yourself,” warned Wakatoshi as he tried to weakly sit up on his elbows, but that proved to be his demise. Seeing Hinata a third of the way down his cock, lips pink from the effort, eyes so focused on his task as his hand rubbed at the lower part of Wakatoshi’s member, made Wakatoshi let go of a low moan. Hinata choked back his own sound, felt directly against his dick, and Wakatoshi flopped back down, desperate to see but too weak to keep himself up. He scrambled haphazardly for pillows to stuff behind his back, and when he was done, he had a slightly uncomfortable but perfect view of Hinata. He pushed his knuckles to his mouth and moaned again. 

“Toshi~” Hinata mumbled around a mouthful of cock, and Wakatoshi groaned, reaching down to slip his long fingers into curly hair. He rubbed at Hinata’s scalp, slipped his hand down and massaged at his temple and down to his jaw, trying to show his appreciation. Hinata hummed at him in response, saliva dripping past his lips to wet his hands, and suddenly he was going for it with a furtive passion that knocked Wakatoshi back. He cursed into the air, hand slipping from Hinata’s face and flopping down to the bed. 

“Ohh... fuck, Sho- Shouyo,” Wakatoshi croaked out as pleasure began to roll over his whole body, his cock bathed in glorious wet heat and the perfect amount of suction. “Shouyo, I’m gonna cum-“

Hinata hummed, never slowing down, and as soon as the warning was out, Wakatoshi felt his dam break. Hinata jerked still in surprise, making a short noise as suddenly his mouth was filled up with hot release. He pulled off a little, trying to swallow, trying to work Wakatoshi through it. Wakatoshi was too ruined to even tell Hinata it was okay, he was so good. He sank like a limp rag doll to the bed, breathing heard, all of his skin prickling pleasantly from the orgasm Hinata had so beautifully wrought out of him. “Oh, Shouyo,” he whispered, cheeks bright red. He bit at the inside of one, trying to keep his emotions in check as he lay there breathing hard. Hinata was still leaning heavy over him, silent. “Shouyo?” 

Slowly, a head of red appeared, Hinata’s eyes big and wet, cheeks puffed out and lips shut tight. 

“Shouyo, spit it out!” Wakatoshi yelped a second later, noticing the little dribble of white down his chin, he rushed up from the bed and grabbed a discarded hand towel, coming back to cup it under Hinata’s trembling chin. At first, he shook his head, but Wakatoshi squeezed at his jaw and finally Hinata opened his mouth and spit out cum and an excess of saliva. He let his tongue hang there, eyes cast down and sad. Wakatoshi carefully wrapped up the discard and wiped Hinata’s sweet face with a clean end of the cloth. He dropped the whole thing carefully into his laundry basket, coming back to find Hinata still sitting with a conflicted frown on his face, eyes staring at the sheets by his knees. 

“Shouyo?” Wakatoshi whispered as he cupped Hinata’s face, trying to get him to look up. He was aware that he was still naked, but his concern for Hinata trumped his embarrassment. 

Hinata slowly pressed a hand to his lips, quiet. “I wanted... to swallow it... and make it really good for you...” he murmured eventually, brown eyes so pretty slowly drifting up to Wakatoshi’s. 

“But it felt really good,” Wakatoshi said with a question in his voice. He wiped at Hinata’s pink lips, trying to figure out where the problem was. “And I wouldn’t want you to swallow if it tasted bad.”

“It didn’t taste bad,” Hinata said quickly, grabbing at Wakatoshi’s hands, pulling himself closer. “It was just... a whole lot.” His cheeks turned bright red and Wakatoshi thought he had to be the cutest creature in existence. 

He pulled Hinata to him as he couldn’t help but laugh, couldn’t help but feel that he loved Hinata so incredibly much. He was so _fond_ of Hinata. He nestled the red head beneath his chin, wrapped him up in his arms. 

After about fifteen minutes, Hinata began to fidget quietly, and ten minutes later he was trying to rub at something between his legs. Wakatoshi loosened his arm curiously, looking down only to find Hinata red-faced, breathing heavy, dick in hand and hard as a rock. Brown eyes slipped up, a look in them that was so hazy, and a soft smile tugged at his lips. A small hand clung to Wakatoshi’s bicep. 

“Sorry,” Hinata hushed as he kept jacking himself off, curled up in Wakatoshi’s lap. “I got really... horny while I was...” 

Wakatoshi choked on a glob of spit, eyes going wide as he slipped a hand down a slim thigh. “Let... me,” he breathed, but Hinata kept his hand moving, not letting go even when the other man cupped a hand over his own. He breathed out a blissful little noise, high and breathy, craning his neck up to Wakatoshi. 

“Just, kiss me,” hushed Hinata with eager eyes, trembling lips. Wakatoshi’s hand slipped down over his heavy balls and down between plush cheeks, finding that sweet little puckering hole to rub at as he bent down and captured Hinata’s lips and his high whine. Another hand closed around Hinata’s jaw as he pulled the other deeper into the kiss, rubbed circles at his entrance, didn’t let up until Hinata was crying high and sweet and cumming all over his fist. 

“Ahh,” murmured Wakatoshi as he slowly pulled back, hand slipping to cup Hinata’s wet hand, his other pulling the redhead to his chest as he cradled him. He couldn’t show his face; his whole facade was breaking in two. Hinata was stripping him down and baring his heart to the whole world. Hinata was the only thing that mattered. 

“Toshi, I love you,” hushed a tiny voice, full of so much emotion that it made Wakatoshi’s throat get tight. How could he even describe his feelings? The word love didn’t feel like enough, and yet when Hinata said it, it meant the whole world. 

“Yeah,” he husked, too loud at first, too raw. “Yeah,” he whispered, more broken as he pulled Hinata tighter. He reveled in the feel of a tiny hand sinking into his hair. He ate up every moment they were together. “Me too,” he whispered to a mess of orange curls, not sure if it was enough, but it was all he could manage right in the moment. 

“Toshi, I’m sticky,” whispered Hinata with an embarrassed giggle. He shifted in the man’s lap, as Wakatoshi begged him, “Shouyo, don’t say things that make me want to...” He swallowed the rest of his words. Hinata slowly sat up and looked up at him. 

“Toshi~” he murmured again. Wakatoshi slowly met his eyes. “A shower?” begged the cutest little creature alive, and how could Wakatoshi deny it even if he didn’t want to? He pulled Hinata up and carried him to the bathtub, setting him there. He moved about to grab towels, eyes watching him silently. When he turned again, Hinata was staring so intensely that Wakatoshi felt shy. Hinata turned his eyes slowly up and his lips formed into the most beautiful smile. He slowly stood, and now it was Wakatoshi’s turn to admire the beauty before him. 

“Oh, Shouyo...” he murmured more to himself. As the redhead approached him, he sank to his knees, dropping the towels and grabbing up Hinata’s arms, around his waist, pulling him close. “You’re breathtaking,” he whispered before he lost his nerve, and Hinata’s reaction made it worth it. His knees locked and he sank into Wakatoshi, arms around his neck and breathing heavy. 

“I was gonna say that to you,” complained Hinata with a hiccup and a soft giggle. He hugged Wakatoshi’s neck, kissed at his shoulder. Wakatoshi scooped him up and prepped the water, holding Hinata to his chest as he waited. When the bath was full, he slipped the two inside the tub. Hinata disconnected slowly from his neck, still in his lap but giving them space to look at each other. Wakatoshi cupped his cheek slowly, and Hinata shut his eyes and inhaled deeply, turning to kiss a wet palm. 

“I love you,” Hinata whispered again, nuzzling to Wakatoshi’s hand, making his heart twist up in all kinds of ways at how adorable the redhead was. And the redhead was his, wasn’t he? He was almost afraid to ask if that’s what all of this meant. He had gone about it in the wrong way, he thought. Hinata deserved something more proper. Wakatoshi rubbed softly at his hairline. 

And there was someone else he needed to speak to, as well. It tasted bitter to even think of it, but Hinata deserved that at the very least. Hinata deserved only the best treatment and respect. Wakatoshi softly kissed his nose. 

“Shouyo, I have a meeting tomorrow night, but on Saturday, let’s go out.”

Brown eyes opened and Hinata cupped his hand over Wakatoshi’s, watching him with a soft look. “Are you asking me out on a date?” he whispered with a slow smile. 

Wakatoshi slid a hand to his thigh, stopping at a respectable place as he nodded. “Only if you’d like to-“ he added in a rush, but Hinata just clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes with a laugh. 

“There’s something I have to do first, but if you’ll wait for me...” murmured Wakatoshi into the quiet of the steamy bathroom. He leaned a little closer to Hinata, watching him. Hinata gave him a sweet smile. 

“I’ll always wait for you, Wakatoshi.”

He released a rough exhale, not even realizing until now he’d been nervous for Hinata’s reply. He pulled two small hands to his chest, falling so madly in love with this tiny redhead that he couldn’t speak. 

“Wear something... nice,” Wakatoshi choked out finally, and Hinata’s eyes went a little wide, but he nodded. 

“Wakatoshi,” he whispered, a note of nervousness to the word, but Wakatoshi quickly assured him with a soft kiss to his temple. 

“You deserve at least that much.”

Still Hinata fidgeted in Wakatoshi’s lap. He reached up with shaky hands and pulled Wakatoshi down into a kiss. “You don’t have to feel like you need to impress me or anything-“

“Shouyo,” murmured Wakatoshi. “Just... promise you’ll be good and wait for me.”

Hinata pressed his lips together, nodding quickly. 

And of course Wakatoshi had to impress him, but it was more than that. Wakatoshi had to give Hinata the best because he deserved it. He had to give him every finest things because Hinata was a prince, an angel, and Wakatoshi had to... earn that somehow. 

He slowly washed Hinata’s small body and then his own, wrapping them up in towels and finding something for Hinata to sleep in. 

“Don’t put on any pj’s,” came a quiet voice, Wakatoshi turning to find Hinata behind him, fidgeting. “Let’s just cuddle naked in bed.”

Wakatoshi slowly stood, turning to inspect the beautiful creature before him. Hinata slowly let his towel slip off his frame, looking up through long lashes like the damn vixen he was. Wakatoshi swallowed harshly, watched Hinata traipse to the bed and crawl in. For his own sanity, he pulled on a pair of boxer briefs, but Hinata was butt naked, and enticing Wakatoshi to come with wet lips and big eyes. Wakatoshi crawled in and Hinata immediately pressed flat against his body. Wakatoshi could feel every intimate detail, and suddenly he thought he might not get any sleep at all. 

Hinata pushed up and kissed at his jaw, the only thing he could reach as Wakatoshi wrapped him up to preserve a bit of decorum. If he kissed Hinata now, he’d never stop. His blood rushed in his chest, and Hinata slowly pressed a hand and his ear to it. He hummed softly. 

“Toshi,” whispered Hinata.

After a moment of silence, Wakatoshi quipped with a small, “Hmm?”

Hinata gave another slow hum back, slowly going limp in Wakatoshi’s arms. “I-“ he began, but Wakatoshi never heard the rest of it. Hinata was dead asleep a second later. Wakatoshi slowly pressed his face to orange curls, smiling so big that it hurt. 

“Damn you, Shouyo,” he husked, not meaning a word of it. 

_I love you so awfully much._

He really, really meant that. 

x

Wakatoshi stood in front of the restaurant, the high, late afternoon sun baking him in his suit. He glanced around again, shades on his eyes to block the harsh light. Girls passed by and gave second looks, some little waves and others whispered comments to friends, but Wakatoshi ignored them all. All he could think of was Hinata, waiting for him at home. He’d been antsy all day, and Friday he’d barely gotten anything done. His meeting had gone okay, but that was mostly because of the alcohol he’d consumed to get him through it. He was a mess. He needed some liquid courage soon.

“Wakatoshi, darling!” called an oh-so-familiar voice, and Wakatoshi turned to find his mother sweeping in towards him, looking every bit the picture of sophistication in her kimono and tied up salt and pepper hair. Wakatoshi could only hope to ever be so regal at her age. He hoped he looked as good she did too, especially when he’d have Hinata on his arm. He’d never thought the word cradle robber would apply to him, or that he’d worry about how he’d age. 

“Let’s head inside,” he said, feeling an itch under his skin that he hoped a glass of sake would solve. His mother quietly followed him, not saying a word as she eyed her son from behind. They were seated, and Wakatoshi ordered a bottle of her favorite alcoholic beverage and some appetizers before he even dared to look at her. 

“What’s all this about?” she asked with a slow, amused laugh. Her eyes were fierce, though, and Wakatoshi was not fooled. This woman that had raised him was not one to cross. He rubbed his hands together; he was about to do just that. 

Still, he made small talk with her until his alcoholic reinforcement arrived. He waited until she’d drank half her cup before opening his mouth to speak. 

“Mom,” he said, voice deep and sure. His mother’s eyes flicked to him and she gave him a calculating smile. 

“I’m guessing by your behavior that the news you have for me might not be what I want to hear.”

Wakatoshi glanced down at the cup in his hand, spinning it slowly on its small platter. “I don’t know, that depends, I guess, but I have been worried about it.”

His mother sighed slowly, setting her own cup gently down. “Well, dear, it’s not like you could ever disappoint me so badly, right?”

He wasn’t quite so sure about that, hence the nerves. Still, he folded his hands on the table before him and steeled himself. 

“Mom, I want to formally ask you to stop the omiais. I don’t want you to look for anyone for me anymore.”

Steely eyes watched him in silence for a long time. Wakatoshi couldn’t pull his eyes off his hands. Finally, she asked him, “Can I ask why?”

“Mom, I’ve...” Olive eyes shifted over and then up, and he swallowed roughly, but the thought of Hinata made him brave, and so he smiled. “I’ve found someone I love with everything in me.”

While this news would have instantly elated most mothers, his mom knew Wakatoshi too well to rejoice so soon. Wakatoshi wouldn’t be this nervous if he’d found a good woman. “So, who is it?” she asked, knowing all too well what his behavior meant. She sighed slowly and leaned against the table, breaking her stiff pose. “What, will I disapprove of your choice?”

Wakatoshi had thought of million ways he could answer that question, knowing it would come, but the one he’d kept coming back to was, “I hope not.” His mother watched him. 

“But there’s something you’re worried about,” she said after a long while, and Wakatoshi nodded. Well, it was more than one thing. His eyebrow quirked and she inhaled sharply, reading him like an open book. “Oh, I see.”

“Well, as long as I can get at least one grandchild soon-“

“Mom,” interrupted Wakatoshi, and aside from the fact that Hinata was a man, or their age difference, this was the thing that he knew would upset his mother the most. “This person and I- we won’t be able to do that.”

Deathly silence fell over their table, and Wakatoshi couldn’t look up at all. His mother didn’t speak for a long, long time, processing. 

“You must really love this person,” she said finally in a slightly less fierce tone than he’d expected. He looked up with big eyes, shocked. Well, her brows were still knit together, and her lips thin, but she wasn’t screaming at him, so that was a good start. Better than he’d hoped, in fact. 

“I do,” he whispered reverently, unable to stop the blush to his cheeks, and she sighed in great defeat. 

“Then, tell me more about this person. Why can’t you have kids? Is she barren?”

Wakatoshi fidgeted in his chair, unsure about how to say the rest of it. 

“You’ve already told me the worst part, I believe,” she said finally. When a hand covered his own, he looked up again in surprise. She was smiling. God, his mother was smiling at him. “Wakatoshi, I’ve never seen you like this, and knowing you, you’ve antagonized over your feelings for long enough to be sure they are real. Which means there’s nothing I can say or do that will change your mind, so let me just hear about this person and be happy for you, darling.”

“Aren’t you upset? About the children-“

She waved him off, saying, “Of course I’m upset about it. It’s all I wanted in my old age. Well, that’s a bit of a lie,” she added with a soft smile. “All I really wanted was to see you happy with someone you love, and it seems you’ve found that, so I’ve no choice, do I?”

He inhaled sharply, trying to just remember Hinata, think only of Hinata so that he could say what he needed to. 

“Mom, it’s a man.” He let that settle in for a bare moment before spitting out, “He’s twenty.” And then, in the softest tone, “I cannot wait for you to meet him, Mama.”

“Oh, boy,” whispered his mother ever so softly, but she never pulled her hand back. “I see why the children thing is out the door,” she murmured. He gave her a lopsided, awkward smile, not daring to meet her eyes. 

“You always did do the exact opposite of anything I pressured you into. You liked to find your own way, your own solution to everything. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that when it came to your love life you would be no different at all.”

“Mama, please believe me when I say that I thought about this for a long, long time-“

“Oh, I’m sure!” she said with a soft laugh. “And? How does he feel about you?”

Wakatoshi turned absolutely bright red and she laughed again. “He says he loves me,” he said in the tiniest voice possible, and she chuckled, patting his hand. 

“I’m sure you made him suffer with your overly thorough nature.”

“I did,” admitted Wakatoshi shamefully, head bowed to his chest. 

She tugged slowly at his hand. “Darling, look at me.”

Slowly, olive eyes lifted, and she smiled. 

“You can’t try to solve all of his problems with your money, okay. He’s still young, and so he’ll need to learn to stand on his own feet before he ever relies on you.”

He nodded roughly, his hair shaking. He knew that better than anyone. His mother took in his pained expression. 

“Darling, as long as you let him be his own person, and think as deeply as you always do about how to treat him, you cannot ruin anything as badly as you fear for that boy. Just... listen to him, and let him spread his own wings in his own time.”

“Yes, Mama.”

“And as for children, there’s always adoption,” she said proudly as she pulled her spine straight again. She grinned at Wakatoshi, as he turned beet red again. Kids... with Hinata. 

“Well, for now just let him grow up and enjoy your time alone. There’s always time to think about the future later.”

She hadn’t been saying that a few weeks ago, but it didn’t matter now, because she’d given her approval, and now Wakatoshi just wanted to _see him_.

“Mom, tell me what to get for him for when I ask him... to be mine.”

She tossed her head back and laughed heartily. Wiping at her eyes, she murmured, “Oh, I never could have won against you.”

She stood and moved to his side, taking his hands and leaning down to kiss his forehead, something she’d done since he was little. “I’m proud of you, my sweetest boy. That boy is lucky to have you. Don’t forget that. And don’t forget you’re lucky to have him, too.”

“Yes, Mama.” He swallowed deeply, storing these feelings in his heart. “Thank you... for everything.”

x

Wakatoshi had spent nearly an hour debating over it, but he still wasn’t sure he’d made the right choice. Everything he’d chosen at first felt “too soon” or “too business-like”, and in the end, the only other thing his brain had been able to come up with was a dozen soft orange roses that reminded him of Hinata’s hair in the sun. He set the flowers down on his passenger seat and stuffed the back up present into his coat pocket as he stepped out of the car, fixing his hair and jacket nervously. He was still dressed from lunch with his mother, so he wondered if he should change into a new suit, not wanting Hinata to feel like he was getting sloppy seconds. The problem was that Hinata was waiting for him upstairs. 

The elevator dinged softly, and Wakatoshi had never been so nervous as he disembarked, making his way to his own front door. He entered his entry code and stepped inside, the apartment quiet. He glanced down, but Hinata’s slippers weren’t at the door. He took off his own shoes and moved inside, calling, “Shouyo?”

The living room and kitchen were empty, so next he moved to the bedroom, noting again how quiet it was. His bedroom door was ajar, but his bathroom door was shut tight, a light shining through the bottom crack.

“Shouyo?”

He pressed his hand to the door, knocked. “Shou-“

“Don’t come in!”

Wakatoshi froze, hand still raised, wondering if he’d heard wrong. “Shouyo?” he called again.

“Please don’t come in!” begged Hinata again, voice wavering.

“What’s wrong?” asked Wakatoshi immediately, all the bad things suddenly running through his head.

“It’s- embarrassing!” Hinata sounded like he was close to tears or already crying.

“If I can help you-“

“Wakatoshi~!” whined the redhead through the door. Then quieter, “I don’t want you to see.”

Wakatoshi paused for only a half a breath, and then he announced, “I’m coming in.”

“No,” cried Hinata, but it was a weak thing, and by then Wakatoshi already had the door wide open, staring into his bathroom. Clothes lay on the floor, along with a few towels and other bathroom necessities. It seemed Hinata had either purchased new things or had brought stuff from home to use. In the midst of that whole mess sat a weeping Hinata, looking absolutely handsome. His hands covered his groin, and he turned away from Wakatoshi with red cheeks. The major thing was that Hinata didn’t look physically hurt. 

“What’s wrong, Shouyo?” Wakatoshi asked calmly. Hinata sniffled but didn’t respond, so Wakatoshi slipped down to the floor behind him and physically turned the man around. “Let me see,” he urged.

Slowly Hinata uncovered his crotch, and Wakatoshi saw the problem immediately. He gave a crooked smile, looking up into Hinata’s teary eyes. Hinata’s zipper for his pants had gone a little wonky and gotten caught in his boxers, and it seemed this is what had caused the breakdown. 

“Don’t laugh,” begged Hinata, mortified.

“It’s an easy fix,” assured Wakatoshi. “It’s happened to me plenty of times.” He lifted Hinata up to his feet and immediately worked the zipper first down, and then carefully back up. “It just got caught,” he said when he’d finished, looking up with a small smile. That’s when he finally noticed how Hinata’s hands were shaking. 

“I was... so nervous,” the redhead quietly admitted, eyes looking down and away, fingers hooking together. “And then I thought maybe I wouldn’t look right, especially next to you, and I worried I would embarrass you-“

Wakatoshi could hear the words, but they all went in one ear and out the other. He’d sank back to sit on his knees, mouth hanging slack, eyes unblinking. Now that he could see the full picture, he was speechless. 

Hinata had combed his messy hair into some sort of submission, styling it back in a nice way; he looked older than he normally did. He wore a soft grey button up and a black bow tie, black slacks on his thin legs, and everything fit him very well. Like, criminally well. “Is this a tailored suit?” were the first intelligent words out of Wakatoshi mouth as he continued to stare. Hinata shyly covered his chest with his hands, only showing off further how well the top fit his slim frame. 

“No?” he whispered. “Umm, I just...” He stopped talking there, suddenly red again. “Does it look bad?” he begged, mortified. 

Slowly, Wakatoshi pulled his olive eyes back up to Hinata’s gorgeous face, and he slowly blinked, shut his mouth. “No,” he said bluntly. “You look... really good.”

Hinata’s face instantly flooded with relief, and his hands dropped as he rushed out a sigh. “Oh, that’s good,” he said shyly. He glanced at Wakatoshi with a criminally adorable look. 

“Ah...” murmured Wakatoshi as he slowly stood himself up. “I’m gonna... change,” he said as he stiffly turned back towards his bedroom. 

“Why?” asked Hinata with big eyes. “You look perfect-“

“No,” was all Wakatoshi said, feeling suddenly very, very inadequately dressed. He robotically stripped and pulled out his best clothes, a navy button up and his favorite pearlescent tie, along with grey slacks and a matching suit jacket. As he pulled his black one off, he remembered what he had in his pocket, pulling it out and setting it aside on his bed. He changed even his underwear very quietly, adding cuff links and a tie clip, moving back into the bathroom silently. Hinata was still nervously adjusting this and that, but he turned sharply when Wakatoshi entered again, going a little pale and deathly quiet. 

“Oh,” he whispered, and now Wakatoshi felt like a nervous wreck. He straightened his sleeves, trying to act calm and cool but feeling very much the opposite. He tried to discretely look Hinata over again, and he still felt like he wasn’t quite making the cut, but he’d pulled out his best. Maybe he just had to accept that he was gonna have a really hot date from now on. His eyes met Hinata’s and they both froze. 

“Wakatoshi, you...” hushed the redhead, his skin suddenly very pink and alive, his eyes glistening. He scrubbed a hand awkwardly over his face. “Umm, I hope this is okay...” he whispered in the end. 

Wakatoshi stepped up to Hinata and slowly cupped his elbow, waited for brown eyes to drift up, up, up to his own. He pressed his lips together and wished there were specific words for the way Hinata looked right now. The nervous edge to Hinata’s stare told him he had to say something, though. 

“Shouyo,” he tried, then, “Umm, baby doll.” He frowned, the pet name feeling odd on his lips now, but the way Hinata turned beet red seemed to be a good sign. He let out a rough sigh and then said, brutally honest, “You look really fucking good right now.”

Hinata’s eyes snapped wide open, mouth going slack as his whole face down to his neck turned absolutely red. “Wha-“ he sputtered. 

Wakatoshi scratched at the back of his head and muttered, “I thought I should change because you looked really good, and I didn’t want you to think I was just wearing... whatever.”

Hinata sounded like a tiny tea kettle, barely breathing, wheezing in air. He grabbed at Wakatoshi’s jacket sleeves and tried to keep himself steady. 

“That’s... not fair,” he wheezed. “You’re gonna give me... a heart attack- Don’t look at me like that!” Wakatoshi wasn’t sure how he was looking at Hinata, but he had just been thinking that Hinata was really perfect. 

“Hey, Shouyo,” Wakatoshi said suddenly as he pulled out the box he’d stuffed into his new coat. He took one of Hinata’s hands off his sleeve and pressed the box into it. 

“What?” wheezed Hinata again, and Wakatoshi told him softly, “Breathe, darling.”

This didn’t really help, but slowly Hinata calmed down by himself. 

“I didn’t know what to get you-”

“You got me something?” Hinata asked blankly, fear flooding his eyes. “I didn’t-“ he looked frantically around, but Wakatoshi calmed him with a gentle hand across his cheek. 

“I just... felt I should,” Wakatoshi said. “Well, since...” He cleared his throat. “Well, it’s out first date and...” He didn’t know what else to say, so he went quiet. Also, Hinata was now crying over the small box in his hands, so Wakatoshi thought words wouldn’t matter much. “Open it,” he urged gently. 

Hinata’s hands shook as they tugged the box open, staring at the contents laid out inside, unsure. “Ah...” he murmured, embarrassed again. “Is this a fancy thing?” he hushed with wide eyes, lips pulled tight. 

“They’re, uh, cuff links. If you want them. I didn’t really know if it was a good... first date gift, but I don’t really... buy a lot of presents for boyfriends.”

Hinata laughed, nervous but still finding the joke in it. “No? You haven’t had a lot of boyfriends?” he joked sweetly. 

“You couldn’t tell?” Wakatoshi asked a little flatly, and Hinata laughed, eyes creasing and he was so god dang pretty. 

“Can you...” Hinata fumbled with the small cuff links. “Ahh, I don’t know what I’m doing,” he admitted in embarrassment. Wakatoshi easily took the tiny things from him and asked for his hand one at a time, snapping the cuff links in place. When Hinata held his hands up, Wakatoshi felt some kind of insane burst of pride. Hinata... would really be his, wouldn’t he? 

He quietly adjusted Hinata’s bow tie and then turned to the mirror to fix his own hair. 

“You look fine,” whispered Hinata, sounding close to a heart attack again. When Wakatoshi turned back to him, he was trying to hide the tent in his slacks. 

“Something tells me I shouldn’t,” murmured Wakatoshi, but still he lifted Hinata up to the bathroom counter, stepping between his legs and leaning over him, lips crashing together as Hinata clung to his jacket’s lapel. Ahh, fuck, Wakatoshi was falling every day more hopelessly in love with Hinata. 

“If anyone hits on you,” he breathed against the softest lips, Hinata peeling his eyes open. 

“I could say the same to you,” he mustered, too turned on to really hold conversation. 

“Don’t look at anyone else tonight,” Wakatoshi said, and Hinata keened. 

“It would be impossible... to take my eyes off you... anyways...” he flushed, giving Wakatoshi a shy look that was nothing but illegal. Wakatoshi grabbed around his waist and kissed him deeply again. 

“If we don’t hurry, we’ll be late,” he husked like he wasn’t the one holding them up. He kept Hinata pinned to the counter even with his words installing a sense of urgency. Hinata wiggled and gave the man an audible shiver in response. 

“Wakatoshi,” whispered a tiny voice. Brown eyes met olive and Hinata managed, “You’re really hot,” before he was beet red again. 

Wakatoshi leaned in and begged in a low voice, “Don’t tempt me to take these clothes off of you right here and now.”

Hinata sobered quickly, pulling at Wakatoshi’s jacket, and the other man pulled him back up to sitting and then down to the floor again. He caressed Hinata’s hot cheek for a moment, kissed him one last time. 

“We’ve to behave,” he reminded both Hinata and himself. The redhead nodded slowly, as Wakatoshi took his hand and led him out to the front door. “It’ll be cold so bring your coat.”

Wakatoshi pulled his own overcoat on, Hinata shuffling into his pea coat and black shoes. In the privacy of his apartment building, he held on to Hinata’s hand as they walked to the elevator and then into the garage, opening the door for Hinata, who slowly picked up the roses and stared at Wakatoshi as the man walked around the car to the driver’s side. 

“Like I said, I wasn’t sure what to get you,” explained Wakatoshi awkwardly. He was staring out of his windshield, but Hinata didn’t say anything. He turned, worried he’d made a stupid mistake, but Hinata had his nose buried in one of the roses, his cheeks pinked and his lashes fluttering softly over said cheeks. What an angel he truly was... 

“I actually... really love flowers, and I’ve always wanted to get some... from the person I liked.” Brown eyes batted up shyly at Wakatoshi, and now he was blushing softly. 

“I’ll buy them for you all the time,” he promised, scratching at the back of his head again. “If you want me to-“

“Yes,” breathed Hinata. “Please,” he added with a disarming smile. Wakatoshi rushed in before he’d even thought two seconds and kissed Hinata’s sweet lips. 

Then he awkwardly turned back to face forward and started his car, leaving Hinata to blush and obsess over the hottie beside him into the bouquet of roses that so wonderfully matched his soft hair. When they stepped out of the car in front of the restaurant, a man coming around to valet park the car for them, Hinata felt like some kind of prince as Wakatoshi placed a gently hand on his back and led him inside. Wakatoshi wanted to show him off; that’s what everything screamed to him. He’d left the flowers in the car, and so his hands felt empty. Would Wakatoshi be embarrassed if he put his arm through the man’s? Hinata wanted to be dangling off the man’s arm, that everyone would know this man was his, that he belonged... absolutely... to Wakatoshi. They were seated and Hinata was on some kind of ethereal cloud nine high. 

Wakatoshi ordered them a bottle of sake with the ease of the gentleman Hinata had always dreamed of, and all night he would continue to awe and make Hinata fall. Wakatoshi had always felt so unreachable before, but now he felt like a man who was perfect, and perfectly his. It was an incredible confidence-boosting feeling; Hinata was over the moon. 

While Hinata was experiencing pure bliss, Wakatoshi was going out of his mind. Hinata looked so... perfect, too perfect, and he was losing every ounce of ego he’d ever gathered for himself. He didn’t think it could be real life that Hinata would be here with him right now, be staring at him with stars in his eyes, be _his_. He slid his foot forward under the table until he could catch Hinata’s attention.

“You look perfect,” he mouthed, not wanting to miss a single moment, despite the fact that he was currently feeling like he could never do enough to earn the right to be Hinata’s only. 

Hinata blushed beautifully, and he mouthed back, “You look too good to be true.”

Wakatoshi brushed the tips of his fingers against Hinata’s lax hand on the table. Speaking up now, no need to worry about being overheard, he said, “I want to be true for you.”

Hinata’s own fingers flexed back, lightly flirting over Wakatoshi’s palm. Their alcohol came and Wakatoshi poured Hinata a cup, very smoothly pulling Hinata’s chair a little closer around the table with only his foot. He leaned down on his elbow and watched Hinata examine the sake. 

“Shouyo, I met with my mother this afternoon.” 

Brown eyes met his own, captivated. 

“I wanted to do this thing the right way. You know she’s been trying to find me a wife, but I couldn’t do this tonight until I’d told her about you.”

“What are you doing tonight?” whispered Hinata as he leaned closer, eyes sparkling under the chandeliers. 

“Tonight, I’m asking you officially if you’d like to be my boyfriend.”

Hinata went red and speechless, eyes wide. He glanced down at his sake cup, at the cuff links on his wrist. “Wakatoshi,” he whispered very quietly. “How serious can I assume you are? I mean, about... us. In like a... long term... sense.” He was so red, eyes on his swimming sake. Why did this feel like... 

Wakatoshi watched Hinata for a long time, mind churning, trying to find the words to say, to show he was dead serious, and not scare Hinata off at the same time. 

“Just say it,” whispered Hinata with giant eyes.

“Well, if I could have it my way, I guess I’d like to call this more of an omiai than a date, but I know you’re still young and we’ve only just really started-“ Wakatoshi stopped and scratched at his scalp, red now too. “What I want to say is, my intention... towards you... Shouyo, I want to be with you... for a really, really long time.”

Hinata suddenly slapped his hands over his face, his ears bright red, and Wakatoshi thought that he’d said absolutely way too much, but he needn’t have worried, as always. A hand slipped under the table to his elbow and Hinata tugged his hand down underneath too. Fingers laced together, hidden under the white table cloth, and Hinata slowly lowered his other hand from his face. 

“Wakatoshi,” he whispered. “I love you.”

Brown eyes peeked at the man, looking so perfect. He was momentarily caught off guard by Hinata, first by his words and then by his face. 

“Of course I’ll be your boyfriend,” Hinata said a little louder. He tugged at the brunet’s hand. “You didn’t have to... be this formal about it. Or buy me gifts...”

“Baby,” hushed Wakatoshi suddenly. “I... have to do something... to entice you. To thank you for giving me the time of day.”

“There you go again,” said Hinata with fire in his eyes, frowning at Wakatoshi. “Take that back,” he demanded. 

“I’m not a child,” he told Wakatoshi. “Stop underestimating my love for you. Or assuming you don’t deserve me, like my feelings don’t matter at all.”

Wakatoshi pressed his lips together very quickly, realizing very suddenly that he’d been an absolute fool. He leaned into Hinata and rushed, “Please forgive me, Shouyo. It’s just that you deserve the world.”

Hinata paused for only a spit second before smoothly replying, “Then you should have no problems giving yourself to me, since you’re my whole universe.”

Wakatoshi blinked at Hinata, shocked, surprised, very turned on. “Shouyo, you’re like really fucking pretty,” he said before he could stop the words. He pulled Hinata’s hand into his lap to emphasize his feelings on the matter. Hinata inhaled deeply, lashes fluttering. 

“I can’t take you anywhere,” he hushed even as he smiled with a kind of over-spilling pride. “Wakatoshi, you handsome devil.”

“Shouyo, baby, my baby, I swear I’ll always do my best to make you happy, to make you smile.”

“And I promise to always and continuously adore you,” swore Hinata. Wakatoshi pulled his hand up and gave him a fleeting kiss to his knuckles, white from how hard he clung to Wakatoshi’s hand. Next, he lifted his sake cup with his free hand. 

“Love of my life, here’s to us.”

Hinata took a deep breath, mesmerized as they clinked their glasses together. “I love you,” he reminded the other once he’d downed his sake. “You’re... so hot. Like... god damn, Toshi. I mean you always are, but I feel like I can’t breathe right now.”

Wakatoshi let out a shy chuckle as he refilled their cups. “Please spare me and tell me when we get home. ...I’m still debating taking you into the bathroom right now.”

“Oh,” choked Hinata on his second cup. He pulled his hand back and covered his mouth. If they kept this up, he’d be stripping soon, begging Wakatoshi to take him. “We should... behave,” he whispered, the alcohol burning down his throat, tears in his eyes. Wakatoshi slowly leaned back on his elbow, studying Hinata. His eyes screamed, _But you look so beautiful right now._

“You’re doing it again,” Hinata told him. Wakatoshi innocently picked up his menu and scanned over the few pages. Hinata slowly did the same. 

“Will you order for me?” Hinata asked him suddenly, watching Wakatoshi with big eyes.

The man looked up. “You should order what you want.”

“I don’t know what any of this is,” Hinata said in a panic, and Wakatoshi actually stopped, actually let out a tiny laugh. 

“You laugh, but the fanciest place I’ve ever been is an all you can eat seafood buffet!”

Wakatoshi let out another laugh, eyes big and wide now. He covered his mouth. “Oh my god,” he hushed. “How do you keep becoming more adorable?”

“Wakatoshi,” begged Hinata, and suddenly the man was leaned right into his ear, pointing out a few menu items as he whispered in the most seductive manner, “Shouyo, I want you so badly.”

He pulled back and suddenly there was no one else but them. 

“I... love you,” whispered Wakatoshi as his finger coasted over the palm of Hinata’s limp hand. 

“Can we get... to go?” hushed Hinata.

“You look too good to waste it,” responded Wakatoshi. Hinata couldn’t breathe. What the other man wasn’t saying; Wakatoshi wanted to show Hinata off, which meant he was proud to be seen with him, which meant he needed Hinata... to belong, to be by his side. It meant that Wakatoshi would ravish him later, but now he wanted to devour Hinata with his eyes. 

“Okay,” nodded Hinata, fingers catching Wakatoshi’s hand before it slipped away. “But you have to be good.”

Wakatoshi nodded, and it was perfect timing as the waitress showed up again, and without a word, Wakatoshi ordered food for them both. 

“Whatever you don’t like, I’ll eat, but I promise everything is really good here.”

Hinata slowly sat back in his chair, thinking his heart was full to bursting with love. 

“Wakatoshi,” he asked quietly over another cup of sake. “Do you wish I was older?”

Olive eyes watched Hinata for a long moment. “No,” he finally said. “I mean, I’ll probably always have moments where I’ll feel like I’ve ruined you or stolen your future, but no. I’m excited... to see you become the man I know you can be.” He smiled crookedly then, capturing Hinata’s whole heart as he added, “And I consider it an honor to be yours when I’m basically just an old man.” 

It was a joke, Hinata knew it, which was the only reason why he smiled. “You’re not an old man,” he said. “You’re just my man.” 

The smile that blossomed on Wakatoshi’s face was one of those earth-stopping moments, and Hinata took it in with his whole entire soul. Wakatoshi was right; it would be hard at times, and maybe they would doubt themselves, but Hinata knew neither of them would ever, ever doubt their feelings, or each other.

Hinata felt a little bad when he ate more than half of the food, when Wakatoshi ordered dessert and he inhaled most of that too, but when Wakatoshi smiled at him again, he was reminded that Wakatoshi _liked him_ , that he knew about Hinata’s giant stomach and his nature to embarrass himself, about his imperfections and yet he still _liked him_.

Hinata pulled the flowers back to his chest as they climbed into his boyfriend’s car at the end of the evening, Wakatoshi watching him with so much fondness, proud to have shown Hinata off. 

“Take me home,” whispered Hinata into his flowers, turning to Wakatoshi with big, wet eyes and a wobbly smile. Wakatoshi grabbed his hand and placed it with his own on the gear shift as he pulled out into the main road. 

“Always,” promised Wakatoshi, and Hinata sank deep into the seat of the car, thinking he might really just float away with how light he felt. 

Wakatoshi was every dream that Hinata had never dared to hope for rolled into an actual man. He loved him, this handsome, heart-stealing, devil of a man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE THEM


	7. Chapter 7

Wakatoshi held his hand out as he opened the door for Hinata, and he watched a small hand slip into his own, the touch enough to make his lips tug up. The bundle of roses came to Wakatoshi’s chest, and behind it Hinata hid his face. Wakatoshi just quietly slid their fingers together and shut the car door, walking them to the elevator. He’d surprised himself at dinner, but something about Hinata made him so much bolder than he usually was. Seeing Hinata looking so nice all dressed up didn’t help him hold back either. He squeezed Hinata’s hand, felt the other return the gesture. In the elevator, he pulled Hinata to his side and kissed the top of his head.

Wakatoshi pulled off his jacket and shoes as he always did as soon as he entered his apartment, but this time when he moved into the living room, Hinata stayed behind. He turned in surprise to find Hinata standing absolutely still in the entryway.

“Shouyo?” he called quietly, taking a step back towards him. 

The roses slowly lowered enough to show Hinata’s eyes and the tips of his red ears, now visible since his hair was combed back. Wakatoshi stopped and watched the other silently, a soft look on his face. 

“I’m suddenly feeling very nervous,” Hinata whispered, the roses shaking a little. Brown eyes looked Wakatoshi over before quickly averting. “My feet won’t move...”

Wakatoshi stepped up to Hinata and assured him, “We don’t need to do anything tonight-“

“No! No, I really want to. I’ve been wanting to for forever.” A broken laugh hiccuped out from behind the flowers. “Just... being with you tonight and seeing you looking so handsome... I’m feeling very self-conscious all of a sudden.”

“We’ve both seen each other naked before,” Wakatoshi said with a confused knit to his brows. 

“Yeah, and I’d accepted that you were really good-looking, but you’re on a much different level tonight and you were so smooth and confident and I-“

Wakatoshi swooped in softly and circled his arms around Hinata’s waist, hands spreading against his sides as he slowly kissed the man’s forehead. Then he slowly pulled back and showed Hinata his own hands. “I’m... always nervous around you, but I don’t know what came over me tonight. I want you so badly, and yet...” His hands trembled, raised in the air, and Hinata blinked at them with wide eyes. Wakatoshi laughed. “And yet I’m still a wreck inside.”

“So we’re both nervous,” Hinata said with a soft giggle. 

“I think that’s okay,” nodded Wakatoshi. “But, Shouyo, I...” he swept back in and rubbed his nose to Hinata’s scalp as he softly breathed, “I truly want you so very badly. I want to make love to you.” 

Neither missed the tremble in his voice, or the way his cheeks blushed as he pulled back. 

“Can we... put my flowers in a vase first?” Hinata asked, still peering shyly over his roses, and Wakatoshi nodded and smiled. 

“Will your feet move?” he asked sweetly, but it made Hinata blubber out a, “I’m fine!” Wakatoshi just smiled and swept Hinata up into his arms, roses and all, and carried him to the kitchen where he sat him on the counter top. He pulled out the only vase he had, a plain one his mother had left once, and he filled it with water quietly. He set it next to Hinata and then took the flowers from him to cut open the packaging around it. He laid it out with the scissors and Hinata began to quietly snip the ends and place them in the vase. Wakatoshi pressed a careful hand first to Hinata’s knee as he worked, and then, seeing no objection, he slid his hand up as he came to stand just between Hinata’s spread knees, watching him the whole time with a look on his face that could make anyone melt into a puddle. Hinata thought it best to ignore, but he still could feel his cheeks heat up, the intensity of the gaze impossible to ignore. 

When he was done. He set the scissors down and slowly turned to Wakatoshi, hands reaching out to grip into the man’s sleeves. He started from his waist and slowly looked him up and over. His lip shook slightly, but the heat was rising again. Wakatoshi had been kind enough to remind him that he would be so, so sweet to him. Hinata slid a hand up to Wakatoshi’s thick neck and slowly smiled. 

“I still can’t really believe that I can call you my boyfriend,” whispered the redhead, eyes a little glossy. Wakatoshi smiled just at the word. 

“I can’t believe you agreed to it,” he murmured a little self-deprecatingly, giving Hinata a smile. The other opened his mouth to object, but Wakatoshi shushed him softly. “I know I’m bad at giving compliments, but I’m just trying to say that I think you’re perfect.”

A thick finger caressed softly over Hinata’s red cheek, and brown eyes melted. Hinata’s smile was soft and genuine. Slowly, he parted his thighs and Wakatoshi reached down to his hips and slid Hinata closer to himself, to the edge of the counter. Hinata sighed ever so softly as he tilted his head and leaned in. 

“Shouyo, I love you,” whispered Wakatoshi, his eyes watching Hinata’s every move. Brown eyes snapped open and his cheeks turned bright red. 

“I love you too,” he mumbled. Then, “That’s not fair.” He nuzzled to Wakatoshi’s cheek. 

“You’re not fair,” Wakatoshi whispered back. “With your cute voice and your sexy lips and your smiles...” He nudged back up and turned his own face towards Hinata. Slowly, their lips met. 

The moment they did, it was like magic, like the first time. Wakatoshi never wanted to forget this moment, as Hinata’s lips molded so perfectly to his, as Hinata sighed so softly and leaned his weight into Wakatoshi. Fingers tugged his shirt slowly out of his slacks and hands roamed up to a soft, pale back. Hinata shivered and clung to Wakatoshi. The kiss deepened as Hinata licked his little tongue out against thin lips, Wakatoshi instantly opening his lips and slipping out his own tongue to meet Hinata’s velvety one. A soft moan rippled between them, and Wakatoshi pulled Hinata closer again. 

Whether it was the fact that they were just good together, or Hinata was really good at this, Wakatoshi was all too soon hard from just their kissing, and Hinata was breathing heavy against his cheek. He slipped his hands back to Hinata’s hips and lifted him, legs instantly locking around his waist, and he took a moment to whisper, “Let’s go to the bedroom so we can continue this comfortably.”

Hinata gave a soft little moan and nod, lips pretty and red, eyelids fluttering, and not a moment later Wakatoshi kissed him again, giving intermittent little pecks as he walked them to his room. There he set Hinata’s feet down on his hardwood floor, hands sliding back up under his shirt. Hinata shivered, wet eyes looking up at Wakatoshi with so much desire and affection. 

“Can I take off your shirt?” he whispered shyly, fingers gripping at the bottom buttons of the navy shirt Wakatoshi wore, and the other man nodded as he rubbed circles into Hinata’s soft back. They were reverently quiet as Hinata loosened his tie and set it aside, as he worked diligently to remove the brunet’s shirt. Small, cool hands slid up against a warm chest, to his shoulders, and he worked the shirt off of those broad shoulders he loved so much. Wakatoshi didn’t mind it as the shirt crumpled to the floor, his own hands already finding Hinata’s bow tie. 

“My turn,” he husked, and Hinata nodded, his hands busy on Wakatoshi’s firm chest, exploring. Wakatoshi set the tie aside with his own and then expertly removed the shirt in a few seconds. He moved instantly to Hinata’s pants, leaning over and breathing a little heavier now. Hinata’s hands curled around his neck and he looked up, breathing affected too. 

“Shouyo, you’re so attractive,” Wakatoshi whispered to a red ear. He slid the redhead’s pants down, Hinata helping him work them off. 

“Yours too,” husked Hinata as he clung tighter to the tall man’s neck. Wakatoshi slipped his pants off in a breath, and then he lifted Hinata up high, legs wrapping around Wakatoshi’s chest, Hinata suddenly having to bend his head down to look at his boyfriend. He smiled, giggled. Wakatoshi looked up at him and the sound caught, inhaled sharply. Hinata’s smile trembled, and he felt overwhelmed again, but this time he was absolutely ready, and so he pushed past his nerves. Hands combed through Wakatoshi’s olive brown hair and he smiled again. Lips met without a word needing to be said between them, and Hinata sighed happily. 

Wakatoshi stepped them to the bed and shuffled onto it on his knees as he slowly lowered Hinata down. This freed his hands to touch down Hinata’s slim waist and over his soft chest. There was a soft whimper as a finger grazed against Hinata’s leaking cock, and Wakatoshi shivered. 

“Shouyo, cuteness, will you touch me?” Wakatoshi pressed a soft kiss to Hinata’s cheek before resuming their kiss, Hinata’s hands loosening from the tight hold around his neck, shivering as they slipped down a solid chest, firm pectorals and carved abs. They roamed back up and then over thick arms, over veiny forearms. Wakatoshi interlaced their fingers together and then pulled Hinata’s arm up, giving him space to begin kissing down a milky chest, noting every freckle he passed with his lips. 

With Hinata’s lips freed up, his voice began to fill the bedroom, Wakatoshi’s cock twitching at the sound of it. As he kissed Hinata’s soft skin, his other hand slipped inside boxer briefs and tugged them off. He pulled back only for a moment to grab lube from his bedside table, a condom too, both of which he’d stored there only recently. When he turned back, Hinata was watching him with desire hot in his brown eyes, his bottom lip between his teeth. He gave a wanton little moan as Wakatoshi smiled, as he took his time lubing up his fingers and spreading Hinata’s legs over his thick thighs. 

“Toshi,” husked Hinata when his cock was beginning to ache awfully. He shyly touched his fingertips to the waistband of Wakatoshi’s underwear. “Can I see?” he breathed. 

Wakatoshi nodded, slipping off the bed to one-handedly pull down his own boxer briefs. When he stood again, it was in all of his glory, and Hinata gasped. In a flash, Wakatoshi was back on the bed, Hinata re-situated over his legs as he bent down over his smooth body. He kissed Hinata hungrily, growling quietly as his fingers shifted between plump ass cheeks, as they searched for the prize. Hinata gave a high little gasp and Wakatoshi plunged in to the first knuckle, sighing against Hinata’s lips. He broke the kiss and pressed his lips down into messy hair, to Hinata’s ear. “Shouyo, I’m going to try to be gentle with you, but I can already tell you’re going to feel really damn good. Please forgive me if I loose my cool. I won’t hurt you, I swear.”

Hinata hiccuped, clung to Wakatoshi’s back. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I just want you so badly, want you... inside-!” He gasped high as Wakatoshi slipped his finger in deeper, going stiff.

Wakatoshi soothed him. “I have to really loosen you up first,” he said with barely any patience of his own, but he knew he couldn’t slack on this part. It wasn’t to boast, but he was fairly large, and Hinata had a tiny body. He would need to be diligent so he didn’t hurt his precious boyfriend at all. “Please be patient, my love.”

Wakatoshi, to ease some of Hinata’s longing, began kissing again down his body, pleasantly discovering that Hinata liked having his nipples nibbled and suckled at. His other hand he wrapped around Hinata’s gorgeous cock, rubbing it just enough to ease the itch the redhead felt. Soon Hinata was begging and moaning again, so willing as Wakatoshi worked him open one finger at a time. Three fingers was a tight fit, but by then he himself was at his limit, and when he asked Hinata breathlessly if it was okay, the other replied with a soft, “Please fuck me, Toshi~”.

With a quick apology to Hinata’s parents and his own mother, he pulled his fingers out and rolled on his condom, keeping his other hand working at Hinata’s cock, massaging his hips. Then he sat up, pulling Hinata’s hips upwards for penetration. Hinata’s entrance was messy and open, winking silently at Wakatoshi like an invitation, and the man inhaled sharply. 

“Baby, I love you,” he reminded Hinata a moment before he sank himself inside the wonder that was Hinata’s tight little ass. “Oh my god,” he choked out, and Hinata let out a wild moan, hands scrambling to hold on, to anything. He dug his fingers into the sheets until Wakatoshi collected his hands and sank down atop his treasure, kissing sweetly at small palms. He wrapped Hinata one arm at a time around his own neck, and then he kissed the lips of the only person he would ever feel so wildly and deeply for. His heart wouldn’t slow down, and his whole body sang at the feeling of sinking into Hinata. Oh, he was divine. He kissed along Hinata’s jaw and his lips, his temple and his lips, over and over like he couldn’t focus on one thing he loved. 

“Wait!” yelped Hinata at some point, Wakatoshi halfway in, and he went very still, doing as Hinata asked. 

“Is it too much?” he asked, trying to hold back his regret as he rubbed at the smaller male’s hips. Hinata was trying to breathe. 

“You’re just... big. Is there still a lot left?”

“We don’t have to-“

“Wakatoshi, I want all of you,” Hinata said with unshakeable desire. He slipped a hand over Wakatoshi’s cheek, the shift of his body making his gasp high, eyes rolling up for a moment. “I won’t waste your kindness in making sure I wouldn’t get hurt, but I want to make it good for you, too, Toshi.”

“It’s already so good,” husked the brunet, but Hinata kissed him sweetly and smiled. 

“Go ahead,” he whispered. “Slowly, but don’t stop until you’re all in.”

Wakatoshi inhaled sharply and begged his body to behave. When all he wanted was to just thrust his whole cock inside because Hinata’s inside were like heaven, he had to be good. This would be hard on Hinata, regardless of how well he had prepped the other, and so he had to be sweet. Besides, his Hinata was far too precious to treat so roughly, and so he swallowed his pride and sank his hands down into the bed so he could take his time. 

Hinata’s hands slipped away from Wakatoshi’s neck, fingers curling instead around his wrists, and this gave Wakatoshi the best view of Hinata as he was fucked for the very first time. He was beautiful, of course. His hair had gotten a little messy, and Wakatoshi wanted to comb it all out so that it was just his wild boyfriend beneath him, with all of his natural beauty. His freckles stood out against red cheeks, the blush creeping down to Hinata’s pale chest. His lips trembled and sometimes parted to release a heavenly little sound, his eyes shut and lashes fluttering over puffy cheeks. Hinata was something so beautiful that Wakatoshi felt himself unworthy of touching sometimes. Those were the times that Hinata took his hand, pressed it to his cheek, smiled at him and reminded him he wasn’t the only one who was in love. Hinata was so perfect for someone like Wakatoshi, who was big and awkward and cared too much about work and being tidy. Where Wakatoshi was uptight, Hinata was free, and where Wakatoshi was insecure, Hinata reminded that he was wonderful and worthy. He wished he could find a better word than love, as it felt cheap and cliche sometimes. As he looked at Hinata now, something came to him that was nearly perfect. 

With the final slow push, he was finally seated fully inside, and so he melted against Hinata and told him sweetly, “My love, my sweet, my whole life, I adore you to pieces.”

Hinata moaned prettily, arms coming back up and hugging Wakatoshi tight to his chest, hiccuping out an over-emotional sob. He tried a few times to say Wakatoshi’s name, but in the end just gave up, clinging to Wakatoshi like the man was the only thing he cared about. Wakatoshi wrapped his own arms under and around Hinata, and slowly he began to rock his hips, slowly he began to make love to the only person that mattered. It was quiet save for Hinata’s crying and sweet little blubbers, that he was feeling good, that he loved Wakatoshi, and Wakatoshi bathed in the perfection of the moment. 

It didn’t matter that they would never have babies, and that they couldn’t truly be married. It didn’t matter their age or their different stations in life. All that mattered to Wakatoshi was Hinata, who he was, his kindness and love, and to Hinata, it was the same. Wakatoshi wondered if he would have had the courage to seek Hinata out if he was younger like Hinata, if he wasn’t at the end of his rope with his pride left long behind. He was such a cocky kid back then; he didn’t think he would have given in to Hinata like he had so easily now. And if Hinata was older, would he have still chosen Wakatoshi? Would he have found someone else along the way? The what if’s didn’t matter so much anymore when Wakatoshi accepted within himself that they were perfect just the way they were. Any hardship, they would face together, and Wakatoshi would watch Hinata truly blossom. Just knowing that he could do it all while holding Hinata close to his heart, always in his arms, it left him speechless. He was... bursting. 

With a hiccup, Hinata went tight around Wakatoshi, and with a soft, sinful moan, he spilled between the two of them. Wakatoshi paused for a second to breathe, and then he slowly lifted Hinata up into his arms, into his lap, hugging him close. 

“Is it okay if I keep going?” he asked when Hinata had gone boneless, and the other nodded and kissed his shoulder. Small hands pushed Wakatoshi back and he sank down into his pillows, looking up at the man who was his whole world, the pride of his life. Hinata smiled so sweetly at him, hands to his stomach, his pretty little cock wet and framed between his forearms. Hinata was a vision. 

He gasped high and whispered, “Don’t just get bigger suddenly!”

Wakatoshi let out a giggle, too happy to contain it. He caressed up Hinata’s perfect thighs and smiled up at the redhead, who drank it all in with wet eyes. Slowly, he began to rock his hips, cautious and a little unsure, but there-in lay the beauty of this moment. Neither of them really knew what they were doing, but they were doing it together, and whether it was right or wrong, it worked for them. Wakatoshi continued to pet soft legs, to rub big hands up Hinata’s sides and over his chest. He made sure he kept his eyes open and fixed. 

“Baby doll, you’re beautiful,” he told the redhead. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I love you so much.”

Hinata was crying again, rolling his hips because all he wanted was to give this perfect man the perfect pleasure. Wakatoshi, who thought the world of him, didn’t even know how much Hinata thought of him. He thought so little of himself, but Hinata knew his true self, and he knew Wakatoshi was wonderful, a perfect gentleman, a dream guy. He was lucky, so lucky; he knew it very, very well. This man who could have had anyone, could have had someone so much better, chose Hinata, who was foolish and young and too in love to be any good. He would never be able to say thank you enough, never be able to make it up in a million years with sex or kisses or words of affection, but he would certainly try. 

With only the desire in his mind to give to Wakatoshi as good as he gave to him, he milked Wakatoshi to a mind-blowing orgasm, so good that Wakatoshi went deathly silent in the face of it. Hinata worried his pretty little head over it until Wakatoshi hugged the man to his chest and began to _sob_. 

_Oh_ , he thought as he sank against Wakatoshi’s strong, broad chest. He couldn’t help it as he began to smile as Wakatoshi cried into his neck. 

“I love you,” he whispered to Wakatoshi. “I adore you,” he promised. Wakatoshi collected his boyfriend up in his arms, holding him close so he wouldn’t see his tear-stained face, and he walked him to the bathroom. Quietly, reverently, they untangled from each other and Wakatoshi turned Hinata’s back to him, hugged him close as he turned the water of the shower on. 

“Don’t look at me for a sec,” he whispered roughly into Hinata’s ear, enough to send a shiver down his spine. He was silently obedient, his hands gripping at Wakatoshi’s arms around his shoulders. He kissed a bicep and nuzzled to it with a big smile. 

“I love you so much, Wakatoshi,” he whispered. “I hope you always know that. I want to be by your side for the rest of our lives, to love you with everything in me. You... are my perfection, and I want to be your only one for as long as we’re alive.”

“You will be,” swore Wakatoshi in an emotional voice, words thick. “You always will be, my sweet Shouyo.”

“Can I kiss you?” whispered Hinata. “I want to see your face.”

“Was it good?” he hushed as Wakatoshi turned him around, as he looked up at leaky eyes and red cheeks, at Wakatoshi looking perfectly ruined in the best way. Wakatoshi’s lips lifted and he gave Hinata the most beautiful smile, his biggest one ever. 

“It was... perfect,” he promised as he swooped down to kiss Hinata. “You’re beautiful, and perfect.”

Hinata giggled, clinging to his man. 

“I love you,” husked Wakatoshi. They stood like that for a long time in the water, soaking in the feeling that this was forever. 

“I adore you,” they whispered together, smiling. 

There would never be anyone else.

x

Wakatoshi had been staring at the ceiling for a solid hour, finally processing everything from last night, remembering everything in great detail. Hinata lay breathing softly against his side, and Wakatoshi slapped a hand over his mouth as the goofiest smile broke his face nearly in half. 

“So he really does like me,” he whispered like it had truly not occurred to him until now. He let out a short laugh, absolutely floored. Hinata shifted against him and murmured in his sleep. 

Wakatoshi rolled to his side and let his eyes take in every detail of a sleeping Hinata. 

“You really like me, huh?” he murmured as it hit him again. Over and over, it washed over him, as he was reminded again and again that Hinata really did _like him_. “That’s wild,” he muttered to himself, lost in Hinata’s blissful face. 

Slowly, brown eyes cracked open, taking Wakatoshi in, his softness, his warmth. Hands uncurled from where he’d fisted them together in sleep and he slowly touched fingertips over Wakatoshi’s chest. “We had sex?” he asked quietly like the pain in his ass wasn’t enough. “It wasn’t a dream?”

“No, baby doll,” Wakatoshi whispered reverently. He slowly wrapped Hinata up and pulled him to his chest. 

“Did your mom really say it was okay?” asked Hinata with a shaky voice as he clung to Wakatoshi. 

“Yes, my darling. And either way, I would still love you.”

“Are you sure?” squeaked out a tiny voice, and Wakatoshi hugged him so tight, kissed his head. 

“Absolutely, positively, for all eternity, my sweet.”

Hinata released a long, quaky breath. “Yeah,” he whispered. “I’m so glad.”

They basked in the warmth of their love, of the fact that it was really okay. 

Every day would bring a reminder for both of them, as they slowly found their groove together. Waking up with Hinata in his arms, coming home to Hinata, picking Hinata up from school and dinner together wherever they chose. Even if they never officially said it, slowly more and more of Hinata’s things moved to Wakatoshi’s house until one day Hinata laughed and informed Wakatoshi that he’d cancelled his other lease. This had made Wakatoshi feel some kind of way, enough to make love to Hinata on his kitchen countertop. 

And slowly they stopped caring what people outside would think. Wakatoshi had a photo of Hinata on his desk, and most everyone in the office knew, had probably guessed for a while that he was madly in love with someone. Hinata had eagerly told all of his friends, had introduced Wakatoshi to some of them, and Wakatoshi had made a dinner date for Hinata to meet his mother. She loved him, of course she did. 

They never went anywhere without holding hands or arms linked anymore. It was beautiful for Hinata to watch Wakatoshi’s confidence grow so bold in his love. It was beautiful for Wakatoshi to see Hinata bloom into his own man, to take on his first real job and decide for himself how he wanted the future to go. 

Three years later found them in the same restaurant they’d had their first date at, drinking the same sake, Hinata having grown into such a handsome man, Wakatoshi beginning to sport some handsome grays in his short hair. The redhead quietly pulled out a small box on the eve of their three year anniversary, looking up at the man he loved more with each passing day.

“I know technically you should be the one asking me, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought it would take you way too long to get around to it,” Hinata teased kindly. Wakatoshi glanced down at the small box and scratched at his scalp. Then he smiled and placed his big hand over Hinata’s and the box, pulled out his own little box and laughed. Hinata gaped at him with giant eyes, and Wakatoshi fell in love all over again. He leaned in to Hinata and kissed his cheek. 

“Sweetheart, how about it? Will you do this old man the honor of being my husband for the rest of my life?”

“I was gonna be the one to ask this time,” Hinata pouted softly. He cupped Wakatoshi’s cheek and husked back, “Will you make this foolish youngster unbelievably happy and marry me?”

Wakatoshi laughed again, a sound that was becoming something more and more common, one that Hinata would never get tired of, and Hinata pulled back with that same smile, the one that had made Wakatoshi fall in love in the first place, and they whispered together, “Of course, you didn’t need to ask.”

Wakatoshi was again cool and collected, Hinata a bumbling mess as they slid rings onto fingers, as they looked up at each other and shared a kiss. It didn’t matter anymore where they were. They loved each other, had been through the wringer together enough times to know that that was the only thing that mattered in the end. With foreheads pressed together, they clinked their sake cups, and they promised once again their love and affection to each other for life. 

Wherever life would take them, the truest home they had ever found was in each other’s arms. There, it was warm, filled with love, a house that would stand forever and ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we are 💓 Thank you all so much for your comments and love, I always appreciate it 🥺 This rarepair has my heart and deserves the whole world 💓


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